Not the End

13 - Battlefield II

TW: Depersonalization is depicted in this chapter 

"We should head back to eat." Neteyam breaks the calm silence in sky overlooking Pandora. I lift my head off his shoulder, turning to check the position of the sun. We have already been up here for hours?

"I should check on my family." I say quietly. A sinking feeling of guilt grows in my chest. He puts his hand on my arms as though he could sense the change in my mood. His ikran turns around rather sharply, I hold on tighter to his torso. We glide quickly back towards the mountains, flying back up to the aerie with the rest of the ikran. I slide down its wing, petting his head. Neteyam leaps off, landing next to me. He puts his hand on the small of my back, I turn to look up at him.

"I am sorry." Is all he says, gingerly taking my hand. He doesn't say anything else, but I know what he means. I lean into him, gently burying my head in his neck, he holds me delicately, like he is afraid I might shatter beneath him. I lift my head to find him looking down at me. "We can keep this at my house." He whispers, touching my visor, which I had completely forgotten about. If he hadn't said anything, my brothers could have seen me wearing it. I take it off, looking at it for a moment before giving it to him. He puts it in his bag, then takes my hand, we head back to camp.

 >><<

Tsahik is tending to my mother when I arrive, no one else is here. She looks at me with somber eyes. "There has been no change." She says softly, looking back at my mother. She is placing different herbs around her on the cot. 

"Have you seen Kata?" I ask after a moment, approaching my mother, taking her hand. It is warm like always, she is breathing steadily as she lays there peacefully sleeping. 

"She left with your brother not long ago." She touches my mother's forehead and closes her eyes, whispering something I cannot hear. I wish she would wake up, so I could tell her everything. 

I lean forward, pulling my mother's hand to my forehead, saying a prayer to Eywa. I don't pray often, I have never felt worthy of asking her of anything but to help us rid our planet of the sky people. This I pray for, whether it is selfish of me, I am unsure, but without my mother, my family will be nothing. I will have my siblings, but what will keep us together? Are we really even together? 

My thoughts are interrupted by footsteps approaching, I turn to see my sister. She kneels next to me, I run my hand over her hair. Neither of us say anything, but we don't have to. She is the only person I don't need to speak to in order to communicate, we don't even have to look at each other. I know what she thinks, how she feels, and she knows me. Right now, I appreciate her more than ever before, Eywa blessed me with Kata as a sister.

We sit with our mother for a while, until Kata gestures for us to go out on the deck. "Kiri came by this morning, she brought us some fish they caught." Her voice is kind and grateful, it seems she believes what I told her about them. 

"That was kind of her." I say with a little smile, despite my mixed feelings on the matter. It was a little strange of Kiri to visit my family when she knows our situation, but she always has good intentions. Maybe she will tell me about it later. 

"She said you two are best friends?" She asks as we sit on the bench, she is still polite, but I sense a hint of skepticism in her question. 

"Yes, we have been close for a few years." I feel my cheeks start to flush with embarrassment. "It is still weird that you know about my secrets now." I sigh and let our a small nervous laugh. "I am sorry I kept so much from you." She bites her lip and looks down at the ground.

"Kiri seems very sweet." She says quietly, I nod in response, watching her feet fidget on the floor. "So..." She hesitates, "You are really, like, one of them? -- The Sully's." She's still looking at the floor. I sigh and look up at the stalactites, a drop of water trickles down the point, falling down to the floor of the cave, traveling to the exit, into the stream, to eventually make its way down to the forest, the rivers, a pond, the sea, and eventually right back here to this cave.