Protector || Shane Walsh

Chapter 16

Fake It Til the Sunrise by SAFIA

"Most of the facility is powered down, so you'll have to make do here." Jenner explains to us in the hall of what once was staff housing.

"There's a rec room down the hall the kids might enjoy. Just don't plug in the video games or anything that draws power. And if you shower, go easy on the hot water." he informs us and then leaves us for the night.

We all stand in the hallway,  letting his instructions sink in.

"Hot water?" Glenn asks, a grin forming on his face.

"That's what the good doctor said." I say, smiling with elation.

Glenn high fives me as everyone cheers excitedly and we all hurry off to settle in and get ready for our hot showers.

~

I remove my shirt and jeans and take in my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Pre-virus, I had always kept a fit and trim figure but now I'm more skinny, my bones more visible. I look tired and a little worn but I still look like me.

The only other noticeable difference is that my bangs have grown out enough for me to tuck them behind my ears.

That and my blue-green eyes appear dull.

This girl in the mirror, she has seen some shit..

Especially in the past 48 hours.

I watch as tears start to roll down the face of my reflection.

Slowly, I crumble to the bathroom floor and begin to weep.

I weep for Jim, his kind and gentle soul.

For Amy, youthful and vibrant. If only
I had been quicker, more alert, maybe I could have saved her.

I weep for the horror of the attack on camp.

For the stress and unknowing we experienced out the front of the CDC earlier this evening.

The stress and unknowing I'm still experiencing now, locked inside this foreign place.

I allow myself a few minutes to wallow, before taking some deep breaths to regather myself.

I find myself longing for Willow.

If ever I was sad, she would come and lick the tears from my face and nudge her way onto my lap, warming me with her sunlit soul.

A couple more tears escape at the aching thought of her but I manage to pick myself back up and hop in the shower.

I turn the taps and let the water wash away the remainder of my tears.

And then I let myself enjoy the steady, warm spray of water beating down on my skin.

I fill my hands with the hotel-like body wash provided and lather it all over, massaging and cleaning my body.

It feels transformative, like I'm becoming more myself. My mood starts to improve, this shower making me feel better than the food or wine had.

As they used to whenever I would shower, my thoughts drift off. I think of my group and wonder if they're all enjoying they're showers too.

We really need this rnr right now.

As annoyed as I had been with them at dinner for hating on Shane, I'm glad we all have this opportunity of indulgence. And that we can enjoy it together.

Shane..

He had looked so down after dinner. And he hadn't spoken a word after Glenn called him a 'buzzkill.'