jokes collection :) 3

jokes 7

bean, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
turtle: Hey.
cart: Hi.
chatnoob2: Hello.
omi: Hey!
bean: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
saltyNate: We were out of Doritos.
—--
cart: Rules are made to be broken.
bean: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
TurtleKnight: Uh, piñatas.
chatnoob2: Glow sticks.
saltyNate: Karate boards.
omi: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
cart: Rules.
bean:
—--
bean, trying to convince hamburgZ to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!
omi: And loud!
Mechanic: And grumpy!
jimothy: And oblivious to reality!
hamburgZ:
—--
chatnoob2, negotiating with saltyNate: We have TurtleKnight. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed
TurtleKnight: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I'm only worth ten thousand dollars?
chatnoob2:
TurtleKnight: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–
chatnoob2: TURTLEKNIGHT STOP
—--
chatnoob2: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?
bean: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.
TurtleKnight: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.
bean: Good thinking.
—--
chatnoob2: I really like this whole 'good guy, bad guy' thing you guys have going on.
bean: It's not an act, it's just that I'm mean and TurtleKnight isn't
—--
Mechanic: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
jimothy: Okay, but in my defense, omi bet me 50 cents I couldn't drink all that shampoo.
Mechanic: That's not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
—--
hamburgZ: jimothy and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Mechanic: *Sighing* What did jimothy do?
hamburgZ: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
jimothy: Who wants a steering wheel?
—--
bean, driving jimothy and Mechanic: So how was your day?
jimothy: We almost got surprise adopted!
bean: What?
Mechanic: We almost got kidnapped.
bean: Oh, okay.
bean: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!
—--
TurtleKnight: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
bean: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
jimothy: Smad.
—--
*chatnoob2 is cooking*
TurtleKnight: Any chance that's for me?
chatnoob2: It's for bean. I'm planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side.
cart: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.
—--
saltyNate: cart isn't answering their phone
TurtleKnight: I'll call
saltyNate: jimothy and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
cart: Hello?
—--
TurtleKnight: cart, I'm sad.
cart: *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.
saltyNate: jimothy, I'm sad.
jimothy, nodding: mood.
—--
chatnoob2: Is stabbing someone immoral?
chuakip: Not if they consent to it.
bean: Depends who you're stabbing.
omi: YES?!?
—--
omi: Dammit, chuakip!
chuakip: What?! It wasn't me!
omi: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, chatnoob2!
chatnoob2: Not me either.
omi: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
bean: *whistles*
—--
hello lovelies
i just wrote this for fun and self-indulgence
idk if anyone reads this anymore
oki bye