MCR Imagines and Oneshots II

♡Sweet Little Nothings | G.W.

There was something different in the air that turned everything different on days like that—maybe it was my brain playing pranks on me, but even breathing is a little difficult and I just can’t keep up with everyone else’s good humor. Ray already knew that, offering me a gentle smile when I opened the door to the band room and stood in the doorway for a little, shaking the excessive water off the umbrella so I could leave it on the rack along with the other ones. My bag and my coat also got wet, though not too much, but nothing that some time hanging from the empty chair in the corner wouldn’t solve until it was time to leave.

“So,” I exhaled, moving to grab the free guitar from the corner, “I— Good afternoon, I mean. What you playing today?”

Gerard cleaned his throat, his hand that wasn’t busy holding a plastic bottle of water skipping through the pages of his messy notebook. “Practicing Venom, Skylines and Sorrows for today. Sorry for calling you again and at the last moment, but these songs really need something else with the guitars to make it work, and since Frank isn’t here all the time...”

“You should make part of the band already,” Mikey commented with a cough and fixing his glasses. He was almost out of my sight, somewhere still enough to see his slender figure holding his bass with all the power and plenitude in the world.

“You know I wouldn’t work for that.” I blinked, stepping back to the amp and pedals to check if everything was at least minimally fixed. “You know that. And taking Frank’s place wouldn’t be nice.”

Ray hummed, ducking his head. “A band can work with three guitars.”

“It works better with a drummer as well.” I pressed my lips together for a moment. That sounded unnecessarily rude. “I’ll tell you if that friend of mine is available.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Gerard nodded. “But do think about our offer.”

I remained in silence because as much as they knew me a lot, there were layers of myself I would like to keep to myself for as long as possible. Playing with them was fun and I was good at it, but it worked for me only as long as it was exactly that—for fun. The moment it turned into something serious, a responsibility, my brain would collapse, and I didn’t want Gerard to see me in such a state. And why him? Well, Gerard was... Gerard.

Some words were shared before the first distorted notes started echoing through the room, primarily coming from Ray’s guitar, soon followed by Mikey’s bass then my own guitar’s.

They weren’t not changing much on the song’s structure that day—they only did that when I wasn’t playing so Frank could keep up with everything and also share his ideas—, so it was swift. Witnessing everything coming together into something beautiful just out of their minds brought me some sort of comfort along with a warm sparkle in my chest that did intensify whenever my eyes lingered over Gerard. Each of his movements carried such a dedication that spreads to everyone else, though not at the same level. It was like his life depended on it; a free fall he dared to take, but kept taking false steps around the edge of the cliff. Of course, he’d eventually fall into it; My Chemical Romance would turn into something great even if he didn’t see it yet. And I wished I’d be there for them.

The last note of Skylines echoed through the room, followed by cheers and claps of high-fives before we were setting our instruments aside and reaching for bottles of water or stepping outside. I mean, only I went outside at first, just to soon be followed by Gerard, who’d have a cig between his middle and pointer fingers already if it weren’t for the warnings he received from everyone. You could notice how the lack of it bothered him by the way he took an irregular deep breath, not knowing what to do with his hands until he finally tucked them behind his back then leaned against the wall.

Just his presence was enough to make my chest warmer, something extremely unusual. Sometimes I wished Gerard wouldn’t always be so sympathetic and attract everyone—otherwise, I would be clinging to his side already despite how humiliating and out of character it would look for me—instead, no, I had to keep this one–foot distance from him with a repressed awkwardness just so no one would know what was going on between us in case they walked out. Not like his whole family and Frank didn’t witness us coming out of his bedroom the morning after the halloween party at his house, both of us with messy hair and necks covered in purple marks.

“Maybe we shouldn’t be together anymore,” Gerard mumbled, voice merely louder than the sound of the rain soaking the ground. The back door of the band practice room opened to a beautiful space, with a little clearing before the woods took over.

The words hit me like thunder struck something over the hills, flashing a white light before everything for less than a second. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to react. Not in front of him. Was he crazy?

“Explain.” I deserved an explanation, after so long longing for him.

“I...” He breathed, and fell silent for a moment. I wondered what was going on through his head. He was a difficult person to read. “Things are weird. It’s good for you, but I don’t know whether it’s good for me or not.”

“Why would it be bad for you?” The words escaped my lips before I could even think about it as my eyebrows knitted together. This couldn’t be happening.

Gerard didn’t answer immediately—of course, there was tension and doubt lingering his words and his movements, as small as they were, because there was no reason for him to dismiss me like this after everything that had happened. It wasn’t just about him sleeping with me, it went further to paying for my lunch, holding my hand, keeping my clothes. Something else laced his thoughts, and it probably was the goddamn insecurity again whispering bitter nothings in his mind.

“Don’t think things like that,” I breathed in defeat. “Give it longer. We don’t have to rush anything or compromise with anything yet. It’s just... us, and maybe we should enjoy it while it lasts.”

There was no answer. Only the sound of the rain falling heavier over the roof above us and against the ground filled our ears before a cold breeze hit us. I wanted to go inside, but it wasn’t an option while things still weren’t solved with Gerard, even if I hopelessly believed it all ended there, making something bitter and sharp twist in my chest. It didn’t last long though—neither did the cold—, with Gerard’s warm and soft lips suddenly meeting mine for a peace–making kiss.