Chapter 31 | Worth Waiting For

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"Come on! Let's make those kicks higher!"

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"Come on! Let's make those kicks higher!"

Oh, I'd like to kick someone.

I glare at my television screen and the annoyingly perky YouTube instructor, heaving and panting, my limbs screaming in pain as I lay on my side and kick one leg in the air as high as it can go. I can only blame myself for not being more consistent with taking care of my body and letting go of Pilates for as long as I did.

Your body changes a lot once you start to hit your mid-twenties. You don't bounce back from sickness as fast as you once did, your joints crack just from simple movements, you get tired more easily, and you burn out a lot faster. It doesn't take too long to realize that if you exercise and move your body daily, then you'll feel years younger both physically and mentally. That you need exercise as a lifestyle and not a hobby because it's very much mandatory now.

So here I am, cursing and grumbling at the Pilates video I willingly put on, trying to remind myself it's for my own good. I'm just months away from turning thirty-two. There's simply no room to be slacking on my physical health.

"You did it!" The woman on my television cheers when the minute of side kicks is done. I groan in relief and flop face-first on my carpet. "Twenty minutes of Pilates has never seemed shorter!"

"Oh, shut up!"

I scowl and grab the remote, turning the television off before she says one more thing that will make me track down her address so I can ring her doorbell, watch her open the door, and punch her in the throat. I'm sure I'll appreciate her one day but today is not that day.

I lay spread eagle on my back, still panting and heaving, staring aimlessly at my ceiling. My breath comes out in short spurts and my face feels like it's on fire. As much as I hate that suffocating feeling after an intense workout, I also appreciate the knowledge I sit with later that I took time to take care of my body and prioritize myself. It feels like the best achievement and the thought brings a reluctant smile to my face.

"Meow." Mao crawls up to me, placing his paws on my chest and sniffing my forehead.

"You're so gross," I inform him, knowing he's here cause he likes the smell of sweat. Boys. "At least you don't smell like puke anymore."

That was a tough hurdle to cross. The prebiotics were only doing so much so I took him to his vet. It turned out it was entirely behavioural, that Mao was acting out on purpose because of all the changes, similar to when I first adopted him. I felt like total shit and immediately took us back to my old apartment. I was grateful that I felt ready for that too. I think bumping into my mother and surviving it gave me the push I needed. The realization that I was starting to implement boundaries successfully.

Since we moved back he's been completely like his old self. More grateful to me, even. I think our brief time away made us both realize we're lucky for what we have and that we need each other now more than ever. We've become even more attached, if possible.

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