Sight Unseen

Chapter 8

"So, guys, I wanted to show you some really great recipes for what I am calling 'The Rainbow Eating Plan,'" Luna told her YouTube viewers. "Listen, you guys know I am not into dieting. You know a girl's gotta eat! That's a motto I live by, but sometimes you might be looking to drop a couple of pounds, and I want to make sure you guys are being healthy about it. So, here we go," she said into the camera.

"I'm gonna show you guys some healthy smoothies that you can drink to replace one meal a day. Remember, I said ONE meal, not all of them. We're not doing some juice cleanse or something like that," she continued.

In front of her were several one-serving blenders filled with fruits and veggies. "So, listen, you need to eat colorful food because the substances that make our food pretty also help our bodies. So, we're gonna make a series of colorful smoothies that are gorgeous and great for you," she said as she winked at the camera.

Ugh! The wink was too much, she self-scolded. Oh, well, I'll edit that out, she thought. "Let's start with our red smoothie. This one has beets and pomegranate juice. We're gonna give this a little buzz." She turned on the first blender and ran it for several seconds. She poured the thick bright red liquid into a glass. "Now, moving on, we have our green smoothie. This is spinach and apples with a little bit of apple juice to get it blending," she said. "And guys, if you don't like spinach, you could use avocado, kale, green beans --- literally anything green --- except for like green Skittles or something. Don't do that, guys," she joked.

"This next one is one of my favorites. It's the orange smoothie. I've got carrots and mango in here with a little water. In the fall, you could swap it out for canned pumpkin and apples. You could put some pumpkin pie spice in there," she said with a smile. "And guys, this one is a stunner. We've got the purple smoothie with taro and plum. The color of this one is out of this world," she added. "And to any of these smoothies, you could add flax seed, collagen powder, or chia seeds. That just ups the nutritional value. What I want you to remember is that your body needs real food. So, don't allow yourself to be hungry. If you're hungry, you're doing it wrong," she advised before signing off.

"So, guys, I hope you try these smoothies! Let me know in the comments what you think," she concluded.

She turned off the camera and looked at Yeonjun who had watched her videotaping from the beginning. He gave her a thumbs up. He picked up the red smoothie and gave it a taste. "Mm, I taste the pomegranate juice even more than the beets, which I appreciate," he commented.

The red mixture had tinted his lips a lovely crimson shade. "Mm, you're so sexy when you eat," Luna said as she kissed his scarlet-stained lips. He pressed her against the kitchen island. Then in one motion, he lifted her and plopped her down gently on the marble top of the island.

"Luna," he said as he kissed up and down her neck.

"Mm?" she encouraged him to go on.

"Do you love me?" he asked, stopping his kisses, but leaving his head tucked between her neck and shoulder.

"Where did that come from?" she asked, pushing him back a bit so she could see him.

"I don't know. I just feel like I need to know if we have a future or not," Yeonjun said. "Maybe my self-doubt is raging again, but I feel insecure. I know you said you don't want to 'lock anything down' but don't I have a right to know if you are serious about us or not?" he questioned.

"Fair enough," Luna replied. "I'm not one who likes to say too much too soon," she admitted. "I've been burned before by trying to hold onto someone who wasn't mine," she added.

"That's what I'm saying," Yeonjun replied. "I feel like I'm trying to hold onto you, and you haven't said if you are all in or not," he admitted.

She pulled his face closer to hers. "Well, this eagle is sitting in your nest right now," she replied. "Isn't that good enough? I'm here now. Do we have to vow anything for the future?" she questioned.

Yeonjun looked a bit dejected. "Yeah, I guess that's enough," he answered. He decided he would take what he could get when it came to Luna. She was a free spirit, after all. But still, he had hoped to hear a more resounding yes to his question about whether she loved him.

Just then, Luna's phone buzzed. She picked it up and the smile suddenly faded from her face.

"What's wrong?" Yeonjun asked, trying to read what the frown lines between her eyebrows meant.

Luna exhaled loudly. "I just got a notification on my phone that today is the anniversary of the day Carly died," she answered. "So, it was two years ago today," she added. "I can't believe it's been two years. It feels like it was yesterday to me," she admitted. "There's something ---," she paused as she attempted to swallow down the lump in her throat. "There's something," she began again, "about this grief that just won't let me go," Luna observed.

"It sounds like you don't have closure," Yeonjun surmised.

"Yeah," Luna agreed. "And also, I feel a lot of guilt for not having called the authorities earlier. I was just laid back about it, and all the while, Carly's body was lying in the woods," she said as a violent sob sent her bending over at the waste. Yeonjun lifted her off of the prep island and led her to the couch.

"What do you think would bring you closure?" Yeonjun asked as he stroked her silky brown hair. The gray highlights were growing out, and Yeonjun wondered silently if she wanted to get them re-done.

Luna sighed. "I don't know for sure. I've thought of going back there to the spot where they found her. I was never able to do that. I took another route to class for the rest of my senior year. I never could bring myself to pass by that wooded area where she was killed," she said before breaking down in sobs.

"Do you think that going back there will help you or just re-traumatize you?" Yeonjun asked.

"I don't know," Luna answered honestly. "I heard that Prince Harry went back to the very spot in the tunnel where his mother, Diana, died. He didn't find it helpful. He just felt worse after doing that. But I have another friend who went to the site of a traumatic incident and felt much better. He called it a 'journey of reclamation'. So, I guess it could go either way," she admitted.

"Well, if you decide to go, count me in," Yeonjun offered. "I want to be with you no matter how it plays out."

"I appreciate that," Luna replied. "I feel like, when it happened, I was in finals week, and I had so much going on that I sort of pushed the grief aside. I didn't allow myself to grieve at the time. So, all of that pain has just been trapped in my body all this time. I've heard that if you don't deal with something, it always comes back around until you take the time to process it," she added.

"That sounds about right," Yeonjun replied. "Well, we are going on break in a couple of weeks. I could go with you if you decide you want to go back there."

"I don't know," Luna hedged. "I'll think about it," she promised.