HYYH Notes 2

What Nobody Saw (Part 2)

Taehyung
24 July Year 22

After the party, I came back to my place. A place of hell that I was used to. Empty bottles, cups and plates rolling about on the floor, and the man crumbled in a helpless heap in the corner, cussing out of habit — my dad. Nothing to be surprised at.

But I screamed when I saw my sister waddling around and sweeping up the broken bottles. Startled, she turnd around. She resembled Mom. She was just like Mom — skinny, her stooped back, but also the sense of helplessness. She took after everything in Mom except in the selfishness of abandoning me. That was what she should have take after.

"Taehyung•••," she said as she stood up. Hearing her feeble voice, I just couldn't stand it any longer. "I'm sick of this!" I yelled at her and ran out.

I walked any which way. I wasn't headed anywhere. It was night, but the wind felt hot & wet. With every step, my head was thumping. I panted and my face flushed. But I couldn't stop. I walked as if I was running, and I ran as if I was walking. And I stopped and stamped my feet, screaming.

Still, I couldn't calm down. I crossed the roadand saw a familiar silhouette. It was Jungkook. I thought our eyes met, but Jungook spun on his heels and soon became a blur. I thought it was just as well. I didn't want him to see me like this. I started walking again. I cut across the railway and the bridge.

The first place I stopped was when I saw the road post for Munhyeon City: Welcome to Munhyeon City, a lovely place to live.

Only then did I realize I was going to my mom. I had got her address when I'd gone to see my uncle a couple of days ago. He stopped me and shoved a piece of paper in my hand. When I opened the note, there was an address scribbled down in haste. Munhyeon City Buk-gu, Bogeumjari Apartments 103-306.

I knew right away. It was Mom's address. Without a word, I shoved the note in my pocket. When I got out of the alley, I crumpled it and threw it away.

Ever since that day, I'd been thinking about apartment 103-306. I saw the address only once, but it became engraved in my head. The public housing apartment across the busy downtown area of Munhyeon City Buk-gu. I'd found myself searching for ways to get there: cross the railway, cross the bridge and walk through downtown. I walked down the path in my head.

When I get to apartment 103-306 and the door opens, what will the inside look like? Will Mom be happy? Or unhappy? My mind followed an endless chain of thoughts. I hoped Mom would be happy. Since she left us, she should at least be living a better life. That way I could hate her without having to pity her.

I imagined her finally at peace in her life. A life that wasn't bound by something, a life in which she was responsible only for her life. A life in which she had no bruises on her arms or legs, and she spent her time after work tending her flowers on the veranda while sipping a cup of tea. The life of selfish stability in which she would sometimes remember me and my sister only to forget us soon thereafter.

It was past midnight, but the downtown area was brightly lit as in broad daylight. I left the people and cars whirring by and walked into the dark alley off the back street. It was the quickest route to my mom's apartment. The alley was a completely different world — dark and grim streets, flickering streetlights, and small and dingy bars with gaudy signs. With my eyes on the ground, I hastened my steps across the worn-out streets.

I stopped and turned around because of a loud noise. A bar door banged open & a man was chased out. A woman, possibly the bar owner, yelled at him & slammed the door shut. He probably couldn't pay her for the drinks.

He staggered in my direction, bumped me on my shoulder, reeled, & fell. Standing still, I looked down at him. He wasn't going to stand up anytime soon. He seemed to be falling asleep. His overgrown and disheveled hair, his partly parted blackish red lips, and his sagging belly under a rumpled shirt.