Loki oneshots

A Day In The Life of Paprika Maximoff-Romanoff

A/N obligatory disclaimer that Loki's not in this one. it's another Christmas gift for my friend and it's just Wanda and Natasha being all lovey-dovey and also having a very stupid cat. 

Paprika is a cat.

Paprika happens to have the two best owners in the history of cat owners ever.

That pretty much means she can do whatever she wants.

It's morning now. Paprika doesn't know what time it is – she can't exactly read a clock – but it must be morning. She can feel it in her bones that it's morning time. This is what she's been waiting for. This is her moment. She's prepared all night for this.

She stands up from where she's been snuggled against Natasha's legs, reaches her arms out super duper far to stretch her back, and then climbs up her owner. She's lucky this morning: Natasha and Wanda are spooning, which makes it her job very easy. She walks up Big Spoon Natasha's legs, and, once she reaches her hips, she walks across both her stomach and Wanda's to reach the coveted position of littlest spoon. She will admit, snuggling up against Little Spoon Wanda's chest is very comfortable, but that's not what she's here for. No, she's on a mission, and she can't get sidetracked by... very... comfortable... snuggles...

Snap out of it, Paprika!

She walks up to Wanda's face, and then, because she loves her owners so, so much, she walks across Wanda's face. Wanda groans, so she must be doing something right. Then, because Natasha's face is right there (this is why she loves when they spoon), Paprika walks across her face next.

"Stop it," Natasha mumbles.

It's working!

Paprika steps back onto her, this time from behind, and positions herself carefully on her owner's side. She gently presses her front paws against her owner's ribs, slowly and carefully, and her claws poke out with each step. It's not enough to hurt her. She'd never want to hurt her owner. She just wants...

She wants.

She just wants.

Natasha shifts around uncomfortably, as though trying to shake Paprika off, but she would never try to shake Paprika off! She loves Paprika! She does this every morning. Paprika thinks it's a sign of love. So, to show that the love is reciprocated, she keeps doing it.

Natasha groans and unburies her arm from her blanket to push Paprika away. Her eyes are closed, though. She must be doing it in her sleep. She would never try to push Paprika away! She loves Paprika! She's just sleep-pushing. She does this a lot.

Paprika climbs across both her owners, standing precariously on Wanda's shoulder. She carefully lifts her front paw, and, when she's sure she's not going to fall, she taps it against Wanda's forehead. That doesn't get a reaction. She reaches her paw a little further, and this time, she hits Wanda's nose. That's the human way of showing affection, right? It must be. They do it to Paprika all the time.

Wanda moans quietly. She must know that Paprika's here! She must show her owner more love now that her owner knows she's here! She reaches over and taps her again, this time over the eyelid. Wake up! she's saying. I'm right here!

Wanda just covers her face with her blanket.

What's this about? She can't do this. It's loving time! Is she still asleep? She must be still asleep. That's the only explanation that Paprika can think of for why she would do this – why she does this every morning. She's still sleeping.

Paprika can fix this!

Paprika taps her head through the blanket. "Meow!"

Nothing.