golden boy : stozier

seventeen

"you know, i don't think we've hung out this 'uch the entire time we've known each other. i told you they like you." richie was talking out of the side of his mouth, a folded up piece of paper containing filters sticking out of the side of his lips.

it had been a week or so, and stanley had finally agreed to hanging out with them again.

richie was hunched over a counter in beverly's kitchen, rolling joints meticulously. stanley was watching him, more out of a fondness to watch richie work carefully with his fingers than anything else. richie had a chopstick in his right hand, rolling paper around it with his other hand.

stanley took the pack of filters out of richie's mouth and held it between his fingers. "i haven't been there half of those times. you know that. and anyway, this is different, i mean they invited eddie and ben." stanley watched as richie licked the paper, sticking it together.

earlier when richie had done that stanley had looked at him in disgust, to which richie had replied, 'it's like an envelope!' stanley had looked at him in further horror.

"yeah, which god knows why," richie stuck the chopstick in his mouth now, effectively recreating his former slurred speech, "if 'ill wanted to smoke, 'ut whatever," richie rolled his eyes, switching between holding the joint and the chopstick.

"yeah, i'm not too sure about that either. nice that they're here, though. i didn't know they knew ben." stanley scratched at his arm, putting the filters down on the counter. richie finished tying up his last joint, putting it in a little baggy next to him on the counter.

richie pushed the baggy to his right and turned around, hopping up on the counter to sit.

"mike's got some class with him, or something." now that he wasn't focusing on something else, looking over to stanley felt more awkward than it had before. it had been like that recently; it felt like looking at each other merely for the sake of seeing the other's face was something sinful.

"do you guys want—" eddie's voice suddenly appeared and the two snapped their heads in his direction, like they'd been doing something worthy of getting caught. "woah. alright. sorry if i interrupted something." eddie's voice had an undertone like he was trying not to laugh.

"no, you didn't—what did you want?" stanley cut in immediately, richie looking to him briefly, then to the floor, back up to eddie. eddie watched richie's gaze flicker in all three places, and nodded slowly.

"um, we're going to watch a movie. if you would like to join. bill said you two can smoke now, if you want to." eddie leaned against the wall, narrowing his eyes at the two of them. stanley nodded, a little too eager.

"sure, uh, tell bill to go out back." richie told eddie, who walked off to relay the message. richie, feeling his stomach do turns for a reason he couldn't quite discern why, turned around to stanley, "you wanna come? you don't have to smoke, if you don't want."

stanley, glancing from richie to the floor, thought about the idea of sitting in a room with beverly, mike, ben and eddie. "i'll come with," he decided. richie clicked his tongue.

"attaboy," richie said, then pausing awkwardly before getting up from the counter, swiping the bag off into his hand and making a beeline for the back door. stanley gulped, wiping the sweat on his palms off on his jeans, following behind richie loosely.

"godbless you richie," bill was already outside, in a short sleeved t shirt leaning over the railing. he turned, seeing stanley leaning against the back of the house as well. "stanley, you sm-muh-moking?"

stanley ran his nails over his leg nervously, "uh, i'm not sure." bill nodded, a simple cool. stanley agreed with richie that bill could be intimidating sometimes, but right now, without beverly (for once), he was sort of just a teenage boy. something about that felt very new to stanley. bill was kinda cute, too.

"okay, there's kief in this, so," richie said, digging a joint out and handing it to bill to hold. bill began to burn the tip off with his lighter, which stanley hadn't realized had ever been in bill's hand.

"oh, richie, kief is the luh-love of my life, bless you so much," bill said, richie watching him with a strange expression. stanley had a feeling richie was also seeing bill as a teenage boy for possibly the first time.

"don't tell beverly," richie muttered, and bill actually laughed.

"where on earth do you buy weed, rich?" stanley asked suddenly, and richie turned his head to him. he gulped, it seemed, and his eyebrows knit together uncomfortably.

"uh, i know a bowers. and he knows a guy, and... yeah." richie trailed off, scratching the back of his neck. bill put the joint in his mouth, either not listening or not caring about what richie had said. stanley nodded, pretending like he knew what a bowers was.

"i wanna smoke some," stanley said, as bill blew smoke out of his mouth away from richie's face. bill grinned, taking another hit of the joint. he passed it to richie, who turned to stanley.

"okay, so what you're gonna wanna do is inhale it to get it in your mouth, right, then like, actually inhale it, and then you can blow it out. some people hold it in their mouth, but that just makes it burn in my opinion," richie explained, taking a moment to demonstrate. stanley watched the edge light up orange, ash building on the edge.

"not to mention the shitty t-tuh-taste," bill added, spitting off the side of the deck. stanley nodded, taking it from richie's fingers as he passed it. their hands touched briefly, and stanley felt himself heating up like the joint itself.

"quickly," richie ushered, before the joint went out, and stanley put it up to his lips. "i don't really think there is a taste, honestly," richie turned to bill. bill shook his head, pointing at richie.

"this g-guh-guy always says there's no fucking taste. there is so!" bill replied, stanley cringing as he coughed out the smoke. bill laughed lightly, "there you go, stanley!" and richie pat stanley on the back. to richie's surprise, stanley lifted the joint to his lips again.

a while later, the three of them decided to return inside, bill scrambling in to see beverly. richie and stanley stayed outside for a moment, stanley looking down at the ground beneath him. richie chuckled.

"you alright, dude?" richie put his hands on both of stanley's shoulders, and stanley turned around to face him.

"i'm so dizzy," stanley mumbled, his clammy hands grasping the collar of richie's shirt. he briefly pulled at his own shirt, as if to make sure he wasn't choking. richie ran a hand through stanley's hair like it was his own.

"that's normal, it's okay," richie reassured him, and stanley glanced back up at richie. his hand gripped richie's collar harder, and richie suddenly felt the feeling rise back up in his stomach. "stan," richie said gently, glancing to the window into the beverly's house.

"i know we're just high," stanley was whispering, and stanley pushed richie lightly, richie backing up until he hit a wall. richie couldn't help himself, placing a hand on the side of stanley's face.

"stan, what are you doing?" richie began, stanley shaking his head. suddenly stanley looked upset.

"i don't know." stanley brushed some of richie's hair out his face and let go of him, and richie realized he had started crying. stanley walked off to the other side of the porch, leaning over the edge like bill had been when they'd come out here.

richie followed him, leaning against the post. "what's wrong?" he resisted the urge to move his hand to stanley's back.

"i'm sorry, i don't know, i don't like being high," stanley whispered, wiping tears from his face.

"you didn't have to smoke," richie said, and with a moment's hindsight, added, "sorry if i pressured you."

"no, i wanted to try it, i just don't want to do it again." stanley looked up into the moonlight, breathing with purpose to make himself stop crying.

"okay." richie nodded, and stanley looked over at him. right now, richie was beautiful. he adjusted his glasses on his face, glancing between bill's yard and stanley himself. he was just so pretty, that stanley found himself thinking about the bathroom at the party.

he was so beautiful.

and it scared the hell out of stanley.