| Chapter Forty-one | A Change Is Made

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I forced myself to my feet and leaned against the table. My head began to hurt, and my fingers tapped the table.

"Don't give in. Get past this." I groaned.

My hand raked across my arm, and I felt a burning pain. I glanced down at my arm and groaned again. I made myself bleed.

I buried my face in my hands and I began to sob. My body screamed at me, and I was in agony over the desire.

I stood, and stumbled to the study room. I wanted to end this suffering. It hurt too much. I would only take a little bit. Just enough to ease the pain.

I grabbed a jar, and I sat on the floor with it. I opened it, and tilted my head back, drinking some.

My body relaxed a little, and I sighed. That was it. That was all I needed to do. Take a little to satisfy the desire.

My body cried out for more, and I took a little more. I kept doing this until I was sure I could fight it. But before long, when I tried to take a little more, the jar was empty.

I stood and growled. I threw the jar against the wall, shattering it. I failed again. I hated myself. I truly did become my father. I didn't deserve to be called a Rengoku.

"Agh! Fuck it!" I shouted.

I grabbed another jar from the shelf and opened it. The door behind me quickly slid open, and I turned. A wide-eyed Rika stood there, staring at me.

"What!?" I shouted.

She did nothing but stare at me. She glanced at the shelf, that held more jars of sake. She walked towards it and picked them up.

"Don't touch those!" I said.

"Kyojuro! You need to stop this! Right now!" She shouted.

"Go ahead and be ashamed of me!"

"I'm not ashamed, Kyojuro. We all have our mistakes. This is one of them. You're better than this, Kyojuro." She said.

"Sure, Miss Perfect." I said.

"Excuse me? Kyojuro what do you mean by that?"

"I mean you and Tomioka! You're married Rika! To me! Yet you go and kiss another man! And how am I to know that's all that happened?"

"Kyojuro, you know better than that. You know that would never happen! You have no room to talk! You let another woman put her hands on you! That's more than I ever let Giyu do! You only want to be an asshole right now!"

I glared at her and stepped forward.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that!" I said.

In my fury, I raised my hand, and struck her. She took a step back from the force and her hand covered her cheek. A tear flowed from her eye and I continued to glare.

She narrowed her eyes and she raised her fist and struck me in the face. I felt my nose crack, and blood dripped from it.

"Shit!" I turned, as blood flowed from my nose, and I dropped to my knees.

"Don't you ever think you can lay a hand on me again, Rengoku. Next time, I won't be there when you wake up." She said, then I heard her stomp from the room.

I sighed and laid down on my side. I let my nosebleed run its course. I began to feel dizzy and I passed out.

When I opened my eyes I was on the floor. I sat up and looked around. I was in the study room. Stood, and a pain ran down my arm, and through my nose. I glanced at my arm and it was bandaged.

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