HYYH Notes 2

The Reason Why Fireworks Are Beautiful (Part 1)

Seokjin
3 August Year 22

I came back home. The pictures will still strewn on the floor. I picked them up one by one. Yoongi & Jungkook sitting on a stool & playing the piano, Namjoon sitting by the window, Hoseok & Jimin dancing & horsing around.

I still had the throbbing headache. But I knew. The pain was evidence that what I was looking at and trying to remember were important to me.

I spread open the map of my dad's soul. If it was indeed the map of his soul, then what would the map of my soul be? My errors & mistakes, the choices I'd made & I had not made, & the things that changed because of them•••. The map of my soul would have all that in it.

Suddenly, the people in the pictures seemed to be moving. I thought I heard Hoseok & Jimin laughing, & Jungkook turning to look at me. And I heard Yoongi playing the piano. Namjoon and Taehyung running at the beach, laughing.

All those moments in the pictures were lifted up in the air & were replaying like in a video. The music was playing, they burst into laughter & the sun was pouring down. The moments overlapped with each other, the pictures were merged, and something unknown unraveled from my heart and spilled out. It rode in my veins and fanned out to every corner of my body. Something that was clogging up my head crumbled down and memories poured out like fireworks.

Once released, the memories whirled around, bewildering and baffling. The whole room shone bright with whirling memories that were sad, wistful, heartbreaking and joyous. I couldn't believe it as I stared at them. How could I have forgotten them? And I realized something was exuding light from my pocket.

I took it out. It was a Polaroid picture. A picture with clear crumpled lines. I thought I could hear Jungkook's voice, "Let's take a picture here." I turned and saw the beach. All my friends were running to my car. Each got to a place & took a pose. Click. I pressed the shutter.

No, that was not it. We had taken a picture there countless times. But I had pressed the camera shutter only during the last time loop. This was the first loop ever for the six of them to be in the pucture without me. Before then, I had used the timer & we had all been in the picture.

Next, the moments that were whirling around the room disappeared and the scene in the Polaroid picture unfolded in front of my eyes. The sea breeze was blowing. It was hot and my neck was sticky with sweat. The sand in my shoes felt prickly.

"Seokjin, hurry up," Namjoon motioned to me. "Hurry! Run!" said Taehyung. I set the timer & ran to them. My feet sank deep into the sand. Just as I was able to turn, I heard the camera shutter click. Someone laughed. There was no reason to be laughing but we still laughed. Pointing to one another & not knowing what was so funny, we roared & rolled on the sand. We laughed ourselves silly.

When I came out of it, I was still in the room. The memories I saw had disappeared. I was alone with the pictures scattered about in the room. I looked down at the Polaroid picture in my hand. The scene in the picture was slowly changing. There was me standing next to my friends in front of the car by the beach.

I suddenly remembered what the cat had said: "There will be a price to pay." This was the price. Having the haappiest memories disappear from me and forgetting the precious people around me. I realized what kind of horrible contract I had signed up for.

The wind was blowing from the window. I looked around me. I had no idea how much time had passed. The sun was up with not a cloud in the sky. It was morning. A new day. The wind coming from the window circulated in the room which had started to get hot. The fresh new air hovered around me.