The Way of the Fanboy (Male Reader x Shikimori)

To love is to die

Y/n grudgingly took notes in his class with Shikimori. The teacher's words flew over his head, because he could only think about Shikimori. Why am I obsessing over her so much now? he suddenly thought to himself.

From the moment his family moved into the town in 9th-grade Y/n had liked Shikimori. At the time she was much more "boyish" because her hair only reached until her neck, and she behaved much more menacingly. Over time, even though they had become friends, Y/n's love for Shikimori was forced to shrink, because she got into a relationship. But Y/n held on to that last bit of love he had, and now the small ambers had turned into a wildfire within a day. 

He hesitantly looked over at Shikimori taking notes. It hurt for Y/n.  His ribs stung the flesh in his chest like hot metal when he saw her eyes.

I'm so childish! Y/n refocused on his notes. Shikimori doesn't like me. End of the story.

He scratched the fibers of the paper with his pen harshly and wrote without much thought. 

_____

Y/n tried to avoid being seen by his friends. Not only because he was exhausted, but because deep down he knew, if his friends knew what was going on in his mind, they wouldn't be his friends at all.

At lunch, he began to wander the hallways like a shadow. Y/n suddenly realized how much he hated the school. The useless classes, the shallow students, the uncaring teachers, the lifeless walls; he hated it all. 

"Y/n-san," Izumi emerged from the dark corners of the hallways.

There was an awful grin stretched across his face making him seem like a hyena. "What do you want?" Y/n muttered coldly.

"Oh nothing much," Izumi said. "I just wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?"

"Oh yes Y/n," Izumi said. "I've never felt more alive. I'm not weak anymore. Nobody can look down upon me. I get to do what I want. I understand how the strong feel now. Isn't it great?"

"...I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, c'mon Y/n! The fear you see in others' eyes! Isn't that the saying? There is no love without fear."

"That's a load of bull."

"Is it?" 

"Move out of my way Izumi," Y/n pushed Izumi aside.

"Don't touch me Y/n," Izumi shoved Y/n back.

Suddenly something snapped inside Y/n. All the emotion Y/n had held back in the corner of his heart, unleashed itself in a violent swing. THWACK!

Izumi stumbled backward, wobbling around to keep his balance. Y/n hadn't even fully understood what he had done—the swing was made by an internal instinct inside him that overwrote his consciousness.

Before he could even process anything, Izumi jumped at Y/n with a punch to the chest. Y/n sucked his breath in, and grabbed Izumi's collar.

It was a violent exchange of punches. Izumi wildly lashed out at Y/n, not bothering to remove Y/n grip, while Y/n held on to Izumi's shirt, punching him in the abdomen. "Can you understand it now Y/n?" Izumi shouted. "The feeling of being alive!"