Quite Quitting

HAPPY 30TH CHAR!

The tears didn't stop since last night. After the bar, I locked myself in my room and hid under the covers, where no one could see me, and more importantly, I could not see myself. Sugar exhausted her voice, asking me what was wrong, but I could not bring myself to tell her that I thought I was ugly now because some drunk man told me I was. More than that, I cried because I finally realized that Alex was not into me. I went in and out of sleep all night, but at 7 o'clock, I gave up on getting proper rest and went outside to sit on the couch and cry some more. Sugar now had full access to me and sat down beside me. I didn't want to see her. I wanted to be left alone. I didn't want to talk. To think. I just wanted to cry.

"Is it because it's your 30th tomorrow?" She asked. I sniffled. No, it was not because it was my birthday tomorrow, and I was saying goodbye to my 20s, but sure, let's add that to the list. "Because we should definitely celebrate that, and we are going to! Tonight!" she chirped.

"No!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, come on! Look, this was going to be a surprise, but I will just tell you. Noel and I rented a VIP spot at a nightclub, we invited Kate, Sabrina, and Jazz, and we are going to celebrate like old times."

"Sugar, please. I am not in the mood. I barely got out of bed. There is no way I can go to a club and hang out with girls I haven't really talked to for more than an hour since high school."

"What are you talking about?! These girls were our best friends. They want to celebrate this huge milestone with you. We've been friends for like 15 years! You have to fix your mood before tonight." She scolded me. "The only way to do that is by telling me the problem! What happened? Alex say something?" It was what he didn't say that hurt the most.

"Sugar..."

"No, I don't want any excuses. What happened!" She demanded.

I sighed. How do I get the words out? How do I even describe what I was feeling without looking and feeling ridiculous all over again? Sugar looked determined to get an answer out of me. "Someone called me...ugh."

"Called you what?" Sugar said, anger already building up in her voice.

"Below their standard. There was a teacher, Max, who thought I thought we were on a date and just kept going on and on about how it wasn't a date because I wasn't pretty enough for him." I unintentionally cried.

"What a moron! Whatever. He is insignificant. Why do you care what some rando thinks?" Sugar said, grabbing my face. "You know you're a firecracker. That's all that matters."

"He said it in front of Alex, and it seemed like he agreed," I whispered.

"Oh, of course. Fucking Alex. I don't care if I have to go back to Jersey, quit!"

"I can't get his face out of my head, Sugar. He looked at me with so much pity, like everything Max said was true!" I violently started crying, gasping for air but sticking my face into my hands to hide all these emotions falling out of my eyes and a little of my nose. So gross! I hated crying, but here we were. A day before my birthday, balling my sockets out.

"Honey, I know you're sad right now, but I think this is a good thing. That man has been stringing you along for so long. I am glad he is finally starting to be somewhat honest." She raised my head and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "Let's not dwell on someone who doesn't think about you much!" I said nothing. A part of me was hoping she would say I told you so. This way, I could have a reason to be angry at her and get out of tonight, but she decided to make sense and approach me with kindness. Why Sugar? Why? "Now get up, go shower because I promise you, you will feel better! I am going to make you breakfast. Then we pick a cheesy romantic movie and watch it with a pint of ice cream till Noel and the girls get here! Deal?"