As The World Falls Down

Robbe 2.0

Two weeks had passed, things were more or less the same in his life, except when it came to him and Sander. They were still friends, but it had changed between them. They met less now, Sander sometimes came to lunch and sat with him, the way he used to, before, but it was not often. Robbe had glanced at the Blonde Ambition when it happened the first time. He didn't ask about Marie, Sander didn't mention her also. Nobody talked or asked about it too, not that the others were particularly close to him. They just threw glances at the both of them, Jens had narrowed his eyes at Sander, but no one said anything. Sander had been transferred up to the last year's class and the news about his dyslexia had spread. As it turned out, there was a couple junior who had the same problem, and had come forward to the school too. The stigma was actually not as bad as they were afraid of, there were biases, prejudices, whispered pity or sympathy, but most people were either indifferent or seemed to see them in new light.

He and Sander still talked and laughed as they used to, almost like nothing weird had happened between them, but something did happen, no matter the pretense. He didn't know whether Sander felt something more for him or not, and even if he did, it was clear that he didn't want it to be more. Robbe could sense that Sander was keeping distance from him. He never came to his flat anymore, Robbe also didn't offer. He also didn't approach him that often at school. They texted less, and Robbe restrained himself from contacting him too much. Maybe it's better this way. But Robbe couldn't help but wish things were like before, when he didn't have to hold back when he was with him. He wished he didn't yearn for him this much. It's better than nothing though, and who in life get what they wish for? So, Robbe made do with what he had.

"So, that's how it is darling, the house is so empty without you." The house was always empty, but Robbe didn't say it. His mom was telling him how things were at home, which basically sounded like two roommates who stay out from each other way and only crossed path when it was necessary.

Robbe wondered whether they still slept in the same room. His mom often stay late at work, and his dad travelled a lot for bussiness trips. Robbe didn't understand why they didn't just get a divorce, instead of continuing torturing each other.

"When will you come home darling?" His mom asked when Robbe didn't reply. She said again gently through the phone, "I know I wasn't always there for you, and I am sorry honey. I realise I haven't been a good mother, but I promise you I will be better."

"Mom, you are a good mother. You are just busy, and I understand that you are helping people."

"Robbe, you are such a sweet kid, but I know that I have been neglecting you. I am sorry honey, and I miss you."

"I miss you too, mom. But, I want to stay with my friends here for now, I feel that it's doing good things to me. This way, you also don't have to worry about leaving me at home by myself."

His mom was quiet.

"Can I stay mom? If it's the rent, I think I can do some part-time job maybe."

"Of course it's not that. The rent is fine, you really think I am that kind of mother, honey?"

"No.."

"I just miss you, Robbe."

"I'll come home on weekends, when you are at home, then we can spend some time together?"

"Okay honey. Everyone is treating you well right?"

"My flatmates are really good to me, mom. Don't worry."

"That's good."

Robbe said before he could change his mind, "Mom, I need to tell you something."

"What is it, honey?"