Vocal Strain [Piers x Reader]

Chapter Thirty Four

T//W: mentions of abuse, dealing with PTSD, resolving trauma 

        Three days into February, the battle with Raihan had a set date, the 6th. You were three days away from restarting your battling career and it was completely surreal. Ads had been posted online, for anyone that wanted to join the crowd, and Raihan had been posting about it on social media. He had sent you screenshots of specific comments, as well, since they amused him to no ends. 

        But, now it was dark outside, the moon a sliver in the sky while gray clouds brushed over it, giving the planet gentle kisses as they floated by. The air had been changing, not too cold, but far from warm. It was late, so the streets were mostly empty, besides the few stray people and some bars that had gentle music playing, barely intelligible from outside of them. Everything was also damp with dew, giving the streets a sheen from the multiple street lamps. And as the city buildings towered over you, you sat on the steps to your apartment building, only wearing black jeans and Piers' hoodie, which you had yet to return, despite the loss of its smell. 

        Tired lines were very visible under your eyes, though your hood cast a shadow over them, while you sat on the steps, headphones in and playing one of Piers songs. You had briefly considered giving him a call, but it would do you no good. The nightmares were only growing worse, after you had promised to give Leon a call, making your body ache with violent exhaustion. The damp steps underneath you, no doubt, making a wet spot against your skin, while your fingers prodded at your Rotom phone's screen, attempting to distract yourself from the looming thoughts that the night had brought about. 

        You sniffled briefly, still collecting yourself from the second panic attack of the night, your heart still beating hard against your chest and your hair disheveled underneath the hood of your clothes. You couldn't help but wonder if it was always going to be like this, nights filled with sleepless antics and abhorrent crying that would cause you to expunge whatever meals you had eaten that day. With time, your body was growing thin, from the constant loss of whatever you had attempted to digest. 

        Would calling Leon solve it? Was the nightmares caused from the lack of closure that you had managed to receive? You didn't know. But, whenever you were met with the thought of finding out, you would only grow more restless and more afraid. Though, as you sat on the steps, chill air ebbing away at the edges of your skin and raising the hair on your arms, you were so exhausted that thought was tempting. Seeing Leon obviously caused you to freeze, combatting the memories that trailed you in your waking moments and attacked in your dreams. But, you had nothing else to lose, besides more sleep and more meals that you had attempted to digest, much to your body's displeasure. The Chairman was probably asleep, the late night drifting him off into something that you didn't have the ability to partake in. But, if he did happen to answer, you were unsure of what to do, having avoided the contact for so long.

        Your thumb hovered over his contact, having opened the tab out of curiosity, and your heart ached with a dull sense of longing. Once upon a time, you had loved Leon like a brother. Gradually though, you began to fear him, like he was one of the nightmares that was keeping you restless. 

        Despite your better judgement, you pressed on the contact and caught a glimpse of your previous text conversation. Reading over the jokes and the discussions caused a small and pained smile to tug at your lips, leaving the ache inside your heart to grow slightly larger and more painful. It was senseless conversations, pertaining to what you wanted for lunch or teasing each other about how gross the choice of meal was, but it was joyful nonetheless. One of the pictures that was sent between the two of you stuck out like a sore thumb, giving you a glimpse into how you smiled when he was around, how happy you had seemed to be.