Stalked psychosis: memories from the same dream

Memory 3

     After the first round of my 'psychosis', (yes, he came back twice) this was the strangest story I would tell my new friends, laughing about it, only the ones I trusted though, my family's done a number on my communication and trust at this point. I prefaced them with the fact it wasn't real. I would tell them I went into the psych ward twice because of this though, this time I told them about when He stuck his tongue out at me. 

     There's not much to this memory, I went driving, playing music, I assume it was the same deal, talking to Him, Listening; same thing I've done for the past two years. Except normally he would only drive the opposite direction of me, always. When I noticed it at the beginning, a black Camaro was driving in the fast lane going north while I was going in the fast lane headed south, for no particular reason other than to drive to hear Him talk. The song 'drive by' was playing and the black car zoomed by, odd again.

     This time I was about 35 minutes north just getting off the highway, every time I drove I basically just did it to see what I thought was The Car or Him. Every time. I was driving East in Melbourne toward their beaches just to get back to US1. after a couple minutes off continuously checking my rearview which had become a habit at this point, I noticed a similar Camaro I've grown accustomed to. I'm constantly telling myself it's not real, none of this is real. at this point, I haven't told anyone this was a daily occurrence. No one seemed convinced, why would they? 

     The car got closer on the packed two-lane road, staying in the right "slow lane", while gaining ground. I stop paying attention while repeating in my head, this wasn't real. Zoning back into the music, I cant even remember it. I was so shocked by His presence. The car crept up next to me and I turned my head in shock that He had made it to me. Florida traffic wasn't the kind  let you in easily, it was the same guy from intersection. It had been what felt like months but in reality it had maybe been a month, maybe a month and a half. But at that point its an every day occurrence and didn't even think it was the same person because...it's not real. I didn't see Him every day, mostly just playlist listening, and videos on apps to explain something I had stated alone. 

     I look at His face, black sunglasses, pale skin, dark, almost black hair. Then the fucker smiles and sticks his tongue out at me playfully. If it wasn't happening to me I would think you're crazy. How do I explain something so individually peculiar? I didn't. I give back a scrunched eyebrow confused face, and he speeds off the best he can in traffic and I lag back.

     Even with everything that's happened in that short four to six weeks, I didn't think that was him. I did but couldn't bring myself to link him to me. I'm a nobody, not in a boohoo way, just a factual way. I wasn't interested enough to chase Him. What would I do if I got him anyway, just follow him? No thank you, I'm not trying to be the next dateline special. And anyway, if that was the person I thought was in my phone and I got to him, men lie. He could say I was stalking Him. Which, what if everyone was right and I just followed a total stranger...

     I numbingly drive home, I can't think straight. I'm confused, suddenly tired, with no one that will listen. I made it home an hour later to see my dad off work. He asks how my drive was, I keep it vague, he wasn't interested in hearing about it.  I left it short to spare him the details, and fake giggled and said, "Some hot guy drove past me and stuck his tongue out at me." I scrunched my eyebrow, shake my head, throw my hands up with a smile to play off how I'm convince I'm being followed. No one will listen.