This Time I'll Hang, Close the Door (Kellin Quinn) {Book 1}

Chapter 35. It's Time For Some Help

It's Time For Some Help

Song: The Kill (Bury Me) by 30 Seconds To Mars

Picture: Summer's outfit + Kellin's dude-engagement ring.

~Summer~

My eyes widened. No. That's not true. I know KC… he would never. Although, ever since we broke up before Warped Tour and he got all obsessive, I haven't really known him that well. "What?" I questioned Honor. What? He's dead, did you not just hear hear, I asked myself.

"After teaching my class I went to my mother's house and she was crying. She told me that her best friend's son died today. And her best friend is Nancy, KC's mother. She didn't tell me how though. I didn't believe it, but about twenty minutes ago Mia just called me," Honor explained the best she could. 

I sat on the bed. My knees were too weak. Honor never lies to me. She was telling the truth. But, this can't be… "Tell me more, please," I begged in a whisper. A shaking, frightened whisper. 

"That's all I-I know, Sum. I d-don't know h-how he died o-or how his f-family is, but…" Honor started to cry while I sat still, stunned. 

I hung up and tossed my phone to the end of the bed and rubbed my face. My cheek felt wet and that's when I noticed I started sobbing. 

Kellin eyed me. "Babe, what's going on. Tell me," Kellin worriedly ordered. 

I exhaled. I turned to him. His worried expression fell when he saw my tears. It turned into sadness. "Kellin, its KC. He's…"

----

"Are you okay?" Blu asked me. 

"I'm fine," I whispered back. I wanted to say I'm not fine, please help me. 

"What's wrong?" Sierra questioned. 

"I'm just tired…" I can't take this anymore. 

"Eat up, Summer," my mother politely ordered. 

"I already ate." I'm starving myself. 

"Just let me help," Hailee begged. 

"Go away!" Show me you care enough to stay. 

"Is anything wrong?" Ian wondered. 

"I'm just cold." I wear my long sleeves so you won't see how gross and boney my arms are. 

"Summer, how are you doing?" Carolyn pondered. 

"I'm doing better, I promise." I've never been this bad. 

"You're crying, are you sad?" Kellin asked. 

"No, I'm okay." I want to leave. 

I shook last night's dream out of my head as I put in my earrings. After they were in I looked at myself in the full length mirror. My thinning hair was wavy. My engagement ring matched my jewelry perfectly. My wedges made me three inches taller, making me only two inches shorter than Kellin. My black dress with gold designs felt a little too… tight on me. Like it was too small. "Maybe it's just form fitting," I told myself in a whisper so Kellin wouldn't hear. He was getting dressed himself. "I'm thin enough," I reminded myself. I am. I'm thin enough. 

I'm thin enough…

I walked out of the bathroom connected to my bedroom. Pursie and Buddy were busy play fighting over a stuffed animal that squeaks. Kellin was sitting at the end of the bed putting on his formal shoes over his feet. He looked up at me standing in front of him. He smiled. "You look beautiful," he mumbled to me, standing. His hair was styled up, making him look like a sexy werewolf. I've always been more into werewolf's than vampires myself. He wore the silver cross necklace I gave him under his shirt. His button-up shirt was a light grey color and his tie and jacket were black. My eyes trailed down. His shoes, socks, belt, and pants were all black too. I noticed his thigh gap and frowned at how skinny my fiancé is. 

Scarlett was back at home with Bethany and Mason. I know Mason would take great care of her. Kellin has been on FaceTime constantly ever since we got to LA a day ago. 

It's been six days since he… passed away. Today was the memorial service. 

I looked him in the eye and inhaled. "I don't want to go, Kellin. He committed suicide because he wanted to be with me and I'm with you. It's all my fault and his family is going to blame me," I mumbled. 

Kellin sighed and carefully held me in his arms. He started lightly swaying our bodies back and forth. "Ah, Summer. This isn't your fault at all. It's not like you murdered him or something. You moved on and he didn't. And don't feel bad about going today. You need closure and you need to be there for his family, his friends, and your friends. No one is going to blame you. I'm going and I didn't even know the guy! All I knew was that I wanted him to stop bothering you. KC is at peace now. This is what he wanted. To be at peace. In heaven he will have everything he has ever wanted. He is happy now. Celebrate his life, not greave over it."

I didn't know that KC died from suicide. I called my mom the morning after I heard from Honor and she told me what happened. He hung himself and Mia walked in on it. It was too late though. 

I was nervous about today. Over 300 people would be there, one of them being his ex's fiancé and another being the reason committed suicide in the first place. I honestly think I am why he killed himself. I know he broke up with me then turned obsessive and that in no way did I actually kill him, but I feel terrible. And it's not just a terrible feeling because he is gone.