1 | You're here and it's cold

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January 3rd 2013

It was snowing heavily out, but at this point, I should have been used to the cold. After all, it was constantly seeping in through the shitty windows of my house. No amount of heating would remove the faint chill the winter brought around. I didn't think I'd need anything more than a hoodie when I decided to go on my walk.

Halfway through, I realized why that was a mistake. Snow decorated my hair as I trudged through the sludge, trying not to slip on the occasional patches of ice I'd discover underfoot. I could feel goosebumps rise on my skin. I shivered as the wind hit me in the face. I hadn't been out for long, but it had already gotten much colder outside. Or maybe it just felt that way?

I decided to stop by the corner store so I could take a second to warm up. Maybe I'd buy some chewing gum or something. There was no one else inside, no one to look around at when I walked in, aside from the small man who quickly rushed back behind the register as soon as I entered.

My cheeks were rosy from being cold, though I started to feel the warmth slowly return to my body. That was probably in my top ten of the best feelings ever. One of the songs I usually avoided came on in my headphones, and I took a second to stop browsing and took my mp3 player out of my pocket to switch it to another song, settling on Pepper by the Butthole surfers.

I returned my gaze back over to the packets of gum. I don't know what it was about mint chewing gum that made it feel more healthy than the original, but the original always holds a special place in my heart. I pick up a pink package of stick gum and bring it over to the counter, sliding it over to the small mustached man who fumbled as he tried to send me on my way as quick as he could.

I couldn't tell if he was startled by me or if he was just that way. Either way, I'd try not to take it to heart. As I turn to leave, I take a stick of gum out of the package and pop it into my mouth, bracing myself for the cold.

I was dedicated to keeping up with my walk, and I hugged myself to try and keep warm. I've been going on this walk every Thursday since I moved out of my parents' house. Now it gives me time to think.

A man was lingering by one of the lamp posts that illuminated the dark landscape. He had a cigarette between his lips and was digging through the pockets of his clothes like he was looking for something.

He was a tall, sad eyed-man with slightly greasy dark hair and a leather jacket. He looked up at me as I walked past him before calling out to me.

"You got a light?"

Ah shit.

"Uh, yeah," I replied, turning around slowly and walking over to him, taking my headphones off. I did have a lighter, and I carried it around everywhere with me. It was my good luck charm, but it was decorated with puppy ears that I sculpted. It also had a few stickers I had laying around from my niece's birthday party. He looked like the type of person who'd laugh at me for something like that.

I fished it out of the pocket of my hoodie, handing it over to him and avoiding making eye contact with him. His brows raised briefly as he looked at it, but he smiled lightly.

"Thanks." He says. His voice is soft and calming. He uses my lighter to light his cigarette. "What are you doing out here in the cold?" He asks.

"I'm on a walk."

"Want... uh... company?" He offers. He seemed surprised at himself for saying that. I take a second to think.

Fuck it. Why not?

"Sure," I reply, sighing out the word. I tried to resist showing that I was cold. I had a little over a quarter of my walk left. The man straightens up, no longer leaning on the lamppost as he walks next to me, taking his place on the sidewalk between myself and the street. I glanced up at him, a hand in his pocket and the other removing the cigarette from his mouth.

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