As The World Falls Down

What is happiness

What is happiness? Happiness was riding home on his bike together with Sander, circling each other through wide alleys, stopping to get ice cream or when mouth-watering smell of some street vendors calling to them. Happiness was listening to music while watching Sander's fingers flown across the page, spread of charcoals bloomed into beauty, like magic; his eyes was a world glowing bright with its own light. Happiness was waking up and falling asleep next to him, to be the first and the last person who heard his voice; rough in the morning, deep and warm at night, sometimes spoke with eyes closed, heavy with sleep because they had been talking about random things, lying on the bed; to have his face the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes. Happiness was laughing and joking around while cooking dinner with him, to bug him into drawing some illustration for his biology or geography homework, to have his room such a mess, and their stuffs in mixed up clutters, because Sander was so disorganized and Robbe would give him a look when he couldn't find something, and Sander would laughed shyly and tidied up after that, but then it would be a mess again. It might not be in the way Robbe really wanted it to be, but it was the closest he ever got to that one word, and he would relish it as long as it lasted.

Sander had lived in the flat for more than a week now. He had gone back to his home when his father was not around to take some of his belongings. From what Robbe gathered, his father seemed to know that he was staying in a friend's place and didn't seem to care or maybe he thought it was better that way, though he seemed to still support him financially. Robbe was just glad Sander was out of that house. Sander had became fast friend with Senne since the beginning of their acquaintance, which was surprising considering his nature, but they appeared to just click for whatever reason. Milan and Zoe didn't ask any question; Robbe only said that Sander had some issue at home. He didn't know what they think about his relationship with Sander, it didn't seem that weird to him, except for the fact that they slept on the same bed everynight. Living with him, Sander of course couldn't keep distance the way he did before, but he never crossed the line of friendship. As if by unspoken agreement, they didn't spend all their time together, but went the way they usually did, even though Robbe had found more excuses to not hang out with Jens and the others.

One night, Robbe was having a hard time to sleep; he kept changing his position, stretching and bending this way and that way, but it didn't seem to work. At one point, he had turned around and found his face crashed onto Sander's bare chest, his cheek and his mouth had pressed on his warm sleeping body. Whether Sander hadn't been asleep or had been awaken by his movement, he felt him stiffened under the contact.

"Sorry", Robbe mumbled and turned around quickly. He was about to scoot away to his side of the bed, but Sander's arm shot out, stopping him. He pulled his back to his body, nestled close, his arm slumped over his middle, hugging him. Robbe felt their length against each other, Sander's knee touching the back of his leg. His heart was thumping loud, he was afraid that Sander could hear it.

"Better?" Sander mumbled in sleepy voice. His word kissed the back of his hair, ghosted down his neck.

"Mm-hm." Robbe closed his eyes, listening to Sander's steady breathing and the warmth of his skin, feeling his heartbeats slowed down and didn't remember falling asleep.

After that, whenever Sander noticed that Robbe couldn't sleep, he would draw him to his body, his eyes closed; Robbe would turn around and snugged close onto him, his back against his chest, all warm and cozy; Sander's soft breathings lulling him to sleep. Other than that, nothing else ever happened.

*

One Saturday afternoon, he was playing video game in the sitting room, when Senne walked in. He sat down next to him on the couch, offered him his bowl of chips. Robbe shook his head, still focusing on his game.