barbara and me cuddle and watch friends in bed, until barbara ends up passing out around 10. i kiss her neck and leave a note that i'm going out for last minute errands.
i get up out of bed , and quickly head to the 24 hour pharmacy.
i pick up laxatives, and the cashier looks at me sympathetically and pointedly.
i have to wonder if she knows.
i drive home, wearily going in and out of consciousness. my blood sugar must be extremely low, because my eyes can barely stay open, and i feel like i'm dying. the only thing keeping me awake is making sure i get home to barbara.
when i'm finally back, i scurry to the bathroom, open the box , and rip off a piece of the bar of lax, which looks like a chocolate bar. i told myself i wouldn't have too much, but it's hard. i chew slowly, making sure i'm fully aware of what im doing . i rip off another: and another, and finally, one last one. that should do the trick. maybe i'll wake up a few lbs lighter. i finally feel pretty for the first time since college . i always fake my confidence , fake it til you make it, am i right? but it's nice to finally feel it for real. barbara will be able to notice, and maybe my confidence will be able to show up better in my work and teaching, too.
i start cramping up, so i decide it's time to go to bed. at least sleep will take me away from the pain. id rather ignore the bad parts of this stupid disorder.
i get to the bed , and move in next to barbara gently . i wonder if i can hold her in my sleep, but then again, i don't want to wake her. maybe next time .
YOU ARE READING
barlissa abbott elementary ship novel
Romancebarlissa (barbara and melissa) from abbott elementary if they were a couple deals with mental health as all of my books do, but will have fun stuff as well barbara will be helping melissa cope with her struggles mainly, but sometimes melissa will h...
