chatnoob2: treat others the way you want to be treated
bean: killed without hesitation
chatnoob2: no.
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TurtleKnight: what really matters is the inside, not the outside
jimothy: really? give me an example
TurtleKnight: refrigerator
jimothy:
jimothy: fair enough.
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TurtleKnight: press the spacebar to jump
Mechanic: okay
TurtleKnight: wAIT DON'T CLICK THE RIGHT ARROW AT THE SAME TIME
Mechanic: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST TOLD ME THE OBJECTIVE IS TO GET ACROSS
TurtleKnight: NOT WHEN YOU'RE STANDING IN FRONT OF AN ACID PIT
omi: poor, poor Mechanic
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bean: you're my best friend and i would kill anybody who tried to kill you. i would do literally anything for you
chatnoob2: i want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule
bean: absolutely not
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saltyNate: sometimes i drink milk straight from the container
hamburgZ: the cow?
saltyNate: wha- no??????
jimothy: Z, what the everlasting fuck?
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Mechanic: time for plan G.
omi: don't you mean plan B?
Mechanic: no, we tried plan B a long time ago. i had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
bean: what about plan D?
Mechanic: plan D was that desperate disguise attempt an hour ago.
omi: plan E?
Mechanic: i was hoping to not use plan E. jimothy dies in it
hamburgZ: i like plan E.
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TurtleKnight: so, what i have to do everything bean does now? what if bean jumps off a cliff? are you saying i have to jump too?
chatnoob2: well, if bean jumped off a cliff, they would diligently use their intelligence to calculate the height and width of the cliff, maximum fall velocity of the jump, precise steepness and angles required in body positioning and fall point, wind resistance and land impact. so yes, you would jump off a cliff too.
TurtleKnight: you go jump off a cliff!
chatnoob2: gladly, provided bean jumped first.
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TurtleKnight: must be hard not to laugh
chatnoob2: i do have a sense of humour you know
TurtleKnight: i've never heard you laugh.
chatnoob2: i've never heard you say anything funny.
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omi: what's your type?
bean: oh, anything really, so long as they aren't awful
omi, desperate as bean bleeds out: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE
bean: oh okay, b positive
omi: stop trying to cHEER ME UP WHAT'S YOUR BLOOD TYPE
bean:
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hamburgZ: i can explain!
bean: can you?
hamburgZ: if you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
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chatnoob2: violence isn't the answer.
bean: you're right, it isn't.
chatnoob2: *sighs in relief*
bean, bolting away: violence is the question, and the answer is yes
chatnoob2, running after them: bean NO
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chatnoob2: top ten reasons why bean can't be a mom
chatnoob2: her philosophy on children is 'if they aren't bleeding they are fine'
bean: that's how i was raised!
hamburgZ: and we all know how you turned out.
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jimothy: when you say you're the second worst thing that's ever happened to orphans, what do you mean?
hamburgZ: huh?
jimothy: i mean like, what's the firsts worst thing that ever happened to them?
hamburgZ:
hamburgZ: jimothy, they... they weren't always orphans
jimothy:
jimothy: oH
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hi so uh why do i always end up writing this at an ungodly hour?
my head hurts and i'm sleep deprived as fuck so sorry for any grammar mistakes
i tried to clear up most of them but there still might be some
guys let's start a charity called 'donate sleep hours to bean'
haHaAa don't i wish
bye bye i will go and resume my boxing match with my spaghetti brain
YOU ARE READING
jokes collection :) 3
Randomliterally just wrote this out of boredom to satiate my friends new username translator: itzza is now cart. TurtleKnight will still be TurtleKnight. chatnoob2 is still chatnoob2. simplii is now bean. saltynate = still saltynate no panther new ch...
