the things we do in the dark (+18)

5

Snow falls from a barren branch and sprinkles glitter-like mist into the air as Iverem drives her snowmobile up the mountain. Behind her trails Jonah, Devon and Augustine: her current conundrum.

Why can't my sex fantasies stay as sex fantasies, Iverem inwardly groans. She hasn't told Jonah about the kiss yet and is unsure how to approach the subject. Jonah hates Augustine, and Augustine feels much the same about his half-brother. Iverem didn't want to be in the middle of their feud. But she knew if she told Jonah about what Augustine did, it would cause a further rift in their relationship, and she didn't want to be in the middle of their dysfunction.

Another issue would arise if she told Jonah about what happened this morning; Iverem didn't push Augustine off of her fast enough. She lingered near him, close to his mouth. As she breathed him in and felt the heat of his hand on her thigh, Iverem's spirit was momentarily awakened. Iverem knew she had to tell Jonah about the kiss, but she didn't know if she could be honest with him about how it made her feel.

Augustine makes her feel alive, and it frightens her that a man like him could have that much power over her. She's further frightened by an intense desire to touch him again, smell his scent of cardamom and orange peels, feel his lips on her own, and let him have his way with her.

Then, there is the issue regarding her mother's dementia. Did she really need to be in a row with Jonah when her life was about to change?

The group stops their snowmobiles at a clearing in the middle of the forest.

"There should be a lake north of here," Jonah says.

"How much further?" Devon says.

"Twenty minutes from here," Augustine says.

"Want to take a break?" Jonah asks Iverem.

She shakes her head.

Devon revs her engine. "We can take a break when we get there," she says, then rides into the forest.

Jonah looks back at Iverem, waiting for her to follow his lead. "I'll catch up with you. Go ahead," she says.

She needs some distance from Jonah to think about whether she should do the right thing, or the best thing for her.

As he speeds off into the distance, Iverem finally exhales the breath she's been holding.

"You okay?" Augustine says. His voice is as smooth as red wine. Iverem grows still all at once, waiting to hear the timber of his voice again.

When he doesn't say anything else, she finally looks at him. The helmet he wears obscures most of his face. Good, I don't want to see his smug fucking smile, she thinks.

"You shouldn't be talking to me right now," she says. "Not after what you did this morning."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Yes, I am. He's my boyfriend," she spits out.

Augustine looks towards the direction Devon and Jonah sped off for a moment before he settles his gaze back on Iverem.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he says.

"Fuck what you think," she says, leaving him behind.

He's on her tail in a matter of seconds. Why won't he leave me alone, she thinks.

She turns her head and flips him off. This causes the snowmobile to veer into an evergreen tree.

Iverem goes flying into the snow.