Walker: Surrender

Chapter 14

Okay... Wow... Just... WOW!

That last episode of Walker was just.... Words can't describe it.

Won't spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it yet but hot diggity damn, if that's what episode 15 is like, what's the finale going to be like?

Anyway, TW for mentions of drinking in this chapter. Also for mentions of sucide

Enjoy

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I am never going to do something so stupid again.

That resolve was etched into Maddie's mind as she stared up at the ceiling of her bedroom, swallowing back the rising lump in her throat while her eyes began to moisten with tears. It hadn't been worth it. Hadn't been worth it at all.

The humiliation of her grandmother and uncle seeing her drunk was punishment enough already for what she had done, as well as the resulting hangover she was now dealing with. Why she had ever thought that drinking was a good option was beyond her but what else did she have to turn to? How else could she deal with everything that was going on inside her head?

She just wanted a break from it all, a break she'd found in consuming alcohol.

Why she'd ever drunk so much today she didn't know. How could she have let herself get so out of control? Usually a couple nips here and there were all she needed but today she'd just drunk and drunk without paying attention and now.... She sighed heavily. Now both Abeline and Liam knew.

The hardest part had been seeing the disappointment in their eyes.

That was what she had been afraid of.

They were disappointed in her.

She sniffed, rolling over onto her side and cuddled the teddy bear in her arms tight. The bear that she had been given at Christmas. Had it already been almost a year since she'd been adopted? It had been a year now since her birth father had passed and after everything else that had been happening, she hadn't had the inclination to miss him. As harsh as she knew it was, she didn't care anymore about him. That chapter of her life was closed. Forever. She had bigger demons to fight now then those old memories.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get herself through the rising feelings of anxiety welling up inside her. What was she to do now? How was she supposed to deal with all this? She couldn't speak to anyone about it. The last thing she wanted was to add an extra burden onto her family. If there was anyone she would have spoken to it was her father but he... A couple tears trickled down her cheeks. She couldn't go to him.

At least both Abeline and Liam had promised that they wouldn't tell him about her getting drunk. She didn't want to worry him when he already had enough to deal with. Abeline though had told her she needed to own up to Bonham for helping herself to his liquor and that wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to. At least it was the only punishment that she had given to her, having remarked that the hangover she now had to deal with was enough. She was grateful too that she'd shown understanding instead of getting angry with her.

Still cuddling her bear she rolled over in an attempt to get herself more comfortable, clutching her bear tighter as the movement sent fresh pain pulsating through her head. Yep. She sure as hell regretted how she had spent her afternoon. Biting her lip she sniffled back the tears, forcing back that lump in her throat. If she thought she'd felt bad before drinking, now she felt even worse.

Not doing that again. She promised herself. I am never ever gonna have that much again.

Time slipped by but sleep still wouldn't come, Maddie staring at the time on the digital alarm clock beside her.