"I think they want the last one, and we're out of here," Nagisa said.
"Well, if you guys don't want to try, Rondo, there's only Haruna-chan left," Miyu said.
"Me?"
"The comedy died today, so it's the President's turn," Kurumi mocked.
"Damn it, I'm not the president of anything."
"Well, now you'll be the president of the clown club, so go to the stage and conquer their laughter," Nagisa pushed Haruna onto the stage and handed her the microphone.
When they saw Haruna, everything fell silent at Alter Ego, only coughs and occasional crickets could be heard:
"Distinguished and esteemed audience present in this nocturnal gathering at the exclusive establishment known as 'Alter Ego,' I wish to extend my greetings at the twilight of the day. I am Kasuga Haruna, whose existence takes pleasure in being a participant in your presence. I fervently hope that you enjoy a pleasant entertainment experience and, in particular, experience moments of hilarity through my keen sense of humor."
"Leave the bombastic words for later, Haruna-chan," Kurumi said.
Please ignore her. Let's start with something simple. You know, the other day I was cleaning my house, and then I saw my vacuum cleaner. And you know what I did? I sold it. All it did was collect dust.
Then a drumbeat was heard, and someone threw a tomato at Haruna.
What a difficult audience. Leaving the bad jokes aside, there are things I've always wondered about. Like, for example, what came first, the chicken or the egg? If it was the chicken, where did it come from? Did God create it like He created us? And if it was the egg, who laid it? Has God been a bird all this time? So, to solve this whole conundrum, I asked the only living being that knows the answer, the chicken. And you'll be surprised by what it replied, "Cluck, cluck, cluck!" *Ba-dum-tss*
*Another tomato is thrown at Haruna.*
Who brings tomatoes to a nightclub?
Speaking of vegetables, how is it that life makes us confuse what is a fruit, and what is a vegetable? For example, a classic one, the avocado. Is it a fruit or a vegetable? A vegetable because it's green? Or a fruit because of the seed? Or the cucumber. I used to think that tomatoes were vegetables, but they're fruits. So why do we call it tomato sauce and not tomato jam? And you might say, "You can make vegetable jams." Well, I've never seen a carrot or lettuce jam. Maybe there's a reverse case, some fruit that's actually a vegetable. Speaking of fruits that are vegetables, the other day I started growing eggplants. I hope when they grow, they'll give me a dozen eggs for breakfast. *Ba-dum-tss*
*Another tomato is thrown at Haruna.*
It seems someone here started their tomato cultivation.
Other existential questions that keep me up at night are: Why is 'all together' written separately and 'separate' written all together? Why does a word contradict its meaning? Why doesn't 'synonym' have a synonym? Even 'antonym' has an antonym, which would be the same as a synonym. It makes no sense.
Like that conversation I overheard in the kitchen: Two muffins were sitting inside an oven. One of them said to the other, "Wow, it's a little hot in here." The other exclaimed, "Wow, a talking muffin!" *Ba-dum-tss*
*Another tomato is thrown at Haruna.*
Well, I may not have originality in my jokes, but neither do you. Isn't throwing tomatoes a bit cliché? These people are really going crazy.
By the way, if a lawyer goes insane, do they lose the case?
Another thing, why does quicksand take time to take effect? It literally has the word 'quick' in it, so it should be quick.
Where did old Zealand go? Along with Atlantis?
If I connect to a church's Wi-Fi network, am I receiving God's signal?
*A watermelon is thrown at her.*
Oh my God! See?! Now that's original. I hope that watermelon is fresh from the compost heap. Well, dear audience, I have to retire as it's late, and I need to sleep, but it takes me a while to fall asleep because I need to count sheep. The good thing is that we can count sheep, unlike them. Do they count themselves? Or do they count humans? If chickens eat any meat other than beef or pork, do they say, "Tastes like human"?
"She's literally the meme of Ms. Comedy," Kurumi said.
"I guess I'll go to the box office to refund tonight's tickets," Aoi said.
"Poor Haruna-chan, she ended up as a clown," Miyu said.
Author note: Who did the best stand-up comedy?
Miyu? Kurumi? Miiko? Or Haruna? You, dear readers, decide.
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Alter Ego Stand up
FanfictionSomeone went overboard and put Stand up on today's Alter Ego program. Now Rondo has to do comedy, but luckily an angel fell for them illegally. Thank you for stopping by this story, as I want to conquer english Wattpad , I have to do it through the...
