When All Lights Go Out I (TFP)

Chapter 5

One Week Later...

Over the week, Azura found herself becoming slowly more comfortable with the autobots. She had not admitted to them that she feels like she had known them way before she ever had met them, nor admitted that being near them gave her a sense of family or belonging like she never had before. She was worried that based on the story regarding the new spark Optimus had to send away to protect from the war that she was that sparkling. No one has come to her and told her that was the case, and she hoped that the sparklings was still somewhere on this planet waiting for one of the autobots to find it. That would really be something she was hoping for.

Though while she might not feel completely comfortable with the autobots, they were going out their way just to make sure she was comfortable. They found a room where she would be the most comfortable, and made sure she could access the shower and bathroom before they began setting it up as a bedroom. It was really nice. The fact they were treating her better than the orphanage ever did was something she ended up crying about every night. Not because she was sad, but because she was overwhelmed.
When she was allowed to get out of the gurney into a wheelchair, she did not really have a lot of areas she could go around the base comfortably without assistence, something that the autobots also had no issue helping her with. Though Azura did find herself nervous a lot whenever they would pick her up with the wheelchair to help her. It was great they wanted to help her, but they were much bigger and stronger than her, and she saw how destructive they can be. Even if the autobots were fighting to protect her, it was still destructive.

As for school, Fowler was able to pull some strings and get her into the local school. And she was given a few weeks to get herself sorted with new books and such, because most were destroyed in her bag in the river. And he gave her a credit card he promised to pay for, something Azura had a bit of issue with as well. Though with it, she did buy new books, several small journals to write in, a sketchbook with different pencils, a paint stand with some canvases and paint, and a recipe book. They were all things that Azura had wanted to own, but never could due to her living situation. She was happy about that, even though it was weird having a credit card she wasn't paying for. It at least helped pay for food.

Azura, Bumblebee and Cliffjumper have become rather fast friends. She had been hanging out primarily with Cliff, but Bee joined in and she clicked with him very quickly. She had been unsure at first, but the two bots were really happy to tell Azura stories and play video games with her. It was Bee's idea to get a game set up for Azura to do something with her, and Fowler had it set up in her room. And while Azura had never played a video game in her life before, the bonding time she has had with the two autobots has been great.

Speaking of bonding, Azura has been uncertain about Optimus. He only comes to speak with her when she is having sometime to herself. Mostly to talk with her, ask her about her life, her likes and dislikes, it has been good. But Azura felt uncertain about Optimus. While he is very polite and he listens intently, especially whenever she ranted a little bit about the orphanage itself, Azura felt the need to keep distanced from him. She was not sure why.

Right now, Azura was listening to some music while she relaxed in her chair as she focused on sketching an image at the desk in her room. Her room was rather nice. It had been dull before, but she had a big, twin bed with a beautiful, floral, quilt cover, white bedside tables, several white dressers and two wardrobes, couch with a widescreen TV and white wooden coffee table, computer with a desk, bookshelf and a full length mirror. On the wall, she had some fairy lights around the room and Azura had picked out some butterfly wall lights which she liked a lot. And it gave her room a sense of this was her room now that she was going to live here.

She heard a knock on the door, something she had appreciated after screaming bloody murder at Bee and scaring the poor bot after he walked into her room when she was trying to change. She apologized profusely to him afterwards, but that was her initial response at the time and now all the autobots knock. And Ratchet had to make sure the door would not open automatically all the time from a presence, now there was a button for them to open.

Azura looked up when she heard the knock. "Yep! Come in!" The door opened and she tensed slightly when she saw Optimus walking in. "Ah, hi." She looked away from him to focus on her drawing. "If you are wondering why I have not come out for the last few hours, I am currently focused on this sketch."

Optimus looked at the book she was holding as he stepped closer to her carefully. He looked himself to the ground to get a closer look. "May I see what you are creating?" Azura put the pencil down and turned it to show him. Optimus looked at it curiously. "Hmm...what exactly am I looking at?"

She smiled at him. "It is a celestial dragon, a mythical creature that is often spoken of through human history." She put the book down to keep sketching. "Although, it is something I have been dreaming about a lot. One of the many things, anyway."

He looked at her curiously when she mentioned she dreams about this creature a lot. "I assume the dreams a good. Otherwise, you would not be drawing it. It looks like a creature with great wisdom and respect."

Azura looked at him with a smile. "Well...yes, they are good. But they are also confusing. I hear some strange voice speaking to me, and I am looking into a mirror...and I am the dragon, for some reason." She looked away from him to keep drawing. "I know the mind can play tricks in the night, but when it is consistent regularly, it really says something else."

The autobot listened to Azura quietly and processed what she had been saying. It definitely was curious to him that she was having a dream with a creature that was meant to be mythical. Though Optimus figured it was not something to think too hard about. "I do not know what dragons are, or how humans see a mythical creature like them, though could there be a reason why you would be seeing yourself as a dragon?"

That was a good question. Azura had to think about it as it was not something she thought about. "Well..." She tapped the pencil on the desk thoughtfully before she looked at Optimus. "Maybe it has a lot to do with my pain." He looked at her intently as soon as she said that. "I have gone through my life wondering what I did wrong to deserve to be left the way I did..." The commander grimaced slightly and intakes heavily, though he did not react too obviously in front of Azura. "I mean...my parents or mother did not even leave me somewhere to be found. I honestly would forgive her if she came from an abusive home and wanted to hide me or protect me...but I know nothing. I have no family history. And I guess..." She looked at the image again as she stared at it. "A part of me wishes I can do something to change that."

Optimus rubbed his fingers against his thumb thoughtfully as he listened to her and processed the words she was saying. They pulled at his spark painfully, but he kept his emotions in check. "I see...so a dragon is seen as strong, wise and someone to look up to, right?" She looked at him and nodded. "Hmm...at least you have us now, Azura." She did not react, only that he saw her visibly tense. "I know the way we met was not how it should have been, but that is something we could not control. But you have us to protect you. And you get to start school next week." She smiled a little, though she seemed worried. "I do believe you won't go through what you did before. Cliff told us how you were run over, and the doctors confirmed the bruises on your back from those bike tyres."

"I'd like to believe...but experience that I have had...I want to hope it will be better." Azura looked at Optimus with a smile. "Did Cybertron have schools at all?" He looked at her in surprise. "I would imagine you would have had some kind of training institution on your planet. I doubt you are born with a lot of knowledge, otherwise that kind of seems unfair."

Optimus smiled at her as her words amused him. "We did have school of a sort. It would not be the same as what you go through. Our schooling lasts much longer. Our lifespans are much longer than that of humans, so we have to learn for many years." He thought back to his time as Orion Pax and his expression softened. "I remember before I was a Prime, my own education was very...well...I was a great student."

Azura stared at Optimus in shock. "Wait...you weren't always Optimus Prime? But...I thought you were." He looked at her with a wider grin. "Unless...being a Prime is more of something you earn than something you born..."

"You are correct, Azura. One is not born into greatness; one must earn it. Even I had to." Optimus could see that Azura was shocked and curious about it at the same time. "That might be a story for another time. When I was much younger, I wasn't as...stoic, I suppose is the right word, as you see before. And this is before I began to work in the Hall of Records at Iacon..." Knowing that Optimus liked literature over other things seemed to relate to Azura, and she immediately listened in. "My studies started like any other Cybertronian. We went through learning about science, technology, our biology, weapnry, literature, math and so on, but when we reach a certain age, we are allowed to pursue certain subjects. I remained in literature and history, especially regarding Primus and our planet's history."

Azura shivered a little as hearing Primus's name seemed to resonate with her as well for some reason. She did not know why, but she did not say anything about what she felt. "Primus? Who or what is that?"

"Primus is the life giver for all Cybertronians," Optimus responded proudly. "Many years ago, he created Cybertron and breathed life into the world as we had known it. Eventually, his spirit left his physical form and became the very core and life of our planet. This happened after defeating Unicron, Primus's brother..." Azura blinked as she suddenly had images of something evil from deep within the Earth show up in her mind, making her frown slightly in confusion. "The Well of Sparks is where the All Spark resides. The All Sparks is something all Cybertronians become one with when we pass, and it is there we witness the release of fallen sparks into the world. Sometimes to be reborn for another life, though that spark has no memory of their previous life."

She listened intently and smiled at him. "Hmm...that actually sounds wonderful. It is too bad you lost your planet. I cannot imagine what that would be like...plus, you probably lost a lot of those you have grown close with and...I bet that must have hurt too. Not just losing...well...you know."

Optimus didn't react much to her other than glancing his optics away briefly. "Yes...there are many things that have happened in my life that I regret. Some things I don't, but most I do. I wish I could go back in time to change things...but I cannot go back, even while I'm a Prime."

She softened her expression at him as she listened. "Well...at least you have a place to call home. I guess I do too. I have been trying to catch up with a few things regarding math and grammar, so I should be right to start a class just fine."

"I guess that is good. You may find this amusing, but Ratchet is learning about human math and such so he can help you with your schoolwork." She stared at Optimus in surprise. "Ratchet is not the type who just does that for anyone, so it was a surprise. However, I am taking a page out of his book so I may assist too."

"Wow...that is so nice." Azura was really in disbelief and frowned slightly. "But I don't get it. If Ratchet doesn't do that kind of thing for anyone, why would he do it for me? As far as I knew, I thought it was going to have to do my homework without help again. I am used to not having help."

"Because we are making up for you being attacked by the decepticons," Optimus responded and she honestly thought that was a lie. "We want you to do well, that isn't terribly hard to believe. I would, I know this is going to sound wrong, however I would suggest that you don't take the crystal with you." Azura looked down at the crystal in surprise and looked back at him with a frown. "I know you don't like being separated from it, however we want to ensure the decepticons won't attack you again. And removing the crystal might help."

Azura certainly was not expecting him to suggest that at all. She placed a hand around the crystal protectively as she didn't know how to feel about that suggestion. "I...didn't think that I should leave it behind...especially with the sentiment that I feel with it."

"I know, and I don't want you to think it is out of maliciousness. We simply want to protect you." She nodded a little as she listened to Optimus, though she still seemed very upset. "And while there is a chance the decepticons could recognize your face, it was during the night they attacked the bus and they may not recognize you as well during the day. Having the crystal remain here in your room might be for the best."

Azura knew that Optimus did not want her to leave the crystal because he was being mean, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt to suggest that. Azura did not allow that show on her face though. She would think about whether she would leave the crystal here or not, and she would make sure that the autobots were not aware if she did take it with her.

"I will...consider your suggestion, Optimus." She looked at him with a slight smile and looked back at the sketchbook before picking up the pencil to keep sketching. "Are any of the others learning about human math and such too?"

"I am afraid not," Optimus responded with a slight smile. "Arcee did consider, but she feels as though having myself and Ratchet learn it will be enough. The other three are not interested, they would prefer to spend time having fun with you than do anything regarding your schoolwork."

Azura wasn't surprised. She hasn't spent much time with Bulkhead yet though, so she wasn't sure if he would end up as a good friend to her yet or not. "I know Bee and Cliff would prefer I play a video game than study...that will be something to deal when I start school so that I don't get behind."

"If they do distract you from your studies too much, let myself or Ratchet know so we will ensure that they don't distract you." He glanced at the drawing again as she continued to draw. "You also have a lot of talent with drawing, Azura. Art was something that used to be popular on Cybertron. Now until we deal with the decepticons and defeat Megatron, it's som that we may never do again."

"I am surprised that art was something you did, though I guess it would be needed for architecture and such," Azura said as she remained focused on sketching the dragon. "Is it something you used to do during your life as Orion Pax?" She turned her head to look at him curiously. "What tools did you use to make art?"

"It might surprise you to learn that I was an excellent artist," Optimus said enthusiastically. "The tools we used was not pen and paper like what you have. It was similar, I suppose. The tools I used did not require technology, though we did have technology capable to be used for art. But I prefer to draw or paint on a canvas. It was a hobby."

"Did you create something specific at all? Or was it always random?" Hearing that Optimus used to do art as a hobby was interesting. "Would you do art again at all? I imagine it would help a lot if you did, because I find when I do art I escape the world for a short time."

"Well, yes, most of my artwork was random pictures," Optimus said with a smile. "Some were with a purpose. I used to create pictures of my friends, and sometimes I used to create predacons." Azura gave him a curious look. "Predacons are ancient Cybertronians that have been extinct for a long time." Azura nodded as she understood and smiled. "My last picture that I made was a picture of...the new spark. After that, I guess I focused on the war to try and take that pain and guilt away."

That surprised her. She wondered what he painted, though she felt like that would be an intrusive question. "Wow...I can see why you would stop. But I do think it would still benefit you. Even if you had something like a sketchbook, I think by drawing something it will relieve some of that buildup of emotion in you."

"I appreciate your words of support and wisdom, Azura," Optimus said in a gentle tone. "And I have definitely considered it. I guess my mind is currently occupied on something else and I am not sure if I would want to create something."

Azura understood and she thought about something else. "What about writing in a journal?" He was immediately confused. "A journal or a diary are books that we use to write our thoughts down. These are private things that people have, but by writing it down, you are essentially letting out your deepest thoughts and feelings. Doing that can also help a lot. But again, it is private, so no one else will see it."

He processed the idea of having a journal and smiled at her. "That does sound like a very intriguing idea, Azura...it is definitely something I had not considered. I may very well do that." He glanced at the bookshelf where she kept her smaller journals. "I guess it was something you had done to try and relieve the stress of being in that orphanage."

Azura nodded. "Yeah...all the kids that were living there had one. We all needed something to vent to, and the journals are always a positive outlet. You probably will find that too. Though I get the impression you have Ratchet for that, but there are probably things in your mind that you don't tell him either."

Optimus did not really say anything about that. He did go to Ratchet when he needed a wise ear to speak to, and Ratchet is one of his oldest friends since the beginning. It made sense he would go to him to speak with. Though it was also true he did not speak to Ratchet about everything. Azura's suggestion sounded like a good idea. Optimus might use that as well, especially at this time.

"It will be something that I will consider. Thank you, Azura." Optimus smile was soft as he looked at her. "I do apologize for bothering you while you are drawing though. But as you didn't come out, would you like me to get you some food? We have managed to master the art of making sandwiches at least."

Azura giggled softly at him. "A ham and cheese sandwich sounds nice to me right now. If you can, I would like that. Otherwise, ask Arcee to make it. Not to be rude, but your hands are..." She glanced at his hands briefly as she spoke. "Well...very big. And I have already seen how a little of your strength can crumble a biscuit."

Optimus seemed embarrassed almost immediately. "I guess you are right." He rubbed the back of his head and stood up slowly, she heard the groan and hiss in his joints as he stood up. "However, I do feel like I should work on that as Arcee won't always be in the base to help. Though Ratchet does a good job too." He glanced at his hands for a moment. "Though I guess you are right."

Azura was amused before she put the book and pencil down. "While you are doing that..." She rolled herself backwards and turned the wheelchair towards the bathroom. "I need to make use of the bathroom anyway. So you can go and get the sandwich while I relieve myself."

"Understood." Optimus turned and walked out of the door. "I will make sure that I do not destroy the food like I had before." She chuckled again as she rolled into the bathroom. "I will be back very shortly."

Optimus left the room, leaving Azura to her thoughts. She was relieved as she was wanting him to leave her alone. However, despite that she was tense almost all the time they talk, she still feels like that they get along just fine. She enjoyed the conversation with him a lot. Especially as it seemed like he had a lot of things relatable about him. He liked writing and art, so did she. And she had no idea he was an archivist before he was a Prime. She was actually happy he told her these things. Mostly because she now wanted to know of there were any Cybertronian stories he could tell her, even if they were about myths. She would very much like that.

 
She was strangely envisioning Optimus sitting in the room by her bed telling her these stories. She actually thought maybe that was too weird now. The idea of him telling her the stories seemed great, but she might ask him to share the stories with her during the day when she was not at school. Though she might change her mind later too. She might even ask Ratchet as she was sure he had plenty of stories to tell given his age.

For now, she focused on completing the sketch she was drawing of the dragon she sees every night after making use of the bathroom. However, the dreams seem to be changing, though she couldn't quite tell how much they were changing. Especially with the voice she hears, telling her to follow. She did not know if she should actually listen and go through with the order. But whoever owned the voice sounded kind, and warm. It makes her want to follow, but she was too scared. Azura waited patiently for Optimus to return with her food while she focused on the drawing and though about different things as well.