Sturniolo triplets imagines!

Chris - dont leave me baby. - pt. 1

Authors note- This 'story' means a lot to me and what I personally can relate to. If you are someone who struggles with an Eating disorder, I'm so sorry. Please reach out for some sort of help, it will all get better soon. I love you all so much.

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I sat alone in my dark room with music playing softly. I could feel my stomach hurt, desperate for food, but my mind denying. The sharp pains go though my lower stomach as I try to get up to get a glass of water. I felt my eyes drift away as I feel myself get dizzy. I held onto the wall and slowly sat back down. A thousand thoughts go through my head everyday, making me distracted from the pains in my stomach, but right now In this moment, nothing can get my mind away from this pain. Yes, I felt pain in my stomach and head, but I'm not talking about my physical pain. I'm mentally hurting and tired. I feel myself drift off away from the girl I was just only 2 years ago. It felt like yesterday, but it has been more then 730 days. I'm not the girl I remember. I look into the mirror, hoping for new and good results, but I see a weak and hopeless girl. I see a girl who starves herself everyday only relying on water and gum. Most people tell me to go and get help or talk to someone, but what they don't understand is, I have nobody. I have nobody to run to or hug everyday. I have nobody to go home to and ask me how my day went. I'm a 19 year old girl with no parents, no friends, and no boyfriend now. I passed out before numerous times but, this time it was different. I haven't exactly always been on this diet for my full two years.

I met a guy, his name was Chris sturniolo. When I first met him, he seemed like a messed up jock who only gave two shits about himself. But I was wrong. He was one of the sweetest human beings I have ever met. His heart was pure and his mindset was observant. Chris noticed every little thing about anything. He always pointed out the little things in the sky or even in my eyes and that's what I loved most of him. He didn't only notice the stuff the human eye couldn't normally catch, but he could almost sense my feelings. He could sense when I'm sad, or blue. He knew when I didn't feel my greatest or highest. He hugged me when I was sad or even worse and always let me cry on his shoulder when I needed. He had always told me if my heart was too crushed, his heart would always be quick to try and heal my body.

Chris sturniolo had two other identical brothers that loved me just as much as he did. My best friend, Matt sturniolo was the person I loved to talk to. I loved talking to Chris, but with Matt I feel like I could relate to him. Like he understands me more. He never judged me no matter what, and always had my side over anyone's. I knew Matt way before I met his younger brother. Matt had been transferred over to a different school than his brothers in his first 3 elementary years. That gave me just enough time to make friends with the boy, but not enough time to keep in touch. After Matt transferred back to his old school, where his brothers went, I didn't see him for 7 years. I reunited with him in my sophomore year of Highschool. I finally had met his two brothers he bragged about to everyone, and that surely was a blessing. The thing was, everyone always had seen me and Matt, but it wasn't like that. Matt has always been the older brother that I always wanted. Him or I have never looked at each other any different then family, but of course people never understood that. Everyone's mindset and small comments didn't effect our bond though, it only made it stronger.

Nick sturniolo was the funniest brother. I remember once in my junior year, I had got a boyfriend named Zach. He cheated on me, more then once, leaving me heartbroken for the first time. I basically had nobody to lean to, until nick came to my rescue. Nick hugged me tighter than anyone has ever hugged me before and didn't let go. He let me cry and talk about my hurt feelings. He didn't judge me for how emotional I was that day, and I was thankful for that. The next day, I went over to his house and apologized for being so over dramatic and emotional but he just hugged me tight and said, 'sometimes we all need a moment to let it all out.' I'll never forget that sentence, as it means a lot to me.

I wish I could still talk to them how I used to. I wish everything would go back to how it was. But it can't. And I know that. But sometimes when emotions get all over the place, a person can be in denial for a while. This disorder has made everything bad. Sure, it took away my innocence and volubility but I didn't care about that more then my own friends.

When Matt and Nick found out about my Ed, I pushed them away. I convinced myself that they no longer loved hanging out with me and that they felt ashamed around me. They didn't feel any sort of love towards me, they felt guilt and forced themselves to be close to me. I definitely wasn't someone who took others charity. I rather have their real feelings shoved straight in my face, then them being fake the whole time. I like honesty.

But that wasn't honestly. That was just me.

I didn't know how to accept love from them after they found out. I felt disgusted in myself for letting them find out in the first place. I was a selfish self centered bitch who didn't know how to hide her own personal shit, great. I knew that's what most people would say.

Nick and Matt of course, wouldn't meant to find out under no circumstances but when they did I made them swear that they wouldn't tell their younger brother. I knew they wanted to tell him just to protect me but I couldn't live with myself. I didn't want Chris to have to treat me like a baby because of my ED. He had enough on his hands already, he didn't need more distractions.

Turns out, after a few months of having an ED, Matt and Nick indeed kept their promise and never told Chris. I was thankful for that but I knew I wasn't going to get better. I knew he would find out one way or another and I didn't want him to go through any sort of guilt that he's not responsible for.

Before he could find out, I decided to end things with him. The poor boy was so confused and hurt but I didn't want him to go though more. I didn't want him to think any of this was his fault because it wasn't. It was mine and I was aware of that.

Chris deserved the world. He knew how to comfort people at their lowest and definitely knew how to make people laugh anytime. He deserved someone who could do that for him too. I couldn't provide any of those things to him at my mental state. I wanted the best for him and I knew, I wasn't enough to fit that role.

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Present time (a month after the break up.)

My eating disorder got worse after I broke up with Chris. I didn't know how to control it and I noticed I'm starting to get random bruises on my body.

I definitely got skinner, but not a good skinner. I looked almost, sick. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I was still disgusted and unsatisfied.

When Chris was here, he always was by me and would help me without even realizing. He was the perfect boy everyone should have. He deserved more. Deserved more then just a sick girl like me.

I knew I was hurting Chris. 2 months before I broke up with him, I was distant. I wouldn't hug him or kiss him how I usually did. He talked to me about it but I was just shut him out and acted like he was going crazy. It hurt me to see him sad all the time. I was hurt and i was taking it out on him. He didn't deserve any of that and words could never explain how sorry I am. I was selfish and he needed more, but I couldn't give him that.

Breathing got hard for me, I felt pain in my lower stomach and back. I lived alone so nobody knew. Nobody knew how I was doing. I haven't talked to anyone in weeks. My thoughts were interrupted by a call.

IMCOMMING CALL
Chris 💗
Shit. My fingers couldn't press on decline so I accepted the call.
'Hello?' I whispered.
'Y/n....'
'Chris? What's wrong?'
'Y/n why didn't you tell me?'

I didn't know what to say. My mouth got dry, I felt my throat start to close.
He found out.