Isabelle Reviews (CLOSED FOR NOW)

The Avallon Chronicles (Fantasy, Adventure)

Review date: January 26, 2023

Author:

FIRST IMPRESSION: 3/5

COVER: 4/5

TITLE: 3/5

The first thing that I want to point out is that I've never heard of this foreign word, "Avallon." So, I had to look it up. It's actually a commune (territorial division) in central-eastern France. My thought then was that it would be related to the country itself. And having to put 'chronicles' which means written records, my first impression would be something like "historical records of France."

I find the color full of movement and suggestion, especially with all the patterns and curves. I find nothing wrong with that and I love the effort. It's all blue and I don't want to judge at once just because my impression of the title doesn't seem to match it.

BLURB: 6/10

The blurb is short and enough. I like the length. I have no problems with the content, except for one paragraph. I felt that there were flaws in terms of technicality. I'm a reviewer and not a proofreader, but I had to be honest and make the author attend to the errors.

    The statement "However, the hole she dug herself turned deeper than what she thought it could be. Having her existence will put her and the people around her to be in peril." must be replaced by "However, the hole she dug herself into deepened more than she thought. Her existence will put her and the people around her in peril."

    "Join the Avallons for their epic adventures and experience the beauty, wonder, and mystery of the world of Enchantria."

    I wasn't also familiar with Enchantria, so I just trusted the author to introduce it to me in the book. The grammar must be fixed as well. Instead, use "Join the Avallons in their epic adventures and experience the beauty, wonder, and mystery of the world of Enchantria."

PLOT: 10/20

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: 13/20

DESCRIPTIONS: 10/15

WRITING STYLE: 8/10

GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION: 7/10

    I noticed how the opening was somehow monotonous and informative. There seems to be no solid and distinctive style as Enchantria is brought into the picture at a stroke. I could see the dedication in the descriptions and it's working for me so far. It's just a little easy. It's not a bad thing or a good thing, but I believe it could be better. I wish that the author could establish a successful and effective writing style to begin with, so it doesn't seem like an information dump. Especially since this is the start, this has to be not accurately fancy, but rather colorful and would tickle with my imagination.

    Anyway, after introducing Enchantria and its classifications and stories in between, the book talks about a character named Varelor expressing his rage to his father for someone being chosen over him. Supposedly, it has to have a conflict or a hook. I sadly can't really find a hook, to be honest. All I can read are exchanges of the main character versus the barbarians fighting for the medallion. It doesn't confuse me or anything. I understood everything without any difficulty. I know that is the goal of the author. But then again, I felt that something was missing.

    I love the ideas though. The design, not so much.

    As I go along, it becomes even more of an information dump. Sometimes, I feel that the narration is dry.

    There's nothing much to say about Varelor for me. It just seems that he's a character going through this and that. And by this and that, I mean, going through whatever happens. There were other characters, sure. But in my opinion, they quite didn't stand out. Although Varelor was depicted to be an angry man in the first chapter, I didn't quite feel the emotion. I didn't feel that carried away. Maybe the only emotion I carried was sadness since I kind of expected so much because of the blurb.

    The next parts improved at some point. This is a good thing, but always make sure the next chapter would be as good or better than the beginning as the readers go alone because "first impressions last."

    But I really suggest not necessarily changing the writing style since authors have their own writing styles. But with that being sad, please don't take it personally and I will never intend to hurt feelings. I'm only here to help and give input. Don't believe that my comments will make you any less of an author.

OVERALL: 64/100

    I don't doubt the level of creativity and artistry. All I'm saying is that the descriptions and writing style will always have the chance to be improved. But overall, I think the story would be way, way better if given considerations and revisions in terms of both technicalities and aesthetics.

    Thank you for trusting me in reviewing your book! <3, Isabelle