Future of the mockingjay

Chapter sixteen: Happening

Come on Peeta! Turn around! Don't leave her there alone.

I wander through the streets aimlessly, smiling politely at anyone who recognized me.

"Peeta, m'boy!" I turn around, only to run into Mavel, the baker.

"How are you, Mavel?" I ask, trying to look happy.

He frowns at me, clapping me on the back. "Come now, lad! Why the long face?"

"I'm fine," I insist, laughing it off.

"No you're not," he says, scrutinizing my face. "Come on over to the shop, we can talk."

Not seeing any point in arguing, I follow him to the bakery. Inside, the comforting smell of fresh bread and sweet pastries puts a real smile on my face. I inhale the aroma, leaning on the counter top.

"There we go!" Mavel says, laughing. "Such a handsome face as yours shouldn't be sad."

"It smells amazing in here," I compliment, smiling.

"Well, can't say you didn't help me," Mavel says, offering me a loaf. "Take it, it's your recipe anyway!" He pushes it at me and I take it, thanking him as I take a bite.

"So..." he starts, scratching his head.

"It's just some trouble with Katniss," I say, knowing where this is going.

"Ah, lady trouble? What about, lad?"

I sigh, trying not to let out all the emotions building up inside of me. "It's just... well, we're just having problems getting over the past, that's all."

He nods understandingly. Mavel had been an undercover spy working in the Capitol during the time of the Rebellion. He decided to settle down in District 12, still the most plain and calm district in Panem.

"Peeta, I don't mean to pry into your personal life, but things like what you've two have been through... things like that can take some time to get over." He looks at me with his deep purple eyes, a mark of his time spent at the Capitol.

"I know," I say, picking at the bread, "but her nightmares... I just can't stand seeing her like that. It's driving me crazy! I can't handle this, it feels like I'm useless to her." I drop my gaze shamefully, resting my head on my hands.

"Now stop there," Mavel says sternly. "Peeta you're one heck of a man, and any gal would be lucky to have you for even a day. Katniss has got you for, well, forever I'm presuming. Just being there is enough for her."

"You make it sound so easy, like I'm the answer to the problem," I say, shaking my head.

"Well here's the question, Peeta: what is the problem? This isn't really just about Katniss anymore, is it?" His gaze locks my eyes, and I feel as if I can't move.

I sigh, finally giving up. "The fight I had with Katniss... I don't know what happened. It's like... like I couldn't even control myself. Back at the Capitol, when they captured me, the worst thing they did...." I take a deep breath, grasping the counter.

"If this is to hard...." He starts to protest. I wave him off.

"The absolute worst thing was the hijacking. It's not about pain; there wasn't much of that, but it was the way it affected me. When I saw Katniss in my mind, it wasn't her! It was this fierce, blood-thirsty girl who wanted nothing but to harm me." I closed my eyes, fighting the memories. "And when I strangled her," a tear rolls down my cheek, "I could see and hear everything. I wanted to stop! I wanted to let go of her!"

Mavel suppresses a sob and pats my shoulder stiffly. "Don't be afraid, lad, that isn't going to happen again."

"You don't understand, Mavel!" I lift my head and stare at him straight in the eyes. "It already has."