Alter Ego Stand up

Stand Up By Sakurada Miyu

"We made it, girls, we snuck into Alter Ego," Kurumi whispered to her Lyrical Lily friends.

"This is wrong, why are we doing this?" Haruna asked.

"Isn't it obvious, Chairwoman? To find the center of sin," Kurumi replied.

"Who are you calling Chairwoman, Kurumi-san?"

"Relax, Haruna-chan, or we'll get caught," Miyu interjected as Haruna's voice got a little too loud.

"Now what?" Kurumi asked.

"What do you mean, 'now what'? It was your idea. Did you not plan anything?" Haruna retorted.

"I didn't think the 'McLovin' trick would work," Kurumi admitted.

"Neither did I."

"Right, Miiko-chan?"

"¿Kurumi-chan? Miiko don't say anything"

Kurumi turned to face a girl with hair almost the same color as Miyu's.

"Can you explain what you're doing here, Lyrical Lily?" Hiiro asked.

"It's not what it looks like. I mean, yes, we used fake IDs to get in, but in our defense, the guards at this place are incompetent," Kurumi explained.

"Please, Hiiro-san, don't call the police. We'll leave and we won't do it again!" Haruna pleaded.

"Hiiro, there you are. I've been looking for you because... Lyrical Lily? How did you get in here?" Tsubaki joined in.

"They should improve the security around here, that's all I'll say," Kurumi remarked.

"We just wanted to see what it felt like to get into an exclusive club," Miyu added.

"And you falsified IDs and membership cards?" Tsubaki questioned.

"Kurumi-chan provided them for us," Miiko replied.

"I just needed to see Nagisa-san's for a moment and managed to falsify it. Isn't it great?"

"No, it's illegal," Tsubaki was visibly upset.

At that moment, Nagisa and Aoi arrived where everyone was, also surprised by the presence of Lyrical Lily.

"It's all your fault, Nagisa," Tsubaki scolded her.

"What? Me? How was I supposed to know that Kurumi wanted to fake my membership? I didn't even give it to her, I just showed it to her, and apparently she remembered the design 100%," Nagisa defended herself.

"We have a bigger problem," Aoi said.

"A bigger one?" Hiiro asked.

"Someone put 'Stand Up' in today's brochure and now people want to hear a stand-up," Nagisa said.

"Stand-up?" Tsubaki said.

"Well... I know you're angry with us right now, so sorry for butting in, but what is Stand Up?" Miyu said.

"It's a comedic act, where the comedian tells a story or talks about a topic, it's also known as a monologue," Nagisa answered.

"So people want a monologue," Kurumi said.

"The owner asked me if anyone knows how to do comedy," Aoi said.

"I don't," Tsubaki said.

"As a psychologist, it's already assumed that I'm boring," Hiiro said.

"Then we're screwed, people are going to be mad," Nagisa said.

"Wait a minute, where is Miyu-san?" Haruna asked.

No one realized that Miyu had gone to the Alter Ego stage until they heard that she activated the microphone:

Hey there folks, are you ready for some literary laughs? I'm here to talk to you about classic literature, or as I like to call it, the OG books.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Classic literature? That sounds about as fun as watching paint dry." But hear me out, because these old-timey books can actually be pretty hilarious.

Take Shakespeare, for example. The guy wrote some of the most famous plays in history, but have you ever actually read them? The language is so old-fashioned, it's like trying to decipher a secret code. I mean, what the heck is a "wherefore" anyway? It sounds like something you'd say when you're lost in the woods.

And then there's Jane Austen. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Mr. Darcy as much as the next gal, but let's be real. If you actually tried to follow the intricate social politics of "Pride and Prejudice," your head would spin faster than a top. I mean, who has time to keep track of all those fancy titles and who's related to who?

And don't even get me started on Moby Dick. I mean, it's a classic for a reason, but let's be honest, it's basically a whole book about a dude trying to catch a fish. I mean, I'm sure Herman Melville was a great writer and all, but couldn't he have just written a short story about it instead?

So there you have it, folks. Classic literature might be stuffy and old-fashioned, but it can also be pretty darn funny. Just remember, if you're ever feeling down, there's nothing like a good old-fashioned book to make you laugh... or at least put you to sleep.

"Since when has Miyu known how to do stand-up?" asked Tsubaki.

"She's been reading a lot of comedy novels," said Kurumi.

"People want more," said Nagisa.

"Step aside, I'm going to show you why my life looks like a comedy!" said Kurumi.

To be continued... Maybe... I don't know