This Time I'll Hang, Close the Door (Kellin Quinn) {Book 1}

Chapter 42. Princess

A/N: Please read the A/N at the bottom.

Princess

Song: You And Me by Lifehouse

~Summer~

"So, you punched her in the face?!" Kellin questioned again.

I sighed as I locked my car. I grasped his hand and lead the way to the cemetery entrance. "Kellin, it's fine! We've hit each other before," I chuckled. 

"But you've got a cut on your lip! Since when did you and Blu ever fight, anyway?"

"Once a year, maybe. We usually throw a couple punches, yell at each other for being bitches, and then hug because we love each other," I explained. We walked I into the cemetery and over to two big trees. They shaded my dad's and Rick's graves. 

"I still don't see the point in hitting, but whatever." Kellin shook his head. We walked up to the two graves, each having their names and a picture cemented into it. Kellin examined the pictures. "So this is Mr. Parker and Ricky, huh? I see where you get your looks. You look exactly like your dad and brother. Black hair, pink lips, blue-green eyes. Except yours have the orange ring around the pupil."

I nodded. "Yep. And my mom and Sierra look alike. Sometimes it's hard for people to believe I'm related to my mom and sister."

He grunted and sat down, next to my dads grave and the tree the shaded us. I sat in between the two graves. "Kell," I mumbled, pulling my knees to my chest. Kellin sat cross legged. 

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming today. Not just to Cali for my birthday, but with me to the cemetery. It means a lot." Yesterday, today, and tomorrow we have off. So I flew home, so did Blu and River. But tomorrow night we go back on tour. 

He smiled at me and shrugged. "Ah, it's nothing. I didn't have to play today, it's your birthday, you wanted me to come, I wanted to see you, and it's the Fourth of July! Independence Day! I would only want to celebrate that with you."

I giggled. Today I am now twenty-seven. Good God, I'm getting old. Only by mind though. I'm twenty-seven by mind, eighteen at heart, and twenty at body. I stared down at my hands, eyeing the ring. I was blushing and he couldn't see. 

For my birthday, he didn't get my anything. Just what I asked for. Last night, before he flew to LA, he called to ask me what I wanted. I told him nothing from him. He already got me a promise ring, photos to frame around my house, the beautiful letter that is currently on my night stand, and he wrote me a very beautiful song. That's enough from him. 

Plus, I got a lot of stuff today already. My mom got me new shoes, they're leather black high tops that go to the ankle and are covered with little silver spikes. Blu, River, Ian, Zack, Cole, Trent, and Steve all got me a new acoustic guitar. Honor, Willow, Ivy, Libby, Carolyn, and Brenda gave me a ticket that allows me to have a free weekend at a spa with one other person. My sister got me cash, fifty bucks to be precise. For All I Am gave me a new nose stud: a small red diamond, a new lip ring: a black hoop, new belly button ring: black with a Batman charm, and a toe ring, silver. I'm wearing the toe ring now, since I'm in flip flops. From some fans I got happy birthday letters, bracelets, small stuffed animals and other things like that. And from the rest of my family I got either birthday wishes or money. 

I gave Kellin back the engagement ring, but he insisted on me keeping the necklaces and sunglasses. What he's going to do with the engagement ring now, I don't know. 

"Hey," Kellin whispered, gently rubbing my shoulder. I looked up at him. He gently smiled at me. "I love you, you know?"

I nodded. "I know…"

"And someday, I'll prove it by marriage. Someday we'll have kids. Someday we'll grow old together. Someday, right?"

"Right."

He played with the grass near the grave. "Good."

"Why do you ask, Kellin?" I questioned. I was curious. 

He shrugged. "I don't know," His gaze was down at the grass. "I just… like to think about our future. About a wedding, a kid of our own, a house together. I want to give you the best, so I like to think now."

I blushed again. "Kell, that's sweet. I've thought about the future too. Not too far into the future, considering we're taking it slow and all. But I've thought about us moving in with each other. I've thought about us taking care of Scarlett. I've thought about a lot," I murmured. I felt as if I had to keep my voice low, for the others, but loud enough to be heard, for my family. I'm guessing Kellin felt the same. He kept his volume low like mine. I didn't want to be loud and disturb any souls at rest in the cemetery. Some still haven't been able to leave yet, I can feel it. Maybe because they still need closure, or maybe because they still need to say goodbye to someone they loved. So I kept my voice quiet. Only loud enough for my dad and Rick to hear in Heaven and for Kellin to hear next to me. 

"Do you think they would've liked me?" Kellin asked softly. He eyed me nervously. 

I chuckled and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, they would've. I think. I feel like they would. Do you feel like they would?" 

He thought for a second, before saying, "Yes, I think they would have. They would have been protective though, so I have to be extra carful with your heart."

He's right. They would have hunted him down if he hurt me and they knew. But the fact that he feels it too, them connecting with us, that's enough for me. They know I brought him here, what's happened between us, how we feel about each other, and that he's a good guy. Perfect for me. 

"Kellin, you're right. They're here, ya know? All around us, watching over us. Making sure we're okay. Dad and Rick are listening. Or at least I feel like they are. Do you ever feel like that?" I rambled. I felt a bit bad since I was getting so spiritual and creepy. 

He snorted and chuckled. "Do I? Hell yeah! All the time. I feel it right now. I feel it on the stage. I can feel my dead relatives watch over me and guide me when I sing or something. My family is all around me, all the time. They're my guardian angles, watching over me to make sure I don't fuck up."

Wow. "I didn't know you felt that, Kellin. It doesn't make me feel as weird," I confessed. 

"Weird?"

I exhaled. "Yeah. I'm pretty weird. Although you already know that."

"I do! But I like your weirdness, just how you like mine."

I giggled. "Yeah. You are pretty weird. I guess we're just going to have to be weird together."

He laughed and threw his arm around my shoulder, bringing my closer to him. Being around him made me feel so… emotional. He made me happy, excited, nervous, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, and sometimes confused. He knows how to get in and mess with me, and I absolutely love it. I've completely fallen for him. 

How could I not? We're supposed to be together. It doesn't matter if I think I'm too fat or ugly or dramatic for him. It doesn't matter if he's too handsome or talented or wonderful. It doesn't matter if I'm too good for him and vice versa. God wants us to be together. He wouldn't have put our relationship to the test if not. 

God made us meet after nine years of no contact. Why? Because of some stupid summer romance? No, because we both fell in love that summer. Our hearts connected again and led us to one another. After a month and a half of not being together, he told me he loved me, and without remembering our summer years before, I told him I loved him back. It was love at first sight. No, not exactly when I first saw Kellin Quinn standing in front of me, but when I got to know who he really is. 

We've been through so much. His ex having his beautiful daughter, me dealing with anorexia, us dealing with being away, and etc. 

I never figured my life being this way. I had always figured I would grow up with my dad, brother, aunt, and cousin around. I figured I would get over wanting to be in a band and become a nurse or something. I would marry a nice man with a good job. We'd get married, roses surrounding us. Then we would have a baby or two. I wanted one boy and one girl. Our kids would grow up to be wonderful teens, then adults. The boy would be protective of his sister. They would get married to their soul mates, then give me and my husband grandchildren. That's always what I figured.

But that's not what happened at all. 

I have to wake up everyday knowing that physically my dad, Rick, Aunt Jazz, and Jessica aren't with me. I never got over wanting to be a musician. I am in a relationship with a rockstar who is constantly touring. We got engaged, broke up, then got back together. Instead of a child of my own, I have a kind of step daughter. And, Kellin's daughter WILL grow up to be wonderful teen, then adult herself. Her daddy will be very protective. She will someday meet someone, get married, give me a step grandchild…

"Kellin," I sighed happily.

"Yeah?" His arm tightened around me in a comforting way. 

"You know, my future would be nothing without you. You make me feel so… God, I don't even know how to explain it. You were and will always be the one. You make me feel like I'm seventeen again, like there's no such thing as too young. And in reality I'm twenty-seven."

This made him blush. "Thanks Summer. I love you."

"I love you back…" I mumbled. 

I was content with sitting with him quietly. I'm usually not happy on my birthday, or when I come here. Yeah, I act tough, but it hurts inside a lot. But with Kellin here with me, I felt safe. I know I'm not like I was before, and having Kellin here with me only made it better. Last year having Mom with me made it better as well, but not this much. Maybe because last year I brought my mom here for her. This year I brought Kellin for myself… and himself. 

My grandpa was right. Someone came and got me out of my pathetic rut. 

*Flashback* 

"I don't know what to do anymore… I'm lost. Zack keeps telling me the band is going to get big, but I don't think so. And college is so stressful just thinking about. All I want to do is smoke a cigarette or two, but I know Mom will be mad. And to top it all off, Mark broke up with me. I mean, it's not like I'm heartbroken since we only dated for three months, but it was nice having him there, ya know? It's nice to have someone to talk to. Sometimes… I feel like I'm doing life all wrong, ya know? When you two left, I feel like I shouldn't have isolated myself, only letting Aunt Jazz in. I shouldn't have distracted her. Maybe we would have caught the cancer. And I should have given up my dreams in music. I'm no good at singing anyways. I just… for some reason… feel… lost," I sobbed. I was sitting in between my father and brother. The tree didn't help much with protection since it was raining. Rain in the middle of summer, how pleasant. Today was my twentieth birthday. I didn't want a party or anything though. Blu is sick, my family is having a Fourth of July party at Sierra's house, Ian and River are at their homes, and Zack is with his girlfriend. 

I'm all alone. Well, at least I thought I was. I felt a hand on my shoulder. Someone sat down next to me, beside the tree. It was my grandpa. When people usually saw us together, they thought he was a dad since he looks so young. But he's my dad's dad. And he's sixty-three. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly. The rain made my tears only look like raindrops. A shiver ran through me. It wasn't cold outside, only wet. I shivered because I was scared and crying. 

"I thought… you needed a little company on your birthday," he said. His voice was raspy, as always. 

"How'd you find me?" I quizzed. 

Of out of the corner of my eye I saw him shrug. "I knew you'd be here, Princess," was all he said. I miss when he called me Princess. He stopped when I turned sixteen. I thought it was childish, or at least pretended to. This was the first time in four years he called me that. He usually just calls me Darling, but he also calls a lot of people that. 

"But how'd you know?" I pressed, angry that he knew I was sad. 

"I felt it, Summer. I can feel when you're sad. It's grandpa senses." He chuckled and winked at me. 

I looked over at him for the first time since he sat down. He could easily tell I was crying. Not because of tears, those looked like rain drops. He could tell my my red eyes and quivering bottom lip. I just wanted to break down. I've been so depressed lately… I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. 

But never could I let my grandfather know that. 

"Grandpa, I just feel so…"

"Lost?"

I nodded and sniffled. "Yeah. Is this how you felt when Grandma died?" I asked. She had passed away from an illness when I was little. I never got to meet her. 

He thought for a second. "Well Princess, when Ella passed away of course I felt heartbroken. But I had to keep going on with my life. That's what she wanted me to do. I didn't get depressed. Yes, I grieved for a long time, but I could never let myself fall into depression. Ella wouldn't be happy with me if that happened. I just couldn't become sad and hard to be around. I needed my family. And I also wanted to be happy for my grandson and granddaughters. It's a shame that the first time we met was at the funeral, you would have loved Grandma. But once I saw six year old you, eight year old Sierra, and eleven year old Rick, I knew I couldn't be depressed. Not around my beautiful grandkids. Think that was, Summer. Don't become depressed. That's not what Ricky, or your father, would want. And be happy for me, and Mom, and your sister, and your friends. We need you happy."

How could I possibly be happy? After everything I've been through, it doesn't seem likely. Especially now since I'm down. I always figured that events like the ones in my life, death of important family members, a car crash, and all this other shit only happened in books and movies. I was so wrong, and I realized this when I was twelve. When my father and brother lost the battle of life to a flame. 

"Being happy just… isn't in me anymore," I confessed. I can't be happy anymore. It hurts. I'm so tired from hurting so much. I shouldn't be this tired. I wish I wasn't. 

"Summer," Grandpa's hand gently squeezed my shoulder. He has always been a wise, intelligent man. I found this out when he started coming around more often. He became the main male figure in my life. "I know you don't want to be happy. I know you're sad. But, would you want to pass that on to your sister?" Grandpa asked. 

I shook my head. "No…"

"Your mom?"

"No…"

"Blu, Ian, River, Zack, Trent?"

"No," I choked out. 

"Me?"

"No."

"And what about your future?"

"No… wait, what?" I asked. What was he getting at?

"Your future. You could either be happy now and lead a exciting, successful life, or you could go into a deep depression and not be content with being alive," he explained. 

"You think… I don't want to be alive?" I asked. My voice was so quiet. I was surprised he could hear it. 

"Princess, I don't think anything. I just said that you won't want to be the longer you keep living like this. I know you're already on the road to a depressing future."

I scoffed. "That's not true!" I protested. I hugged my knees to my chest and looked at the grass under me. The rain was dying down, so my tears became more visible. 

"Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me you're happy with living right now?" 

I shook my head no. "No, I can't. I'm not. I want my life back, the one I had when I was twelve. Before everything went wrong. But I can't turn back time. Someday I'll be happy, but not today. Or tomorrow. Or soon. But someday."

"I like it when you think this way. Hopefully someday someone will come and make you happier." He pulled his arm away from me and stood to his feet. He has more energy than I do, and I'm twenty years old!

He held out his hand to help me stand to my feet too. I grabbed it and pulled myself up. Once standing he hugged me and we walked back to his car and to a dry area.

I hope he's right… I hope someone new comes around, and stays. 

*End of Flashback*

Finally, I broke our peaceful silence. "You know, I like this. Us just sitting here, talking. Its quiet here, very nice," I mumbled, looking off into the sky. It wasn't raining this time, and I wasn't sad. 

"Me too. Here, it's just you… and me… and all of the people resting around us," Kellin breathed. 

"It's that a song?" I cocked my head to the side, giving him a weird look. 

He blushed. "Maybe. Yeah. But I like the song." Oh, okay. Lets just put song lyrics in our conversation. No biggie.

I giggled and nodded in agreement. "It's a good song. By Lifehouse, right?"

He smiled widely. "Yeah. It makes me think of you."

This made me laugh. "Me? Why?" 

He laughed along with me. He shrugged. "Why do you think? It's a beautiful song and you're a beautiful girl."

I blushed. "Kellin?"

"Yeah?" he chuckled. 

"Thank you. For making me happy and treating me like a princess," I mumbled. My cheeks were red and hot and there was still a little giggle in my voice. 

"You are a princess. And thank you as well. For getting better, for being with me, and for being who you really are." 

I sighed happily. Nothing is better than this. Nothing is better than being with the people you love on your birthday and having your soulmate treat you like a princess. I'm truly lucky to have someone like him to pick me up and make me happy. 

A/N: Hey guys! So updates for my other story, Never Date The Lead Singer, are going to slow down since I'm finishing up this story. There are about 5-7 more chapters left. Also, sorry if there are any big time lapses. 

Also, if you guys like Summer, Kellin, and Vic Fuentes you should go read my one shot about them. I Feel like a lot of you will enjoy it. ;)

Since there will be a sequel, I need a name for it. I thought it would be cool to see if you guys had any. Comment a name for the sequel and I will dedicate the next chapter to you if I pick it! Please relate it to their relationship. Have fun guys! I hope to see some good names for it! <3

~Catt