Isabelle Reviews (CLOSED FOR NOW)

Working for Love (Romance, Vampire)

Review date: February 18, 2023

Author: AJtheWriter22

FIRST IMPRESSION: 3/5

COVER: 3/5

TITLE: 4/5

The good thing about this title is it gives me a sense of purpose or aim with the word "working" in it. It's literal and doesn't stray from the point. It's not complicated and highfalutin, rather simple in its own best way.

The cover made me look twice, thrice even. The text didn't go well with the blonde hair as it sets a camouflage. I also propose putting the full username of the author so it doesn't look plain and so it could also fully credit the author.

In all my reviews, I mention how I don't push for a change in the title since that's basically the first identity perceived by readers. But what I noticed is that "working" is too plain and low-tech by nature at first impression (mine at the very least). I get that this is a love story, but putting "love" is just kind of overused.

BLURB: 6/10

The blurb actually comes in the two perspectives of the two characters, AKA Alessandria and Damon. Each paragraph houses the story of a character's life. I suggest showing the setting instead, other than just sounding like it was narrating a story and fixing the sentence construction. Also, be mindful of the comma splices (frequent use of commas).

In the first paragraph, it didn't quite attain my sympathy even with the heart disease. The weight of emotions seemed airy to me. And in the second, I felt that there wasn't that much special about Damon. Instead of saying "he is a vampire," try using something deeper and darker as "a cold, bloodsucking predator living among humans for hundreds of years."

Also, I can't seem to spot the struggle or the conflict coming to light. I felt that it was just telling a story between two characters with no concrete plot.

Reading the blurb though, it wasn't matching the story anymore.

PLOT: 13/20

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: 12/20

DESCRIPTION: 14/15

WRITING STYLE: 8/10

GRAMMAR PUNCTUATION: 7/10

I'd understand the content if it was written as a prologue and not a first chapter. One moment they're talking about her mother's medical condition and the next, Em just nonchalantly tells Andi about a job application. I just felt it was quite rushed for the first chapter.

Okay, so first off. I want to start by saying please check the facts first before anything else. Endocarditis is an inflammation of the heart. The heart isn't "infected." Please do the research first so it doesn't mislead anybody.

Next, I'm not a proofreader but rather a reviewer, but I can't help but notice the grammar and punctuation. You use "among" if it pertains to more than two subjects. Another thing I'd like to urge is to fix the commas and know where exactly to place them.

To not interfere with the momentum, please don't say "And then, and then, and then..."

Also, I don't understand exactly why some dialogues are in italicized form while others aren't.

I have to say, though, that the plot is quite common–a woman in need of a job and a man commanding a big, respected enterprise. It gives the poor girl, rich man vibe, only the love interest is apparently a vampire. That's the author's choice, but maybe considering a twist or a deviation would do the book well so as not to make it seem like it was lacking originality.

By the way, I didn't know if I was missing something, but I was questioning two major things. Didn't they first examine if the offer was a scam? And if her sister found an ad, wasn't she skeptical? I was confused all of a sudden, and I hope my feelings are validated.

I also missed the point as to why she isn't alarmed about Damon being a vampire.

She gets the job and talks to her sister again. I found it unrealistic how the main character's sister is so composed and unemotional that she was surrounded by beings that aren't human. The pacing was rather abrupt, so it was difficult to catch everything. And to top it off, there are too many italicized words.

Closing my review of this book, I just have three concerns the author might want to consider. The first would be spicing the plot a little bit (but not to the extent that the author changes the entire plot). Secondly, the author has to make the story more realistic. It may be a fantasy romance, but it has to be believable. And lastly, the pacing could be improved.

And don't forget to do your research!

OVERALL: 70/100

Good intention and crystal clear ambition. A couple of changes would be very useful, therefore potentially paving the way for the evolution of better work.

Thank you for trusting me in reviewing your book! <3, Isabelle