4 | You're embarrassed, so I trust you.

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SMOKEY: i found ur lighter back in my pocket again
SMOKEY: i could swear i gave it back to u 2day
ME: Yeah, but i snuck it in your pocket to give you a reason to come back.
_________________

January 15th 2013

Despite all the past relationships I have been in in my 23 years of living, I have only ever been on two actual dates. Neither of those relationships was truly real. Neither of them had what I was looking for.

The dates were nice, though. I look back on them relatively fondly.

So, when I say this is the first dinner date I've ever been on, I mean it. I have been to the movies for one of the two dates I've ever been on. The boy who had taken me out won me a small, cheap teddy from the claw machine. That was the time when there were still ones that weren't just blatant money grabs. For the other, he had taken me to a small dingy café he frequented-- the same one he had come out of when I met him. All of the coffee there was shitty. I know because I kept going back after he left me for my best friend-- yes, it is that ex I am talking about.

Despite this, I knew exactly what to wear. He had sent me the location. It wasn't the most expensive of places, but I can guarantee it was enough for me. I knew exactly what to wear.

I had an outfit folded up in my closet, waiting for me to wear it. I never had an event to wear it to until now, though. It was a black, off-the-shoulder, knee-length dress. There was a rose embroidered over the heart. Other than the dress, I decided to wear light makeup again, with more focus on the eyes. I decided to surprise him, slipping on some flats and walking over to his house. I tried to ignore the sting of the wind as it hit where my clothes didn't cover. I haven't been to his house before, and I spotted him outside, smoking his cigarette.

His eyes lit up when he saw me, and I took a second to glance over him. Black button-up, black slacks, and a formal-looking black jacket tossed over his shoulder. He snuffed out his cigarette in the ashtray he had sitting on the table that resided on his porch.

"Wow," he announced, smiling as he walked over to me. "You look beautiful."

"and... cold..." He trails off, speaking before I could thank him for his initial compliment. He turned and opened his door before looking back at me. "Come on inside, don't freeze out here." He tells me. I laugh as he guides me in, his hand on the small of my back. It was a gesture that was familiar to me at this point, but it still made me smile a little whenever he did it. Scotty scrambled to run over to me, barking and wagging his tail.

"Thank you for the uhm... thank you for the compliment, Joby." I tell him as he steps inside.

"The wh... Oh, right," he hums, closing the door behind him. "You're welcome, [y/n]."

"I think this might be the first time I've seen you without your leather jacket," I tell him, turning around to look at him. I stepped forward, giving him a quick hug. Cigarette smoke and cologne-- one that smelled more expensive.

"Mm, you like it?" He asks, spinning around for me as I bend down and greet Scotty, eyes switching from the dog to his owner.

"You look handsome," I tell him, receiving a bashful smile. "Dapper, even."

"You flatter me, Sparky."

"Just telling the truth." He guides me into his kitchen. The format is the same format my house has. It's small, like mine, and more cluttered. There are a lot of pictures hanging on the walls. There is a woman in a lot of them. A redhead, with a bright smile and eyes that wrinkled in the corner. Her smile lines were etched into her face like a story. Despite her pleased-looking face in what I assume was the family photo, she looked like she had a sadness in her eyes. Maybe I was looking too far into it.

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