One Shots

Open and Honest Conversation (3)

A/N: This is a part three for Riley and Julian—the first two being Best Friends and Last Minute Plans. This takes place sometime after those. Enjoy.

"Hey, Riles?" Julian spoke up from his spot on my bed. It was like any other day where one of us goes to the other's house to hang out and do homework.

"What's up?" I asked softly, noticing a nervousness in his voice.

"The guys kind of brought something to my attention, and I thought maybe I should talk to you about it."

"Okay." My thoughts were running a mile a minute, trying to figure out what he was going to say.

"They were asking about me and my...relationship with you. They couldn't get over the fact that we're just friends and are not like secretly hooking up. I was told that quote unquote Riley is totally into you, and you're an idiot for not realizing and asking her out." I slowly nodded my head, still unsure of where he was going with this. "Well, it got me thinking. I, uh, I'm not- I don't think, um...they pointed out that I've never expressed interest in anyone, so they sort of thought that I was most likely pining over you. But like, I don't...get those feelings? I- people always talk about having crushes on people, but I don't think I've ever had a crush..."

"So you're like asexual or something?" I asked, trying to understand.

"No, I don't think so. I mean, sex is fine. I have no problem with it. But I don't like people like that. I don't...I guess I don't have a desire for a girlfriend or boyfriend or anything like that."

Asexuals don't experience sexual attraction, so someone who doesn't have romantic feelings would be "Aromantic? Is that a thing?"

We quickly grabbed my laptop and searched "aromantic" on Google. Clicking on the first article, we began to read through it. I noticed Julian nodding his head as he skimmed the words.

Once we reached the end, he said, "This put it way better than I could explain it. So I guess I'm aromantic."

My heart broke a little bit, knowing he could never love me the way I love him. But I couldn't help but feel happy for him figuring himself out. Crush or not, he's still my best friend, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. "I'm glad you have an explanation for how you feel and for knowing you could trust me with it."

"Of course, I trust you. You know me better than anyone." He threw his arms around me, and I leaned into the hug. The positioning was a little awkward since we were sitting side by side, but that didn't matter at the moment. When he let go, he looked a bit apprehensive. "Were what the guys said true? About you being "into" me?"

I looked down at my hands in my lap and felt my face flush. "I may have a bit of a crush."

"I'm sorry I can't feel the same. If it makes you feel any better, I'd totally date you if I could feel that way."

"It's okay." I smiled genuinely. "No matter what, you're my best friend. That's enough. As long as you're in my life, I'll be okay."

"Such a sap," he replied lightheartedly. "But I love you, too, only as a friend. But I do love you."

Still smiling, I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder. "I know. I do have a question though."

"Shoot."

"You said you're not asexual and you'd date me. Have you ever thought about...I mean, your teammates always thought we were friends with benefits...did you ever want to be?"

"I've thought about it." He sighed. "But one, I didn't know how you'd feel about it. And two, I think I was scared it would change or ruin our friendship." I stayed quiet and thought it over for a minute. I can't be upset because I understand his reasoning. "And now, knowing it'd be more than just sexual attraction on your end, I couldn't do that to you, Riles. That wouldn't be fair."

I wrapped my arms around him and put my head back on his shoulder. It's a nice feeling—knowing that we can be this open and honest with each other without our relationship changing or becoming awkward.

"I'm glad you're my best friend, Jay," I whispered, as if someone else would hear if I spoke any louder.

"And I'm glad you're mine. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Get in more trouble probably," I joked.

He laughed. "That's true. Thank you for keeping me out of trouble," he said half-joking and half-sincere.

I smiled. "You're welcome."