Inside the Fire

Chapter 6: Agendas

Song to listen to: No Surprises

It's been over a month since the older female has left, and the younger brown haired male has rarely been in to watch me as well. He relegates his questions to trivial things, and asks the occasional rude question, but seeing that he is less socially adept than I am, I let his slip ups slide. He's continued on his notes concerning my conciousness,  but he's  left out that I'm able to communicate telepathically, as he's put it. It is an enigma, but if I'm being hopeful, I think he's protecting me, in his own way. I'm already a threat just be existing, no need to add fuel to fear and make it necessary to dissect me.
I hear in the minds of the rotating humans that their considering feeding me again, they've reached out to the older female to gain approval, but she either shuts them down before they get the chance to ask, or ignores the messages they send her. She is dedicated to keeping my shape-shifting from the other humans, preferring to keep it just between her and her potential sacrifice. It's easier to trust someone, when you assume they will soon be taking your secret to the grave.
I understand the young male human's feelings, I make him uneasy, thus causing him to avoid "work". But seeing he is the only person I have to talk too, our short exchanges leave me desiring much from him. I've tried being polite, and patient, but when he comes to me with only the dullest of questions... Where has he gone to? His mind is far away, and he's usually careful with his thoughts around me, but I can still hear their tone, and he slips every once in while near the ends of his 8 hour shifts. There must be a way to elicit more of a reaction out of him, maybe being polite was the wrong approach with him, and he's become complacent?
Everyone is more relaxed now, as annoying as it is that the older female is ignoring them on the most part, they're collectively breathing a sigh of relief. Her presence is a dark cloud over the "project" and her keeping herself busy elsewhere allows them room to breath. They're relieved, but I'm starting to feel a little hungry again. Three bunnies were good for a month, but I've grown exponentially since devouring them. My body needed the nourishment they provided, and I've nearly doubled in size. I'm now the size of a large dog, ones the dog in my mind remembers, seeing them walked past her on leads, through woven metal.
Sleep eludes me, I'm exhausted, but the fight with the dog, my desperate scramble to safe keep the cats... And being the reason they died haunts me. I can still smell their fear, although their bodies have since liquified, and are in the process of mummifying. Watching them go through the process of decay is mortifying, a few of the human's watch it with mild interest, while others want to get rid of the bodies, they are too afraid to enter my area while I'm awake.
Acouple of "important" humans walking past my enclosure catch my mind, their conversation catching my attention.
"-the fifth one this week." The male whispers.
I can hear his heart rate is exceptionally fast, faster then I'd heard his be.
"We don't know if they know our location, we are on of the First Lines best kept secrets." Male #2 replies.
He's attempting to be comforting, but his heart is just as fast, his thoughts twisted with worry.
"Dr.Marcose's facility was their best facility, but that one was destroyed!" Male #1 whines.
"Evidence points to something breaking out, not in." Male #2 retorts.
"Then how do you explain the bullet wounds on most of the staff? Not all of them were," he clears his throat, "dismembered."
The way he says it implies some sort of involvement, like it could be their fault somehow.
"It wasn't one of ours, we keep them closely guarded and monitored 24hrs a day, and none of the subjects have proved to be sentient." He retorts.
"But the activists could have been waiting for the right opportunity to strike, we need to hire more-" his voice cuts off as the exit into another portion of the facility, too far for me to both hear and hear.
The implications are beyond me, but the thought of escape, is enticing. I don't know what I'd do if I did, I don't know their world, or the dangers it might hold for me. I know for a fact that there's a metal that is quite harmful to me, and through the human's thoughts it's common in this world. But to think, that I would see the sky, and smells the dog misses, or to hunt like the cat once did in it's memories. To run without meeting a wall and stretch my muscles and see what they are truly capable of... It scares me, even as it draws me to it.
I know better than wish for it, I'm too scared to try to leave. At least here I'm protected, and fed on the odd occasion I think sourly. I'm facing a corner, laying on the ground with my hands folded under me, my forehead pressed into the converging walls. This position is somewhat comforting, or as comfortable as one can be with silence. These human's shift is about to end, and one of them is falling asleep as he stands, the other prods him awake with a pen he kept in his shirt pocket.
They all dress the same, I'd never cared to notice, but with the monotony that's come to settle into my area, every little detail has become slightly interesting. A white coat, a soft blue button up, and black slacks. The shoes range from running shoes (older humans are more likely to wear these,, for the extra support,, maybe?) And black leather shoes. The younger male wears such shoes, dressing to impress, I'd guess. Our conversations are one sided.
I've grown interested in even the most mundane trivialities. Like these human's names, Mike and... Trevor, is it? They talked for the first three hours, but the conversation died out as they do not have much in common besides this job. Since then the one named Trevor has moved on to watching pornographry on his personal tablet, placing it on top of the work tablet, and leaning on the wall opposite of the camera in the booth. He gnaws on the flesh around his thumb nail, not thinking any thoughts in particular, just watching the images move on his screen. I'm impressed they could hold his attention for so long, but judging by what little thoughts are going through his head, he isn't watching the videos anymore. Trevor glances up to see Mike leaning forward again, his eyes drooping shut.
'Unbelievable.' Trevor thinks, and stabs Mike again with his pen.
Mike's eyes flash open, and he looks back at Trevor in indignation only to see that he's gone back to watching his tablet. He clears his throat and blinks several times at the screen. It was Mike the older female had called into work early the other day, and from the strained silence when Trevor and the dark colored female are in the room, I'd guess they'd gone on one of those dates the younger male had wanted to go on. I wonder what the younger male's name is..?
Mike leans forward again, his eyes closing, and he almost falls if not for catching himself on the counter, slamming his hands onto the edge and dropping the tablet to the ground. Trevor tsks at him, but goes back to losing himself in thoughts. Mike slaps himself in the face aggressively, and takes his pony tale out, running his hands through his hair before putting it back up.
Almost entertaining, indeed. I sigh, and close my eyes, trying to find anyone else close enough to listen to. I can feel other thoughts, just vibrations of them spreading out from their sources. Nothing is coming in clear to me, I try to push out my radius as I have multiple times this past month, but hearing nothing more than the vibrations. I'm straining against the limits of my own mind, pushing to hear anything outside of the minds that I have so close by. Everything is still so far out of my reach.
"Would you pay attention?" Trevor's outburst pulls me back from my efforts.
"I am!" Mike retorts, his voice hiding an edge of guilt.
"If you get caught sleeping on the job, you are not the only one she will punish." Trevor pleads.
"I know." Mike grumbles.
His face flushes pink in embarrassment.
"Okay," Trevor closes out the website he was streaming from, "What's going on with you."
Mike rubs at his face with one hand, his fingers pausing on a premature zit, that he now absent-mindedly picks at.
"Dude, I don't man, with Tom calling out so often, I've been called in so many time's," he scrapes some skin off the surface of the zit, and looks at the small bit of blood trapped under his index finger, "I'm spread so thin these days."
His words strike a cord in me, spread... thin..? Is that what I'm doing? Trevor shifts his feet uncomfortably, he didn't plan on Mike actually answering his question deeper than the surface level friendship they shared. I've no time to pay attention to those humans now, I want to test out my new theory. I've been trying to spread out my awareness, like ripples in water, but what if I reach out in a point? Like I had with the younger male? I feel like an idiot for not thinking of it sooner, and feel out in one specific direction.
I follow after one of the vibrations, and feel the older female scientist's thoughts floud my head. She is changing into her work uniform, and I see more of her than I'd ever desired too. I immediately switch directions and crash into a human's mind that I'd never felt before.
He stiffens, I was careless and had accidentally delved too deep into his mind, he feels my presence there. He stands up from a crouch,
"Do you feel that?" He asks someone next to him, hes turned away from them, and is so focused on my presence that he doesn't think about what his companion look like.
"Feel what, Sir?" A relatively young female voice asks.
There's a sickening smell in the air around the male, and how his body feels to him, I'd guess he's middle aged. I carefully feel around for the female's mind, anchoring and branching out from the male's thoughts, but I find something else.
It's mind is primitive, but it can smell as well as I do. Something about it makes my pulse quicken. I was careful, I barely grazed it's thoughts, but I could feel it, looking at me. It's familiar somehow, I could smell just faintest hint of, me, wafting from it's skin. It looks up at the humans, and smells the air for me. I was right about the male, his hair is military cut, black and peppered. The female has honey gold hair pulled back into a pony tail, she steps back reflexively from the creature whose eyes I'm looking out from.
It gets up on all fours, then stands, towering over the humans, it's heartbeat quickening.
The male human gestures to the female, putting a finger to his lips. The creature cranes it's head up, and sniffs for me again. It's irritated that it can see me, but not smell me, it's thoughts too simple to comprehend that I wasn't in the room with it. It growls and snuffs, and pushes at the chains that shackle it to the wall. Not wanting to cause an incident where more living things die, I pull out of it's mind, and retreat back into mine.
Just in time for the door to open to the human's room, the younger male walking in, he smiles sheepishly at Mike. Mike shakes his head and gives the work tablet to the younger male, shaking it into his chest. Trevor and the younger male share an awkward smile, the uounger male nods to him.
"Anything new with him today?" He asked.
"Zed," Trevor corrects reflexively, the younger male and I collectively sigh, "and no, they have been in the same position since I took over for Kelly." The younger male feels a quick prick of shame at the name.
"H-how is Kell?" He asks before thinking.
Trevor purses his lips, wondering how many more time today he's going to incite these too personal conversations.
"She's had her first treatment, but it's not looking good." He cuts himself off.
A friend should know that much, he tells himself, reminiscing on how easy Kelly had become since her diagnosis.
"Ah." The younger male's face twists slightly in regret for asking.
"And how are you today?" He thinks the thoughts so naturally, I connect our thoughts automatically. I want to share what I saw, but second guess myself. If even I make him uneasy, I'd doubt he'd like to know of the being in the other part of the facility. He's only talking to me to escape the conversation he's already in, I know he's using me but still, he's the only person I can talk to.
"The same as ever day." Would this be a good time to ask? "What is your name?"
"I helped raise you, and you don't know my name?" He asks incredulously.
This isn't going to go well for me, I'm tired of playing nice, so I answer honestly.
"I've never cared to know." I state it as a matter-of-fact.
His curiosity is peeked,
"What changed your mind?"
"Bordem."
My answer ticks him off.
'What is his deal?' He thinks.
"Do you know how much stress being on this project has put me through?" He starts, "And only now want to know my name, because you're bored?
I knew he'd be dramatic about this, he's so sensitive. But I just had to be honest with him. I really must be tired.
"You're insulted that I want to know your name out of bordem, but you still refer to me as a "project", as if that's not offensive." I retort.
He's taken slightly aback.
"That's different, you are different, and I'm not going to argue with a lizard."
The younger male is rather pleased with his insult, but I don't know what a lizard is. From the memory he's comparing me to, the resemblance can't be denied. Is it that he is implying that I'm inferior in some way, because I resemble a lizard?
"A lizard am I?" I ask with merth. I stand up from my position in the corner and stalk over to the window and place my hands apart on it. I'm now tall enough to reach it, when I'm on my hind legs. Staring at him, and the other human through the glass, their flesh looks differently to me then they do to eachother. They're so soft looking, you can see the blood pulsing through their thin skin.
Both men are watching me with differing degrees of fear, Trevor swallows at a knot in his throat.
"Freaky." He whispers under his breath, he verbally spoke, so I single him out. His pupils shrink, and sweat beads on his forehead.
"Stop." The younger male thinks, "Please stop, my name is Tom."
It hurts me that they would be afraid of me, but wasn't that the response I wanted? I turn my attention to this Tom, conflicted on how I should feel, and the door opens to reveal the older female. Not wanting her attention, I hide a grimace and push myself away from the window, and begin walking laps around my enclosure. Trevor, stares at me, trying to control nausea that bubbles up in his throat.
"What was that?" The older female questions. Tom looks over to see her standing there, and connects the dots that I must have left when she arrived.
"I think, uh, Zed, got curious." Tom offers. She's already staring at me with intensity.
"Zed was curious? About us?" The older female places a hand on the glass, her voice sounding, touched?
Trevor clears his throat, and holds the tablet up for her to take. She ignores him, electing instead to watch me walk in circles. He waits for her take it, but his arm is getting tired.
"I'm going to head out now, Doctor." He states, not voicing it as question, to avoid giving her the choice to say no. Trevor places the tablet on the counter closest to her, "Excuse me." He mumble to the older female, she doesn't budge, so he clings to the doorway, and edges out of the room, eager to get away from her.
"Does she scare you too?" Tom inquires.
"I wouldn't say it's fear that I feel for her." I can barely contain the hate in my tone.
'He hates her?' Tom smiles to himself.
She picks up the tablet with distaste, she's aware of Trevor's extracurricular activities, and dislikes the thought of touching the tablet after him.
'It's filthy.' She whines, and pulls out hand sanitizer. After she's wiped it down with liberal amounts of the alcohol based fluid, she logs in to go over key points of footage that have been sent to her over the last month.
"Tell me," she pauses, building "suspense", "Do our standards lower when we are tired?"
Her tone has Tom on edge, by the sound of it, someone had made a mistake.
"No, Doctor." He tries to make it not sound like a question, but his voice peaks at the end, so he makes a show of clearing his throat. Her fingers hover over the tablet, dissatisfied with what little new information there is of me on her tablet. Other than my growth spurt, nothing else had changed.
"Then why did you think it's appropriate to call in so many times this month?" She fast forwards through today's footage, "And you did it, knowing how... precarious you situation is with the company."
Tom coughs on dome some spit he was trying to swallow.
"Doctor, I wasn't feelin-"
"Weren't feeling well? You are aware of Kelly's predicament, correct?" She smiles smugly.
The blood drains from Tom's face, a sense of dread settles into his stomach. Her smile turns polite.
"Thank you for your behavior this month, it's helped me convince the majority of the board to take the next step." Her eyes are warm, her voice is takes on a very cheery, almost motherly tone, "You're going to help make my dreams a reality."
Tom is dumbfounded, he looks at me, I refuse to look at him.
"Zed has chosen you as well, haven't they?" She places a hand on Tom's shoulder, he snaps back to attention.
"If he kills me, he'll be able to take on human form!" Tom panics, looking for anyway to escape this death sentence.
Her eyes tighten,
"We don't know that Zed will, the cat offered herself to them." She rubs and pats his shoulder. "And we both know you aren't giving yourself to Zed, willingly." Her tone had returned to being friendly by the end of her statement.
"Would you kill me, if they put me in with you?" He pleads with me.
"I don't think they'll give me a choice." I reflect back on the cats, "I don't think they're above doing to you, what they tried to make me do with the cats..."
"This isn't fair." He whispers.
Her face frowns sympathetically,
"That's how life is munchkin." She gives his arm one last pat, and enters more data into her device. "Anyway, they are in a meeting right now to discuss your fate, but knowing them..." she holds her tablet to her chest, "They will go with what I recoment."
She smiles at him again,
"I interrupted my important research to be the one to tell you the news."
I'm dumbfounded by what I'm hearing. She can't be serious, she can't be this ignorant towards another human life. They're the same species! But I can see what she thinks, his sacrifice is a necessary evil to accomplish her goals. Her goals being, to recreat the destroyer of mankind.
I'm decided against helping her with her goals.
"I need to fall asleep." I announce to Tom.
"What? What do you mean?" He's experiencing whiplash from the differences in the moods around him.
"If I can fall asleep, maybe they will want to wait before feeding you to me." I clarify.
He snorts,
"That will never work, as you said, the cats."
How can I explain this without being rude?
"I woke up early due to hunger, I'm not as hungry as I was before, maybe they won't risk having you die of hunger before I wake up?" I left out that cats can go for far longer in between eating before they die of starvation, unlike a human.
"It might also give you the time needed to convince them to let you live?" I know it's a lie when I say it.
Once they've decided he's more important for furthering their research dead over being alive, nothing will save him. But the hope for a second chance chance has blossomed in his mind,
'Maybe that will work.' He muses.
"How do we get you to fall asleep?" He inquires.
I hadn't thought this far, I've tried to fall asleep so many times this past month. I stop back at my corner, and curl up, instead of the huddle I'd been in, optimizing comfort over safety.
"Try thinking of something soothing?" I offer, unsure.
He scrolls through a few thoughts, trying to find things that may work, and he settles on some goddess scriptures he'd mesmerized when he was younger.
"You believe in the Goddesses?" I aske. They've always felt like a fairy tale the humans tell themselves to give reason to things that otherwise could've been explained using science and basic reasoning.
"I did when I was younger," he ponders on memories of childhood, "But I grew out of it." A flash of an angry father, pressure on his forearm, and his face landing in the dirt, flit faster than I could comprehend through his mind.
I want to ask what I saw means, but that will have to wait. If we fail at this, I might have to know, against our will what had happened.
"It's worth a try." I say, sullen.
He snatches a look at the older female, a feeling of rebellion sweeps through him, as he begins his recitation. I try to fall into the words, letting the easy flow of the chanted phrases. The sentences are of the expression of words, rather than a real story, and the way it's "spoken", feels familiar. An old language, forgotten by me, and humanity. They weave themselves into structures, and double back on each other. It's quite unlike any language I've heard the minds of the human's, as though it was meant to be thought, or sung with many phrases layers on top, all changing pitch and flowing past one another, creating a feeling of a place, event, or time, long gone from the minds of man. I can almost remember how the words are meant to be said, branching out into different possibilities and scenarios with each verse. I follow the words, trying to see or feel their meaning, they pull at the back of my memory, begging to be remembered.

There's darkness all around me. I know I'm dreaming, this is what dreaming is, the dog, cat and bunnies had all done it, but it's stranger to experience it myself. Their memories hadn't conveyed the confusing of dreams, everything uncertain and intangible. The dog runs past me, chasing a winged creature. Wherever she steps, I can see a meadow pulse out momentarily, a voice calls her. She runs after the faded memory of someone who she now only remembers the smell of. A kiss, scratching behind one ear. The sound of pellets in a plastic bowl, an angry voice. She runs from the angry voice, and finds the flying thing, her dream forming a loop of joy, only restarting when it was no longer pleasant to be in. The rabits huddle together, enjoying each others company, eating food I can't taste or see. Burrowd under what I think is sawdust, a hand reaches in, and places more food in front of them. They all contribute to the dream, choosing to live in the moment of each other's company. There are eyes that are closed, I don't know who's, but the faint taste of drugs wafts out from them, the being choosing to be in a silent stupor. A thumping noise being picked up by their barely concious ears, rhythmic in its quality. Everything hurts, or is sore in this mind, they choose to ignore, or maybe the drugs make them oblivious to my presense. There's not much thought coming from the mind, I don't  have any real evidence to go off of, besides how truly cold abd hard the wall feels behind them. When nausea over powers them, I try not to live through the experience of throwing ip with them. That was not a dream, that is happening right now. What connection do I have to that being?
Then a presence, it's familiarity prickles down my spine, it looks at me without eyes in recognition and surpirise. It approaches, and I can feel my scales stand on end. There's something wrong with what I'm looking at. Whatever it is, it's staring into me.

A loud blaring noise wakes me up, my eyes open wide, I see the door to my enclosure is open, the lights are flashing, disorienting me for a moment. Red, then white, I can collect my thoughts, I can still feel the darkness from my dream watching me. I'm on edge and the shriecking of some speaker nearby is doing nothing to calm my nerves. The faintest breeze wafts into the room, and with it the smell of a fresh, and heavily flowing wound. A human form slumps against the window wall, clutching a hand held weapong in one hand, and blood pulsing out from underneath the other.