still, none the wiser (poetry)

remember

"remember what you're fighting for."

but it's so hard when i can't see my own

fists in front of me.

i can feel them, reaching, searching for

something to hold on to.

they look and look and grab and grab at air,

at voids, at shadows.

at nothing.

the only thing my hands can find in the

darkness is eachother.

so i stand, or perhaps i am sinking, holding

onto the single thing i have left,

myself.

♤♤♤

"remember what you're fighting for."

but it's so hard when i can barely remember

your voice.

i think it was beautiful.

i think it once told me that you loved me.

i think.

i miss you and i hope you feel that somehow.

or maybe you'll see it in the sunset of

wherever you've gone to.

you'll see my face in a pink cloud and you'll

remember my eyes and you'll remember

that i am what you used to fight for.

please miss me, too.

and maybe, just maybe, say it out loud one

last time, for me.

♤♤♤

"remember what you're fighting for."

how could i forget?

it is hard and it burns but how could i

forget?

i am fighting for the light.

i am fighting for my future.

i am fighting for a simple afternoon in the

summer,

where perhaps i've read all day.

my mind is somewhere else, but i come

back, just for a moment.

i come back because i realize that my hands,

the ones i was born with, the ones i felt you

leave with, the ones that held me together

when you failed to,

have let go.

and they're not as rough as they used to feel.

and your voice is one i now hear in the

wind.

it is beautiful.

i go back to my reading, and i start a new

chapter.

i can fight for this, i think.

-V