Cope with me (l.s)

I will always hold you 🤍

Harry's pov-
It's been about two days since the boys came over and 2 days since I was last in my headspace. Louis is outside on the balcony smoking or vaping I don't really care. These voices in my head are getting louder and louder every minute.
"Your not good enough" "louis doesn't love you" "stop acting like a baby" and so on I know I can ignore them or even tell Lou but right now he's busy and I don't want to go outside, louis is walking inside towards the sofa and sits next to me.

"Hey baby you look pale are you okay" he asks a bit more worried then I want him to be.
"Huh yeah I'm good I think" I say to him putting my hand on his that's now on my thigh.
We stay sat down for a while before he gets up and heads towards the bathroom which I'm presuming he's going to pee, he dosent he comes straight out with a pull up making his way towards the sofa.

"I know you probably don't want to but I know you and I know the voices are there I can see it baby" he says. Fuck he knows. He fucking knows.
He picks me up and takes my underwear off and puts a pull up on me a cars pull up. A bit too babyish for my liking but I know what he's trying to do or at least trying to help me. I sit back down on his lap and he holds my hand tightly but not too tight. I start to cry and pee at the same time he holds me tighter and tells me it's going to be okay and that im not on my own anymore. My breathing starts to race and my shirt becomes ichy i can't take this anymore.

"Hazzy im here okay right here." Louis tells me. He's tightening his grip on my wrists.

"I-I-I want this to be over please make it stop" I plead I don't want this.

"I wish I could baby I really do" he says I really don't know what is happening and why it's happening anymore I really don't want to feel like this.
My breathing slows down and he's losining his hold on me. I try to move off his lap but he keeps me still.
"Stay here a second baby, we can sort whatever it is out in a minute" he tells me I want my top off its getting icky now.
"Off please" I say to him pulling at my top so he knows what I mean, my words arnt coming out properly.
He obliges and takes it off im now just in a wet pull up he's in a hoddie and boxers. He turns me around so I'm facing him he doesn't talk just gives me his hand to hold I grab his thumb and start to suck on it, I know it's gross but it's the only thing keeping me sane at the moment feeling close to him.

Louis PoV-
I wish I could take all of this away from him all the pain and all these voices in his little head. I know that he'll come out of it okay, we're still sat down he's sucking on my thumb while I run my hands through his curls the flat is quiet but a good quiet. I pick up the tv remote finding something to watch and end up putting on some tv show about kids at a school where the teacher can't teach bad education or something. Harry's calmed down a lot now and I decide to take my hoodie off because it's getting hot in here, I have nothing on underneath, he wines at the sudden loss of my thumb. A few hours have passed since his outburst and he seems to be okay now, I still haven't changed him though it's currently 8:23pm almost time for us to sleep.
"Hazzy can we change you?" I say to him.
"O'tay" he replies to me. So with that u lift him up and place him lead down on the sofa ti go grab a nappy cause they hold more through out the night then a pull up would do. Once back in the living room I pick his legs up and remove the pull up and replace it with the back of a nappy taping it up securely. He hasn't eaten all day so I walk to the kitchen a grab me and him some cheese sandwiches and a silly cup of milk and me a cup of tea. I return to the living room to see him still on the sofa I ask him to sit up and he dose I hand him a sandwich and he starts to eat and drink his milk I finish my food waiting for him to finish. About 20 minutes later he's done and I take him to bed he lead down thumb slowly making it towards his mouth I stop him again and put a dummy in his mouth he quickly falls asleep I can't sleep I go back out to smoke. I hear a faint cry so I quickly discard my cigarette. I walk towards the bedroom and Harry's crying he had leaked and wet the bed I didn't even care about the bed so I pick him up and change him again carting him to the living room laying down with him on the sofa. And that's how we fell asleep with him on top of me head in the nook of my neck. I fucking love him so much I can't believe I got so lucky to be his friend