Inside the Fire

Chapter 19: Business

    Yesterday's events exhausted me, I'm tired, hungry, sore. My wrists ache from the slashes, although unlike Fai, I did not scar. She'd stayed up all night thinking, her alarm going off rouses her from her revere. Fai considers going into work, after what happened last night. Flipping through her limited possible activities for the day, she decides to go. Better to be busy than to be stuck inside her room all day. The walls of her apartment seem to suffocate her, Fai gets ready for her day as quickly as she can.
    Before I know it, she's knocking on my door. I can't go today, I groan, picking myself up from the ground. I need to go hunting, food poisoning and blood donation don't mix.
    Opening the door,
    "Hey Fai." I croak.
    "Damn, you look awful." Her eyebrows knot together.
    "Yeah thanks," I roll my eyes, "Listen, I don't think I can go into work today."
    She nods,
    "Of course, is there anything I can get or do for you?"
    I shake my head,
    "No, all I need is food and some sleep." I try a reassuring smile.
    "I have leftovers-"
    "No No, that's alright!" I interrupt, last thing I need is figuring out a way to dispose of the food without hurting her feelings. After a quick run through of Tom's illness remedies later, "I have some soup I picked up last night."
    A bout of dizziness hits me, I lean on my door frame for support.
    "About last night," Oh goddesses, "Did you see or hear anything?"
    I close my eyes, playing up my level of sickness,
    "Nothing out of the ordinary." My voice shakes.
    I see myself in her eyes, I do look awful, almost green and incredibly pale.
    "Oh, okay, I'll let you go then." Fai's voice is laced with both relief and disappointment.     Relieved I wasn't involved, disappointed that she didn't have a potential witness.
    "I won't be into work for awhile." I gesture to myself.
    "Alright," She nods, "I'll see you again, when your ready"
    With that I close my door and slowly lower myself to the ground. Lying to her was draining. One thing was true, I do need to eat. I listen to her leave and wait a few moments before going outside. Once she's turned a corner, I make my way to the spot where I can dimension step to a place with actual food. It doesn't take me long to get there, but with the sun up, I need to be careful about people seeing me.
    Spreading my mind out, I listen for people looking out at the memorial. Thankfully it's not something people comfortably look at. It makes them sad to think about it, giving me an advantage I didn't think I'd get. He must've thought of that too. I step into the ashes, feeling for the weak spot in reality with my hand. A tingle shoots up into my fingers and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Redrawing the symbols was easy, and once again the ashes arrange themselves into the gateway. This time, I confidently step into it, angling my body as I do it so I'm stepping onto the ground of the other side.
    After taking off my clothes, letting go of my human shape is euphoric. The restraints of being human all the time are still painful, but it's not a severe as it was last time. Stretching I sniff the air, searching for any nearby animals. I let myself go to the thrill of the hunt, running, stretching my muscles and sinew over bone, taking in the scent of the forest. It's hard to remember why I want to pretend to be human. At least, not until my stomach is full, and my mind is cluttered with more animals. I take a moment and create spaces for them to exist in, like tucking a child into bed. I clean myself of the blood and gore while I section them away to their new forever homes.
    My claws are sharper still, I've gained more weight to my chest with a hard shell over my more vital organs, as well as the scales on my forehead flatten and harden. I tap on them, pleased with their thickness. Once cleaned, I force my body back into the shape of a human, full, content and very very tired.
    The streets are earily quiet in the afternoon sun, something about having the sidewalks empty with the pavement glowing is lonely. Do the people working above feel the same? While they work, does anyone stare out the window at the windswept city scape, wishing they were in the warm sun with the soft breeze tugging at them? Ah I'm tired, I rub my eyes to wipe away the fog threatening to overtake my vision. How long will I sleep this time? Will what I've done yesterday increase the time yet again? I bulk at the possibility of it being a month before I go back to work. Perhaps Fai will knock on my door, wake me up before it gets to that extreme.
    Fuck, Fai. What should I do know? I still want to leave someday, and now I've tied her to me so tightly. When would be a good time to tell her? Will it ever be a good time? All the tennants left over at my home are asleep, which sounds like a fantastic idea. I can worry more about Fai when I wake up, I tell myself. No use letting this keep me up.
    Getting into my room, I remove my clothes again, and let myself stretch out on the carpet. I've grown bigger once again, what a shock. I flex my claws in and out, gently kneading the ground without puncturing it and fade into a thoughtless slumber.