The French Formula (LSD, #3)

4. Pinball Wizard

Pinball Wizard

Last night, behind my desk at the entrance of the hospital, finally, I had time to read #1's secret file. Our mission is to give our country, Luxembourg, a prominent place in the international community. The easiest way to get to the top is by winning medals. The easiest way to win medals is by cheating, which in stripped outlines of official missions is called «by getting access (preferred: exclusive access) to success-generating formulae».

The outline gave details about only one formula. Someone had offered the recipe for a product with the code-name G.O.D. for sale via eBait.com: «Guaranteed success. Winning the Champions League was never so easy. Bidding starts with 50 million US dollars.» One day later, the offer had disappeared, but not the LSD's interest in the formula. #2, The Nerd, got priority orders to investigate the case. The post on eBait came from a computer in an Internet café in Monaco. The café was close to a hotel, owned by a Mister Mario Gambino, a member of the Gambino family, one of the notorious Five Families of New York. Mario, a well-known gambler, had disappeared on the same day as the offer on eBait. The Monaco Royal Casino had about fifty million reasons to find him. All we had to do was wait until their sharks smelled blood. The lead worked, although the sharks (at the bottom of Monaco's harbour) only left Mario's feet, carefully wrapped in concrete, as a mafia-version of the footprints of famous people on Hollywood Boulevard.

The Gambino family was not available for comment. Mario's unfortunate death didn't cause a series of accidents among the members of the other four families. The most plausible explanation, according to the LSD file, was that Mario had stolen the G.O.D.-formula from his family. He had tried to sell it, to settle his gambling debts with the Monaco Royal Casino. When his family found out, they gave Mario a new career in the fish food business. The proof of this theory was thin; it consisted of the letters OMG (Oh, My G.O.D.) engraved in Mario's concrete pedestal, which could also be a warning: «Observe Mario Gambino».

The Gambino family made its fortune in the early 20th century with illegal gambling. Gambling is simple business: when you win, you bet again because it gives you money more easily than working does, and when you lose, you bet again because you want to recoup your loss. Some people are too stupid to figure out what makes them go down so fast.

First, the US government started a war against illegal gambling. It cost them money, manpower and popularity. In the 1960s, Don Vincenzo Gambino made the authorities an offer they couldn't refuse: make gambling activities legal, and you'll get a share of the profit. The deal resulted in a growing network of casinos, one-armed bandits, and small local shops where people could bet on everything. Their latest activities were online gambling: the Gambinos owned Bet To Win, the official sponsor of the European Games. That's why I'm here. If our information is correct, Don Francesco Gambino is the G.O.D.-father with the formula we're looking for. He might be here in Brest, helping lesser gods to win medals, so lesser odds will guarantee higher profits.

After reading the file (and destroying it, of course), I had almost an entire night shift to think it over. On the Internet, I found more than enough details about the Gambino family. After Don Vincenzo's death (an unfortunate accident), his sons took over the family business. Don Francesco and his brothers Domenico and Salvatore have their own pages on Wikipedia, with more text than Beyoncé and Marc Anthony together. That didn't surprise me: 80% or more of our everyday news is about crime and violence, while it's hard to find one program about music on our 123 TV channels. With so much free publicity, people love crime and criminals better than art and beauty. Not interrupted by visitors, I used my night shift to complete the Gambino family tree with photos and bios. When danger knocks on your door, it's best if you know hor name.

I get two hours of sleep and two minutes of shower between the end of my second working day and the start of my third: Doc needs my help with the analysis of the saliva and blood samples I took after yesterday's game.