Sight Unseen

Chapter 10

            "Are you sure about this?" Yeonjun asked as his eyes flitted back and forth fretfully.

"What could possibly go wrong?" Luna asked with a piquant grin.

"Well, we could get caught," Yeonjun replied.

"So what? What are they going to do? Kick us out of the hotel? I doubt it. They want our money too much. The worst we could get is a scolding," she replied as she put one foot into a section of the chain-link fence. With one more foothold, she managed to scale the fence.

"So, I guess we're doing this," Yeonjun said ruefully. He followed Luna's example and made it safely over the fence. The hotel pool was not large, but at midnight it was at least unoccupied.

"Apparently, you're feeling better," Yeonjun said as he watched Luna peal off her shirt and shorts. She jumped immediately into the heated pool in just her bra and panties.

"When in Rome," Yeonjun said with a shrug of his shoulders as he took off his shirt and pants as well. He jumped in after Luna.

"You know this is insane, right?" he groused good-naturedly.

"Your insanity is my joie de vivre," she replied with a mischievous grin. Turning serious for a moment, Luna said, "When I lost Carly, my first response was self-protection. I never wanted to be in danger or to take a risk again. But I think Carly wouldn't want that for me. She wants me to take reasonable chances, to really live fully."

"Yeah, I would imagine you're right," Yeonjun agreed. "These past few days have been hard, but it was kind of nice to have a break from my schedule. Just having some downtime has made such a big difference for me," he admitted. "I really needed this trip too."

"You've got to start taking care of yourself. This body is the only one you get. You can't abuse it and expect that there won't be consequences," she scolded. "When we get back to Korea, I don't want to hear about you crash dieting anymore," she warned him.

He held up his right hand in a silent solemn vow. "No more crash diets," he promised. "From now on, I'm just going to do that real food eating plan, the one where you just don't eat anything that doesn't qualify as food, like all those ingredients you can't pronounce."

"Ah, the young grasshopper has learned his lesson," Luna joked.

"For real, though," Yeonjun said as he pulled her against his chest, "you've helped me to really --- not just accept my body, but to love it."

"Are you still doing your affirmations?" Luna asked.

"Of course, every day," he replied. "I stand in front of the mirror and cross my arms over my chest and tap my shoulders alternately, and I say things like, 'You are enough and never too much'."

"Oo, that's a good one," Luna praised. "I'll have to try that one. I'm currently tapping in the affirmation, 'My body does its job well'."

"Do you think that tapping really makes a difference?" Yeonjun questioned.

"For sure," Luna replied. "The tapping on both sides of your body allows you to process the information in both sides of your brain, the left side which is more about logic and reasoning and the right side which is more about sensation and feelings. So, the tapping engages both sides as you repeat the affirmation. When I'm feeling really stressed, I lie down on my side and cover my whole body, even my head, and then I tap the top of my head slowly and tell myself, 'You are loved, and you are received'."

"Do you really feel insecure about that?" Yeonjun asked. "I'm not sure how many more ways I can tell you that I love you and I want you to be a part of my life forever," he continued. He pulled her tighter with his right arm and began tapping her head with his left hand. "I love you. I love you. I love you," he repeated as he tapped her head. "Is it working?" he asked. "Am I tapping this message in there?"

"You're silly," Luna teased. "Of course, it's working. Look, I never doubted your sincerity. It's just that I've gone all in too fast before and gotten really hurt. Somehow, I thought if I maintained the option of running away, I would be safer. But always being on the run has its own drawbacks. Loneliness is one of them," she admitted.

Yeonjun kissed her softly at first, but soon he was desperately kissing her neck and her collarbones, wet with chlorinated water. He sucked gently on her earlobes before returning to her mouth. He moved her until her back was against the side of the pool, and he pressed himself against her urgently. "There's so much I want to do with you, but I'm afraid you aren't committed for the long haul. I know you don't want me to hold you back, but I feel uneasy in the relationship if I don't know that it's your intention to stay with me," he explained.

"Well, as it turns out, I've taken a bit of a liking to you," Luna replied. "Who knew I would fall this hard?" she asked.

"So, what are you saying? Are you saying that we're going to plan on staying together?" he asked expectantly.

Luna didn't respond at first, but merely ran her hand over his wet hair. "You know I'm all about the eagle metaphor," she began. "So, my thought was that an eagle is independent and can fly off at any moment, but I did some digging on eagles and found out some interesting facts," she added as she planted little kisses on his jaw.

"Yeah?" he whispered, his breath coming in short pants. "I don't want to hold you down, but I can't stand the thought of losing you," he admitted.

"Well, see the interesting thing about eagles is that they are monogamous. They mate with the same eagle for life. So, they always come back to the same nest, year after year," she explained. "I think I could sign on to that kind of thing. I mean, it feels safe enough to think of coming back to the same nest no matter where I end up going."

Yeonjun laughed. "Thank God! Because I was starting to hate that eagle metaphor! I mean, I got the part about us being majestic creatures and not pigs, but I was getting a little tired of hearing about how you didn't want to commit to this relationship," he explained.

"Well, it turns out all I needed to do was to do some more research on eagles and on you," she replied.

"On me?" Yeonjun asked. "What was your research on me?"

"I just needed to observe you in your natural habitat for a while to see how you respond to different situations," she told him.

"Oh, so we're sticking with this metaphor until the bitter end?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Well, anything worth doing is worth over-doing," she assured him. "So, let me stick with my metaphor. I feel safe in my metaphors," Luna added.

"I'll allow the eagle metaphors," Yeonjun said, "as long as I get to have my own metaphor."

"And what metaphor do you want to use?" Luna asked.

"A snowflake," Yeonjun answered simply.

"Okay, why a snowflake?" she asked.

"Think about it. Every snowflake is totally unique from every other snowflake that has ever fallen. If it falls against a window, you will see all of its uniqueness, but it will go out in a blaze of glory. If it has any hope of lasting longer, it needs to be close to other snowflakes. If you make a snowball, the snowflake in the middle will be the one that lasts the longest. We're totally unique and precious, but we are interdependent. We need each other," he concluded.

"You've thought about this metaphor a lot, haven't you?" Luna asked as she stroked his wet cheek.

"Well, since you are so into metaphors, I had to find one that would convince you that we are better together," he answered.

"And so we are," Luna replied, kissing him without holding back any part of herself.