A Day in the Life of Trash

oh god oh fuck

so much has happened since the last time i wrote an entry to this fucking thing. i graduated high school back in january and me and my boyfriend got a cat last month and i'm turning 18 in about 34 minutes. that's so crazy to me. i started writing in this diary when i was in like 7th grade? so i was 12 pretty much. and now i'm gonna be a full adult human being that can like legally get tattoos and stay out in town past 10pm and i didn't realise how much of a kid i was back when i started writing in this diary. so much has happened in 6 years and i don't know what to do with myself. i think i'll probably feel the same way about my current self 6 years in the future.

i graduated a semester early and i can't tell if i regret it or not. i really like having free time and being able to develop a self concept but at the same time i have like major fomo and am terrified that all my friends are gonna forget about me. i worked really hard to get here though and i think i should be proud of that.

me and my boyfriend's cat's name is winston and he's a really cute cat. he has really pretty blue eyes and such a vacant stare; looks like there isn't a single thought behind his eyes and he acts like it too. he's getting along with my boyfriend's sister's cat and i hope that they can be friends. we spun winston around on the floor a bunch of times today and i don't think he liked it very much but it was really funny and he's a very slippery guy so he spun a lot. my bad if this is so fucking boring.

i'm having a birthday party for the first time since i was like 9 years old and me and my friends are going to buildabear. i think i'm going to make a frog. we went yesterday and looked at them and there were like 5 different colors and i want them all. i hope that it goes okay. my birthday really does feel like the symbolic end of my childhood and that doesn't feel very good. i don't like knowing that i didn't get to have any fun or like any interesting experiences when i was little.

i don't really know how i feel right now but that's okay because i'll still only be 18 and have so much more time to figure it out. if anyone reads this just know that you can make it and i love you.