Don't Let Me Drown (Oli Sykes Fan Fic) COMPLETE

CROSSING THE LINE

A round of shots were brought over on a tray and delivered to us at the barrier and we all threw them back. I already felt tipsy, but I knew the dancing would help keep it from getting too bad. Skrillex's set was amazing with so many of his own songs remixed in with lots of old and new chart hits too. I was singing along and dancing away when Skrillex pointed up at us in the VIP. It seemed like he was pointing at me but I assumed he was pointing at Oli since he was beside me. I looked over at Oli, then back at Skrillex and he was still pointing and nodding, then motioned to go down to his decks. I looked around again and this time pointed at myself and he nodded and did the motion with his hand again. The others had now cottoned on and were cheering and shoving me even though I hadn't quite registered what was happening. Holy. Mother. Of. God.

I headed to the staircase that led to the stage in complete disbelief and headed down to his decks. He handed me a pair of headphones and told me to hit the red button at the drop. I realised the music of 'Angst' by Nero had started - the song that I had requested from him earlier. I was so excited I could have literally wet myself. I danced around with Skrillex and waited for the drop having an absolute blast. The build up seemed to take forever, but I was loving being there and seeing the sea of people pulsating below me. It reminded me of being side of stage for Green Day at Reading festival. When the drop finally arrived, I hit the red button which released a huge puff of smoke and I squealed in absolute delight. I was dancing on that platform with Skrillex and I felt like I was in a dream. I looked up at the others and they were all beaming at me, smiling and laughing at me having so much fun. Oli was videoing on his phone and as usual Tom was snapping away, but I loved it. This was literally what dreams were made of.

Skrillex signalled me up to the decks and showed me how to use some of the buttons and sliders, so at one point, he was just dancing around at the back of the stage and I was literally manning the booth. "Joy, everybody!" he screamed into his mic as though he was introducing me. I was surprised at how loud the crowd cheered, I mean, I was a nobody! I felt like a fucking celebrity, lol. Skrillex had his phone aimed at me, so I waved and stuck out my tongue; totally lost in the moment. Here I was, on his decks on my own, half-assed DJing in front of thousands of people, including Oli and Skrillex, who were both videoing me. What the actual hell? A week ago I was a homebody; bored and lonely and feeling like absolute crap. The others up in the VIP were singing and clapping and I think at that moment, I realised it was literally the best night of my entire life. Everything that happened that day was amazing.

I asked Skrillex if he could play a song for me when he came back over to his decks and after playing with his laptop for a moment, he gave me the thumbs up. I looked up at Oli and he beamed at me with the biggest smile. Jesus, that smile... he could almost kill someone with it, I swear. Knowing what was about to happen, I made a heart with my hands and held it up over my chest to show him. I could already hear Skrillex starting to mesh my requested Bring Me The Horizon song into the beat and it wasn't long before the others started figuring it out. Oli's eyes grew wide and he put his hand over his face momentarily in fake embarrassment. He looked back down at me seconds later and made the same heart with his hands back at me. I guess he figured it out what song it was. God he was cute. Wait, what? The song in question was obvious to everyone by that point, even though it was getting mixed around and as it got to the line that everybody knew, I screamed it out as loud as possible: "CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART." The crowd sang it, Skrillex sang it, even Oli sang it. That was epic.

Once the music had moved onto something else, I hugged Skrillex and headed back up to the VIP area. I think I'd had my fifteen minutes of fame. "Holy shit, Joy, that was so amazing!" the girls were all screaming as they ran over to meet me at the top of the stairs with another glowing blue shot. I couldn't stop smiling as I threw it back. "You just fucking DJ'd with Skrillex!" Micky said with a look of amazement. I just kept smiling.
"I need to go and get another drink!" I exclaimed, heading past everyone to the bar. I ordered a vodka and tonic and exhaled heavily once I was with my thoughts. "That. Was. Sick." Oli said dramatically as he appeared beside me at the bar. I just laughed.
"What the hell even just happened?" I asked jokingly, still in disbelief. "Did you like my song choice?" I asked as I started sipping on my vodka. He laughed.
"To be honest, I was just impressed that you knew all the words." he quipped, grinning.
"Well... I'll let you in on a little secret..." I said, taking another large sip of my drink. "I love the lyrics in that song. I totally relate." I said, looking at him as I drew a long sip of vodka through my straw. He tilted his head questioningly. "I'm scared to get close, I hate being alone, I long for that feeling to not feel at all..." I said. "Like, it's literally my life. I'm terrified of getting close to guys and getting hurt again, but on the other hand I absolutely love love and I hate being alone... so I wish I could just not feel anything because then neither of those things would matter." I explained. He just looked at me. "That's pretty much exactly what I was going for." he said. "Feelings are shit most of the time." he added with a little laugh. God that entire conversation was way too heavy for a fun night out.
"Can I please get four shots of tequila?" I requested from the barman.
"You're doing tequila shots?" Oli asked in amusement.
"No," I replied with a grin. "WE are doing tequila shots." I stated. Oli put his hand over his face, I guess tequila wasn't his drink of choice. I asked for the salt and two wedges of lemon as well. "Give me your hand." I said, peeling it from his face and sprinkling salt on the back of it. "Ready?" I asked. We licked our hands, threw the shots back and then I jammed a wedge of lemon in Oli's mouth, before my own. My eyes started watering from the burn of the tequila and sourness of the lemon. My entire body trembled and I scrunched up my face in disgust. "Ugh. That is fucking brutal!" Oli moaned.
"Yes, and I'm probably going to regret that in about five minutes." I laughed.

We went back over to the barrier and I plonked myself down on the lounge where I could still see Skrillex. Oli sat down beside me and we just sat there watching the crowd downstairs jumping and moving around like a sea. "I'm a bit tipsy." I said as I looked over at him. By this stage he wasn't completely in focus. "Well you did just do three shots in a row." he exclaimed laughing.
"Ssshhhhh..." I said, closing my eyes and leaning over to rest my head on his shoulder to stop it from spinning. "Do you want me to get you some water?" he asked, laughing. I shook my head. I kicked my feet up onto the lounge and slid my head down into Oli's lap. "I promise I'll just be here for 1 minute." I said, my eyes still closed. I felt an overwhelming desire to sleep.

It felt like I was there for hours before I sat back up and I felt incredibly drunk. "Jesus. Did I pass out?" I asked, waking up suddenly. "No," he laughed, "it was like five minutes." he added. 'Phew' I thought. I was sitting there just staring at Oli's neck tattoos that were peeking out the top of his shirt. They intrigued me, but I'd never really looked at them so closely. In my drunken state, I manoeuvred myself in front of him so I could look at them and in my very unreserved state, I started unbuttoning his shirt. LOL. I only undid the top 2 buttons so I could see what the floral pattern I could see turned into under his collar, but I guess it was pretty inappropriate. He didn't seem to care though. "Get a room!" Micky yelled as he noticed what I was doing. We both laughed and I stopped fiddling with his shirt. "One day I'm going to get you to tell me about all of them." I said, still staring at his neck. In that moment I had a sudden and overwhelming desire to kiss him. Our faces were so close together, his eyes were burning into mine, I could smell his cologne and he was smiling at me. My weakness was a guy with a great smile and his absolutely killed me. The pause had been too long and I was staring at his dilated eyes, even though they were blurry. 'JOY!' I screamed at myself internally, breaking my trance-like stare. I realised that I was walking a dangerous path, as well as leading Oli on and I didn't want to do that. I jumped up from the couch and I almost fell back down into Oli's lap, but I grabbed the railing just in time. I headed to the bathroom and decided that I should focus on watching Skrillex because I was way too drunk to be alone around Oli. 

When I returned to the lounge, I went to the barrier and focused on the stage. 'Fuck' I thought. I'd made things awkward. I had mentioned in conversation a couple of times that I didn't want a relationship, but I felt like I had crossed the line with what had just happened, and now I felt like I needed to explain myself. I couldn't stop thinking about it and it wouldn't be fair for everyone to think that my actions signalled where this friendship was going. "Oli, I really need to talk to you." I said, turning around and speaking before I could even think anything further.
"Sure." he said with a smile. "You wanna go somewhere?" he asked. I felt so guilty all of a sudden. He looked so happy and carefree. My head was spinning and I suddenly felt incredibly sick. I couldn't do it right then and there... we were meant to be having fun. "Uh, let's talk later." I said trying to slow down my mind. I felt rising guilt and I felt very awkward. "Are you OK?" Oli asked with a frown. "Yep, I'll be back." I said to him, excusing myself and heading to the bathroom again. I needed a breather. I locked myself in one of the stalls, put the toilet lid down and sat there. I rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes, trying to stop the room from spinning. 'Fuck Joy, pull yourself together' I said, scolding myself. I felt as though I had a split personality; the drunk, carefree part of me wanted to go straight up to Oli and kiss him then deal with the consequences later, and the other sober part of me was angry at myself for even thinking about it and telling me to stop drinking before I did something stupid. I sat there for what felt like 2 minutes, but in reality was more like 10.

"Joy?" I heard someone yell from outside my stall.
"Yeah?" I yelled back.
"It's Dani! Are you OK?" she asked.
"I'm fine, the room is just spinning and I needed a time out." I said with a laugh. I was such a lightweight. "Are you sure?" she asked. I wondered if she'd seen the awkward 'almost-kiss' or if Oli had said something to her, but I was probably just being paranoid. She insisted on waiting to check I was fine, so I emerged from the stall. "Oh sweetie, you're so wasted." she laughed. She dragged me back into the lounge and I turned down the latest shot that had arrived to the table. "Let's go and dance!" she said, sensing I needed to sweat out some of the alcohol. I didn't mind. My mood went from feeling guilty and like I was going to have to put my serious pants on, to carefree once again.