Harry styles headcanons

13- insecurities

Warnings:  fluff, self loathing, hateful words/comments, insecurities, struggle with body image.

You had insecurities, hell everyone did but yours specially drained you to the point of exhaustion. Some days were better than others but just one rude comments could ruin your entire week. Some may call it stupid or even silly but you were sensitive, even to harsh comments. You tried to put up a tough demeanour and act like you had a thick skin but in actuality every word knocked down the steps you were building yourself, the steps where you tried to better your insecurities... the steps that would ultimately come crashing down.

"I honestly give up, fucking bullshit, fucking assholes, bastards absolute fuckturds"

Your words came out in a harsh way as you dropped your bag onto the floor kicking the apartment door shut with the heel of your shoe, your best friend river who sat in his gaming chair turning to look at you "what happened?" He asked placing the Xbox controller down onto the coffee table and removing his headphones as he stood up making his way towards you a concerned look on his features,

River was your best friend since childhood, you both grew up together and lived together, you were besties since birth practically or well that's what you and him joked about at least. He was born in the morning and you were born in the evening- late evening, so you're both the same age but he's slightly older and he being the pain in the ass that he is liked to brag about that. Constantly.

As you paced back and forth he watched on with the same confused yet worried look on his face "I was helping a customer... as you do and then suddenly he got angry at me." You said throwing your arms up into the air in defeat as river raised his brows at you "that's retail for you" he said with a soft chuckle being able to empathise with you completely "he continued to make the issue bigger and then he got my manager and my manager got pissy at me" you said anger on your face "been there done that" he said with an empathetic smile "but you know what? This is the cherry on top seriously- the customer got angry at me because I was helping another customer and he couldn't have the patience to wait! And then he called me a fat bitch!" You yelled on the verge of tears rivers eyes widening "he did not" he said in shock that someone would be so cruel.

"I'm so sorry" he said wrapping his arms around you in a comforting hug as he instinctively swayed the both of you back and forth in a comforting assuring manner "don't let it bother you, you're beautiful inside and out" he said with a soft smile, your anger dispersing at his words. He was truly so soothing, he was your best friend of course but sometimes you felt awful as you didn't want it to seem like you were using him as your personal "therapist" but you knew he was simply doing what friends do. "And my manager wants me to work tomorrow now as well, saying if it happens again I'm losing my job." You whispered "and if that happens then that's okay... you're easily likeable and have a wonderful personality. You'll get another job instantly. I promise. And besides you've got me to help you... and remember, it isn't what you know it's who you know" he said beaming, throwing a playful wink into the mix.

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That next day- well you didn't have high hopes for it and well your assumptions were correct. It was absolute hell. Actually no- it was being dragged through hell by your hair then dragged back into hell then back through the other way. So yes. Hell but burning burning hell. Your manager was up your ass all the time watching your every move and you felt like you were walking on eggshells around him. As you were putting some loafs of bread onto the shelf you heard a commotion but paid no mind to it. "Her!" A sudden yell grabbed your attention as the man whom had an issue with you yesterday was back once again "she's the fat bitch who didn't satisfy my needs yesterday! Her! Slutty bitch" he spat out his words feeling like acid burning into your heart but you kept your cool staring him down "you done?" You asked your manager staring holes into you, but surely he would side with you- correct? "In fact I am not done! You useless pathetic miserable ignorant human being, you're lucky the world has space for you" he said, clearly on something. He wasn't sober. That was for sure.