Stupidly Irresistible

Lola Berry is Insane

My roommate appeared on Saturday morning at precisely 9:37 am. I was at breakfast, turns out my dad had told the headmaster about my eating and they had me on a meal plan, just perfect.

They had given me eggs, avocado, fruit juice, and toast. The eggs were scrumdiddlyumptious to put it simply, they were missing hot sauce though. Choices tend to overwhelm me, so I had to go to a certain part of the kitchen to get my meal. I ate alone. Everyone else seemed to already know someone and the first years had stuck together.

When I arrived back to my room, a very pink girl was occupying the previously blank side of the room. She had not taken any time at all to unpack. Clothes were strewn across the floor, posters and drawings had been tacked up to the wall, her desk surface was no longer visible through piles of lingerie and books, and her bed had a stack of about 15 blankets and pillows on top of it. On top of that stack, lay Lola Berry. 

She was laid on her back, and her feet were adorned in chunky black combat boots up against the wall. She was wearing a pale pink slip dress that had fallen down her pale thighs. Upon closer inspection, the pattern on her dress was dirt and grass stains. Her fishnet-sleeved arms were dangling up in the air and lighting a blunt.

"Oh, hey!" she grinned her elfish features being noticeable even while she was upside down.

"Want some?" she offered the blunt waving it around in front of my face. I thought of my dad, hadn't he sent me here to stop me from pursuing these activities?

"You know you want someee." I grinned, and she grinned. Her almond eyes were lined with dark and smudged eyeliner though the rest of her face appeared to be completely makeup-less. I sat on the bed, my back against the wall her feet were on. She giggled handing it to me.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" Lola was now standing on the edge of her bed reenacting her favorite suicide scene from some book or something.

"Don't kill yourself!!" I shrieked. She fell to the ground making a funky sound. I gasped leaning over the bed, seeing her bony knees bent in an awkward position. 

"No!" I rolled off the bed plopping myself atop her. She started laughing. Her laugh was a mix of giggles and wheezes. Oh god, this was too funny. I couldn't stop laughing. I rolled off her.

"You are a okayyyy?" I prolonged the word.

"Sey-ay" she nodded her head. I gasped.

"Is that Latin?!"

"Oink Oink bitch!" we burst into laughter again.

"Ring ring ring!" I made a phone sign with my hand.

"They're calling you," I whispered, and she gasped.

"Why? What do they want?!" I held a finger up to her lips

"They want to know if you're aliveee." I held my hand up to my ear

"Holy shit? What the fuck is that!?" Lola yelled while pointing at Scarlett

"This is Scarlett, my best friend!" I dropped the imaginary phone and attempted to pick her up but she yelped and ran out the door. I tried not to cry.

About ten minutes later we were laying on the ground again and eating cans of spaghetti O's that she had brought from home.

"Truth or Dare?" I questioned, remembering when the game was the most scandalous thing my 13 year old self could imagine.

"Dare, I'm not a chicken" 

I thought for a moment, remembering the one dare that I could never actually complete.

"I dare you to run outside around the commons, naked." she rolled her eyes before shrugging.

"Everyone's seen it all anywho" I gasped when she actually pulled her slip dress over her head.

"Hasta la vista you little chicken bitch." she saluted me and ran out of the room. I peeked out of the doorway, she was sprinting toward the wall opposite our room, and then just as fast, she was sprinting back and shoving herself in the room past me.

She leaned over onto her knees while gasping for air. I slammed the door.

"Holy shit" I exclaimed, suddenly feeling very juvenile.

"There is an old man out there, really hot dilf, most likely" A dilf? Well, I had to see this.

After making sure that Lola was fully dressed we made a plan to walk to the water fountain to "refill" our water bottles.

Can you imagine my terror when we walked out and I realized that the dilf Lola mentioned was my dad? 

"Hi Dad... I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow?" I said awkwardly hoping that my apparent high wasn't too noticeable.

"Oh, shit! your dad's the dilf?" 

I glanced at Lola while mouthing "Not the time" She winked at me while holding her hand out.

"I'm Amelie's roommate, Lola Berry" I glared at her and she snatched my water bottle out of my hand.

"I'm gonna go fill these up!" she said while walking away. Once she was out of my dad's eyesight, she shimmied her body before winking and walking away. I rolled my eyes before turning to my dad.

"Interesting roommate" he supplied.

"yuuuuppp"

"Do I even want to know what a dilf is....?" he raised an eyebrow.

"No you don't. Let me show you my dorm" I said, turning and continuing trying to swallow the lump in my throat.