Kim Namjoon Oneshots

Reflection

Everyone has insecurities. No matter your shape, gender, skin type or how other people see you, we all have insecurities. Unfortunately, sometimes we let these insecurities get the best of us.

So here you were, scrutinising your own reflection in front of you, only in your underwear. You picked and pulled at your skin. 'Why am I breaking out? When did my face get so…flaky? Ugh…look at my thighs'. You turned around looking at your turned around looking at your thighs and bum. On a good day, you would admire the stretchmarks on your bum, you thought they looked like pretty lightning strikes. But right now? You couldn’t stand them. Wait, when did all that cellulite get there? Pinching at your thighs, your face grimaced out of disgust and anger at yourself—you let yourself get to this state. Tears stung in your eyes, you felt defeated. Your figure stood there slouching and you continued to stare at yourself with a blank expression, the only evidence of your sadness and anger were the tears streaming down your cheeks.

"Y/n did you hear me? You’ve been in there for a while. If you don’t want to go for a walk just tell me, yeah?"

Namjoon walked into the bedroom spotting your half-naked figure, your back facing him.

"Wow," he whispered. To him you were a goddess. It was only when he looked at your reflection that he saw your face stained with with tears. "Baby?"

Namjoon’s voice broke you out of your trance and you shot your head round, eyes wide. He hurriedly walked over to you and pulled you into his embrace, without giving you a second to resist.

"Y/n, what’s wrong?"

You tried to speak but words would only come out as sobs. Sobs escalated into wails and Namjoon tightened his arms around you. He knew not to press questions until you were ready to speak.

You felt like you had betrayed your boyfriend. Along with BTS, he has been preaching the message of loving yourself, and you were doing the opposite.

"I’m so sorry, Namjoon," you choked out.

"For what?"

You couldn’t speak.

"Come here."

He pulled you towards the bed and laid you down. He covered you with a blanket and laid down beside you, facing you.

"I can’t," you finally said.

Namjoon couldn’t bear how defeated you sounded. He’d never felt so scared and worried—what could possibly be going on in your mind.

"What, baby?" he said soothingly.

"I can’t love myself," you whispered, hoping he wouldn’t have heard. 

But he did. He didn’t know how to feel. On one hand he was relieved you weren’t thinking anything worse, but on the other hand, this was still serious and he was saddened. He loved you for you, truly, he just couldn’t understand how you can’t see what he can—a beautiful human being.

"Tell me," he said.

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at him, confusion painting your face.

"Show me what stops you from loving yourself." His voice was stern but soft.

"My face," you replied after a pause, "I hate it. I hate the breakouts that I get." Tears started to form again, but you wiped them away, determined to carry on. "My thighs, my…bum, I don’t know how you can’t see the cellulite, the stretchmarks."

You were frustrated now. You needed him to understand. But you never knew what your goal was. You didn’t want him to hate you too, but you didn’t want him to spout words that contradicted what you said.

"Baby…" he almost sounded disappointed. He brought his hands up and cupped your face. "You need to know that no matter ow many blemishes you have on your face, your still the person I feel in love with. Every morning I wake up next to you, I’m only going to love you more."

He leaned in and pecked every inch of your face whispering sweet nothings. "Gorgeous", "beautiful", "I love you". Every time those words were spoken, you felt a fire light inside of you. You closed your eyes savouring the feeling of Namjoon’s lips on your skin. You felt his hands pull back the blanket, slowly feathering down your side and stopping at your sides. You opened your eyes looking down in slight panic.

"Y/n, calm down." He noticed how tense you’d become. "Just watch and listen." Namjoon gently and slowly dragged his fingertips over your thighs, over your lightning strike stretchmarks. He loved them, and he made sure to tell you that. "Do you need me to kiss your thighs too?" he asked, a cheeky expression plastered on his face.

You blushed not knowing what to say, and the lack of an answer only tempted Namjoon more. He edged down the bed with a smirk, positioning over your thighs keeping you on your side. He did the same that he did with your face. Whispering the same words, his lips brushing over your thighs, you couldn’t help but tense up at the feeling, your heart fluttering, squeezing your eyes shut. 

He stopped, but nudged the skin with his nose whispering, "f*cking beautiful."

You blushed intensely at his cussing, breathing heavily.

"So I was thinking," he continued, "we forget the walk," you giggled, finally smiling, "and I show you how much love I have for you." He crawled above you and you moved onto your back. Looking into your eyes he whispered again, "blemishes, cellulite, stretchmarks…all I see is perfection, the perfect package…and I mean that. I love you."

You smiled, in awe of his words, saying the same three words back. He placed his lips on yours, the kiss getting passionate in a matter of seconds while you wrap your arms around his neck. 

That night, Namjoon made you feel so loved, you deserved it all. You that it was the beginning of learning to love yourself, but you were grateful for Namjoon being with you every step of the way.