Thinking Of You

Chapter One

I never wanted to come back here. Winamac Indiana has absolutely nothing going for it. As a teenager I truly believed that this is where people came to die. Of boredom. A glorified nursing home, if you will. Lafayette was better, there was always something to do. But it was either move back to Winamac with Evie, or living with my mom in Monticello. The choice was clear. My mom probably wouldn't be able to live with me without wanting to know everything about why I decided to leave him. Not that she particularly liked Trevor, but she couldn't help herself. She wanted to talk about it. She is my mom, and she does support my decision. But she also looks for any excuse to shit talk about him.

As I drive my full car down the highway, I can't help but think she was completely right about him after all. We were a complete cliché. High school sweethearts, thought we'd be together for the rest of our lives. Her and my step dad told us we needed to be more serious about our future, at the very least think of a solid plan to strive for. So Trevor thought proposing to me would change their minds and they'd be excited for us. He couldn't have been more wrong about anything in his whole life. I mean, looking back on everything, we were stupid to say the least. At the time I was only eighteen, Trevor just nineteen. We were basically children still. I was working part time, he couldn't hold a job to save his life. And they knew that. After we graduated we decided we were just gonna move away from everything and everyone who didn't have anything nice to say about us or how we lived our lives. And Lafayette was apparently the place to go. My mom begged me not to go, but my love struck brain told me I would have a better life away from her and everyone else.

Three years of my life has been wasted trying to make that relationship work. Realistically I should have left when he tried to put his hands on me, but the man was so good at gaslighting me he could've won an Oscar for best performance. Even my best friend, Evie, stopped coming around because of him. We still texted from time to time, but she wouldn't step into our apartment if I paid her. After he cheated for the second time with one of my co-workers, I had had it. There was no love in our life together. I paid all the bills, I paid the rent of our shitty apartment. And for what? So I could come home after a ten hour shift to him fucking that skank, in our bed no less. After I chased the whore in question out of the apartment, throwing whatever my hands found at her as she ran, I turned my growing rage to him. He argued it was my fault, that I didn't give him the attention he thought he deserved.

His entitled attitude is what finally broke me. We fought like we never had before. Screaming, crying, shattering glass. When the dust finally settled, the silence was deafening. When I asked him why he would do this again, after forgiving him the first time, he just blamed me more. The last time I saw him I had pulled my ring off and tossed it at him, a shocked look overtaking his face. He actually started crying when I told him it was over, tried to keep me there by pinning me in his arms, crushing me, told me he would change. I had heard it all before. I couldn't breath, couldn't move under his muscles. He didn't let go of me until I started hitting him in the head. As soon as he let go I bailed out the door, got in my car, and called my mom.

Fast forward to this morning, I cleaned out all my stuff from the apartment. My mom insisted I have police present for the clean up and, for once, I listened to her. They went up first to inform Trevor of what was about to happen. He actually tried to protest. Eventually one of the cops came and brought me upstairs so I could gather my things. Trevor loomed in the hallway the entire time. With the last box crammed into my backseat, I thanked the officers for their time, watched as they drove away. I climbed into the drivers seat and pulled out my phone to let Evie know I was on my way, but was interrupted by a text message. I already knew it was him before I even opened it. The message was clear and to the point.

I know you still love me. We belong together. I'll see you soon babe

Fucking. Red headed. Bastard. I looked up just in time to see him close the sheet we had put up to block the window. He just couldn't help himself. I couldn't tell if the text was meant to be a promise or a threat. Either way, I put the car in drive and haven't looked back.