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this was it, the day I've been dreading for a week. saying goodbye to my friend, my confidant and my lover. if 3 years ago i would have been told i was gonna lose my husband to such reckless violence i would have laughed in your face. but here i am today sitting at his funeral listening to what others had to say about him.
"thank you offset, may God be with you at such hard time. now next to give her speech on her husband, Mrs Giovanni Ball." the pastor said as i arose from my seat. i took the sunglasses that were on my head and placed them over my eyes so people wouldn't see the pain in my eyes.
i walk to the podium where i place my phone on the stand and prepared my speech. no matter how many times ive practiced and perfected saying it, i knew saying it for real wouldn't be the same. this is gonna hurt. i sigh in the microphone as i started my speech.
"hey everyone. first of all i just wanna thank each and everyone of you for attending to show my husband love. he would have been so happy that y'all are coming together just for him. this isn't easy at all. i just don't understand this, i don't know why this happened. Kirshnik always kept to himself, he was unproblematic and loved by many." i say breaking down.
"the world is just filled with too many pure and innocent souls who unfortunately find themselves at the wrong place at the wrong time. ultimately, my husband suffered as a result of that. absolutely selfish that's how im gonna describe the incident. just pure selfishness and evil. i may not understand why this has happened but it brings me so much peace to know that he is no longer suffering and is with God." i say wiping my tears.
"dear Kirshnik, my life is empty now without you in it but i know you're no longer in pain. the nights are the hardest because i look at the empty space in the bed and im reminded of all the moments we shared. however, i have memories that no one can take from me. i know for a fact that when God made us, he made us the perfect soulmates for each other. you were the perfect man. you were a gentleman always so compassionate and kind. your heart was made of gold and you would always comfort me and show your affection. i remember when we used to have our water fights in the house." i say laughing slightly at the memories. "all the pranks we used to pull on each other, all the laughs we shared."
flashback
"vanni man. what you doing i just got my hair retwisted." takeoff said caressing his long locs as if it was going to reverse the fact that his wife had just sprayed him down with a hose inside the house. giovanni laughed at the worried look on her husbands face.
"babe, i love the fact you're concerned that there's water in your hair and not the fact i sprayed the hose inside."
"fuck wrong witchu, i dont give a damn about no water in my house. baby, my hair is the problem." the young man said complaining.
"im sorry baby, come here." his wife giggled, admiring her dramatic husband.
"you are so lucky i love you. fine ass lady." takeoff said smiling at giovanni.
"how you go from cussing me out to loving on me." giovanni cracked up.
"cause you different, i love you 5L through-"
"- the galaxies and back. you used to tell me all the time. it was our little saying." i recalled. i pull the top of my dress down a bit to showcase the tattoo. "that's why i got it tatted on me. even though we said it in our vows, death will never do us part, this isn't a goodbye this is a see you later. you have truly inspired me and everyone around you. i will now forever be rocking sunglasses indoors, i call that the takeoff effect." i say as everyone laughs at my joke.
i get nervous as i am about to say the final piece of my speech.
"even though i have lost you, God made sure i would not be alone i will have somone to comfort me. a daughter like you always wanted but you will not be here to see her grow up." i finally reveal my pregnancy and i glance around looking at the shocked faces. i was 4 and half months pregnant.
"i will love you for all eternities. i will see you again my love once i get to heaven. until we meet again, thank you everything my love." i say finishing my speech. i leave the stage and go back to my seat where i'm greeted by a hug from my sister in law.
"congratulations sis." cardi says kissing my forehead and releasing me from the hug. "you delivered your speech really well. i loved it." cardi says squeezing my hand supportively.
i lay my head on her shoulder and she links arms with me.
"i'm gonna miss him so much." i say shaking my head and biting my lip.
"i know you will and i'm gonna be here every step of the way to support you." she says to me and i smile at her.
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sad ass news, ik i'm late, but damn these 2 months i could not wrap my head around the fact that takeoff died. rest easy legend 🕊️🚀
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