The shop is draped in silence. Fai figets behind the counter, unsure what to do. She thinks about her own mother. It wasn't painful for her to remember her childhood.
'He's why, he took away her ability yo hurt me.' She realises. 'Is there anyone who can do that for him?'
Ugh, I know she means well, but I'm not broken. I don't need someone to "fix" me like I'd done for her. As if I'd even done that, she would have reached the conclusion I forced her mind to accept, eventually. Fai bites at her nails, anxious, and my eyes droop.
If I'm not careful, I could fall asleep like this. Goddesses, I didn't realize how tired I am. My body hasn't had nearly enough sleep in the past month. First the leviathan, then the museum, followed by my fruitless hunt to keep my secret safe.
"W-would you like to try some ice cream?" Fai's question cuts into my revere.
I open one of my eyes a slit and regard her with curiosity.
"I've already tried this ice cream." I remark.
"That was the kid you, and you say he was a different person, so, wouldn't who you are now like to try some?" Her voice is shakey with false confidence.
Even now she's scared of me, but why offer me ice cream? Based on the memories of the people I have, icecream is a comfort food. My eyebrows raise as I look at her. Is this her trying to sooth me? I run a scan on her brain, and, no, she's not trying to win me over. Her intent is pure, she thinks I'm sad and is trying to help.
"Uh, sure."
I rise from the booth and stand in front of the freezers, watching Fai put fresh cream in the mixer. Does she think everyone that gets angry like I did, are all just secretly sad on the inside? That thought process can't possibly be healthy.
Her hand freezes,
"This flavor has caffiene, is that okay?"
Shrugging,
"Probably, it didn't hurt the last time." Although it did cause my blood to burn.
That shouldn't be a problem this time, I have good, practiced, control over my blood. And I have nothing to hide from Fai, it'll be a different experience this time. She hands a scoop of the fresh icecream over, her face guarded. Should I be suspicious of this? I run a quick scan of her thoughts, and don't find anything to indicate that she meant harm. Quite the opposite, she's concerned. Since it doesn't sound like pity, I'll let her thoughts slide.
The reaction my body has is the same as before, my veins constrict, my heart beats faster and my temperature rises. I clench my teeth, and take slow breaths in through my nose. Between the cold creamy texture of the cream and my bodies reaction to the caffiene, I can't decide what's more pleasant. It's the perfect level of sweetness, and the sensation of my veins swelling and my blood rushing is thrilling! I don't need to run to get to this high.
Fai watches me incredulous,
"D-did you g-glow like this last time too?!" Her voice incredulous.
I flash a smile,
"Of course."
She leans back onto the counters behind her, her expression lost.
"How did I not notice..?" She mutters to herself.
I shake my head in mock surprise,
"Yes, how could you not notice something I purposely concealed from you?"
Although I hadn't been doing a good job of it, I had tried to hide my nature from her. Fai's face turns complicated at the reminder. Ah, a reminder that her friend had Bern lying to her, for months.
'Can I blame him?' She rationalizes, wanting to think the best of him now that he's gone.
What were the chances that I'd run into a decendant of my... friend? Can I even call him that? My heart squeezes uncomfortably in realization. No, he wouldn't, would he? My brother had taught the ignorant me how to save Fai's life, did he orchestrate me living near her too?
My blood runs hot, and it's no longer from caffiene. Manipulative son of a bitch. He was trying to kill me. Lead a child to the only dragon hunter in the city, retired though she is. Was this vengeance for taking his freedom from him? How petty do you need to be to try to kill a kid?
Wait, I used to kill kids, what makes this any different? Is it because I was the child this time? I scratch under my chin, thoughtful. I should be used to people trying to kill me by now, but this does sting. Either way, I hardly see how it was fair. His disdain was for me. He should've left the kid out of this.
Someone knocks at the door to the shop, a gesture made moot by the bell attached to the door ringing out their arrival. My body goes rigid. I close my eyes and watch them through the filter of Fai's mind. Fai turns and smiles at the person behind me. Mild recognition flits across her face, followed by her eyes flickering between me and my brother.
"Wait," Fai holds out a finger, "I know you! You've been here before, right?"
Mahonri Moriancumer nods behind me, I can feel his empty sockets boring holes into my back. I'm not breathing.
"Yes, that was a few months ago, I can't believe you remember that!"
His cheerful demeanor puts a sour taste in my mouth.
"Of course," Fai's voice is perplexed, "I remember all my customers."
"Well isn't that something." Mahonri leans against the doorway.
"What are you doing here?" My voice is sharp.
Mahonri sighs,
"You know the phrase, speak of Nepharia-"
"Are you comparing yourself to a made up deity?" I interrupt.
Something goes off in Fai's mind and she gasps,
"Wait, your like him, aren't you?"
Even with my eyes closed, I know she's pointing at me. "You look, so similar." Her voice trails off, becoming small.
"Fai," I open my eyes to look into hers, "Meet, Mahonri." I turn around to face him with the introduction.
Dressed in a leathery black outfit, paired with a brightly colored tank top depicting a beach sunset to offset him trying to look like he takes himself too seriously. Honestly, it's enough to start a headache.
"Is he..?" She starts.
"Yes I am!" Mahonri's voice is chipper, "But don't tell him that." He hooks a thumb in my direction.
"He'd kill me again if I told anyone."
I hear Fai bump into the counter on the rear wall, she'd stumbled back, trying to distance herself from someone she'd not thought of as a threat.
"Again?" She whispers. "Oh Goddess above, you're his brother."
"In the, albeit undead, flesh." He flashes a full face smile at her, crinkling the deep scars on his face.
"I see how you always appear at the most awkward times, you've been keeping an eye on my thoughts." I hiss. "How did you find me?"
"You should know by now, that our connection is a two way street." My face is mirrored in his black sunglasses as he turns back to me.
"So that gave you permission, did it? To harass a child? Show up and make criptic remarks?"
If he'd had eyes, he'd roll them at me.
"I'd hardly call you a child."
"It wasn't me, he was simply a means to an end." I scoff, "And now that I'm back, he's gone."
Mahonri's visage takes me in, weighing the truth of my words, then shrugs.
"Whether he was you yet or not, you could imagine my surprise to hear you thinking at all." His voice grows sad, "I'd wondered, after you had gone missing if you were dead or not. There was a vacuum of thought and I was afraid."
He shifts, uncomfortable,
"Then a few months ago, I feel the sparks of conciousness, you'd somehow returned and as a child, no less. Very peculiar."
"In any case," Mahonri continues, "I only appear when you thought of me, or had bigger questions."
The memories of his sudden appearances are still as infuriating to me, as they were to the child.
"Your words only confused him more," I snap, "Of course, NOW I know what you meant! You were toying with him" My lip curls in disgust. Another, more confounding thought comes to mind.
"Or did you think you had a second chance at being a decent older brother?" I sneer.
Mahonri frowns,
"At least I tried."
I try to steady my breathing, I can feel my blood getting hot, and this is a shop with frozen confections, I intend to keep it that way.
I narrow my eyes at him,
"You are really somthing." Deep breath in, deep breath out. "You never showed an interest before, why the change?"
He grimaces,
"I thought." And continues mentally, not wanting to put it into spoken words. 'I could avoid a repeat.'
"Did you?" I reply outloud, "Has anything changed?"
His lip twitches,
"No."
"So let me make this clear to you," It's easy to close the distance between us in this tiny shop, "I plan on returning home, for what is mine. Your interference be damned."
Of course I don't plan on going anytime soon, I'd like to explore what humans have done in my absence. Let him sit in the empty threat of me going home though. It'll be good for him to prepare for the inevitable. Mahonri's eyes narrow, his brows bunching up.
"This is what I was afraid of, first you're imprisoning someone else," he gestures to Fai, "The next conquering a kingdom that has run fine without your influence."
"Are you implying that I shouldn't take what's mine?" I growl.
"Not necessarily, but it was never yours to begin with." Mahonri retorts. "We both know you are not fit to rule."
I raise my eyebrows,
"No I don't know that, explain it to me, exalted one."
"You mocking me instead of behaving like the thousands of years old dragon you are is a prime example." He states cooly.
My hands ache to rap around his neck, to strangle a different answer out of him. But he's right, I need to keep my cool. And I've only just gotten Fai back in the mood to talk to me too. Any chance I could get her to turn around while I strangle my brother real quick? My thoughts flash between violence and appeasement. After arguing with myself, I decide on the mature option. After all, I shouldn't murder every person that infuriates me. Then again, he isn't just anyone...
"You might have a point-" Mahonri's expression is unreadable "But I know I'd be better than whoever is there now. At least I spent a lifetime being instructed on how to rule."
There's no need to revisit what we both know. When I'd tried to take over, the people revolted and slautered everyone that shared my race. They didn't want to chance another tyrannical ruler. I don't know how Mahonri was able to remain on homeworld, but he was always so clever.
"Not clever enough to realize what you planned." He replies.
"Please," I smirk, "Not everyone can hear what I'm thinking, keep your commentary to yourself."
'I know my walls are up, and yet you've found a way to weasel in anyway.' I think.
'There are no walls between us now, brother, only inconvenient windows.' Mahonri's mental voice is smug, 'You took my autonomy, can you blame me for finding a way to get some back?'
"My request still stands." I need to keep reminding myself that violence isn't needed. 'It's not her fault she was born human.'
Fai's eyes dart between us, she knows we're talking in more ways than one and is a little frustrated at not being included.
'Why make me be here if I'm going to be ignored.' Her mental tone is resigned.
I turn my head to her,
"You can go." I wave a hand at her in a shooing motion.
Her face flushes,
'Now that he's telling me to, now I don't want to.' But she nods.
"I'll see you back at the apartments then?" Shooting Mahonri a worried glance.
"Yeah sure." I shrug. I keep my voice disinterested, even if Mahonri had planned on us becoming friendly, I don't need to show him his plan had worked. Damn him.
Mahonri's face follows her as she leaves.
"Charming human you have." He mumbles.
I tilt my head and lean with my hips on the counter behind me, folding my arms.
"She has her moments."
Something isn't right with how he'd looked at her, I can't put my finger on it. I wait until the door closes behind Fai,
"Why are you really here?" I spit out vehemently.
His lip curls like he smells something bad,
"I can't visit my little brother from time to time?"
"No." I snarl, "We both know how you see me, was it curiosity? Were you hoping for a scared child?"
"I wanted to see if you truly had returned," Mahonri clacks his "cane" on the ground, then points it at me "-as this."
"Here I thought you'd missed me." I smirk. "I'm sorry to disappoint, but you must be used to it by now."
"Perhapse..." His voice trails off, cutting off our conversation and leaving an uneasy silence.
"Well you've seen me," I breath, "Has your curiosity been satified?"
He shakes his head,
"I would have been satisfied if you had changed," his voice grows sad, "But now I know you are incapable of that."
"Mahonri-" I snap, "Of course not, I was in a state of stasis. Aware, but bound up in that sword, my person carved in runes into the blade."
I unfold one of my arms,
"When would I have had enough of a conciousness to think, let alone to change?"
"Never the less," Mahonri replies, "I had hope that you did."
My eyes sting, an uncomfortable sensation,
"Just." I hesitate.
What do I want from him? This little visit of his has been distressing enough. A stone settles into my heart. He can't give me what I want from him.
"Leave." I command.
His face contorts into contempt,
"As you wish." He gives an exaggerated bow, and bruskly pushes his way out the door.
He's gone the moment the door clicks shut behind him. His illusion skills are second to none, I'll give him that. If only, he'd put that much effort into the people around him. Ugh, my mind is becoming a mystery, even to me.
Sitting in the Shop, I examine my own confused emotions. Seeing Mahonri had thrown me off. Now that he's left, exhaustion seeps back into my bones. My hand rubs at my tired eyes. Our relationship had never been good, but it's especially hostile now. I know I killed him, and he has every right to be upset about that, but that's not what he's angry about.
Coming to see me to see if I'd changed? What a joke, he rarely does anything without having multiple reasons to do it. He'd been a king that had made so few decisions because he was too busy second guessing himself. It was one of the things I'd loathed him for.
If he hadn't been so scared of taking action, would things have turned out differently for him? No, perhapse not. Afterall, I am who I am and he is who he is. We can never co-exist peacefully. My heart drops in my chest and aches. I touch my chest just above my heart. Why does that... hurt? How can it hurt to know I will not ever be close with my brother? Nothing between us has changed, and yet... another throb. What in the hell is wrong with me?
Closing the door behind me, I realize Fai had taken the key with her. I use my power to trigger the internal mechanism in the door, locking it. Really, what have I become?
The walk back to the apartments was unfamiliar, but also ingrained. I felt my mind wandering, flitting between the people that live in the buildings. Getting an update on their mundane lives gave me a satisfaction that's alien to me. I really shouldn't care, but that one human had denied impregnating his wife's much younger sister, meanwhile the sister in question is humming gleefully repeating to herself the sweet words her sister's husband had whispered in her ear.
Absolutely shameless, he's nearly triple her age. He'd already married his wife at a ripe old age, now he wanted fresher fruit. I suppress a shudder of disgust, mating with someone that much younger than you, it's similar to a child. Please, even I have standards, as twisted as those may be.
I mull over how I used to take the females around me and stop dead in my tracks. Waves of nausea overtake me, did I really used to do that? Even thinking about it, fuck, I shake my head, trying to free it of the memories. I can feel a migraine coming on. Too much has happened today, and I can't keep my eyes open much longer.
The apartments are relatively quiet when I get back. A somber mood hangs over them as the sky darkens above with the setting of an unseen sun. This building is more what I'm used too. All these giants around me can be unnerving, but I relief flushes through me at the smaller, simpler home. Still leagues more advanced to the homes of the past, but I have seen homes similar in size. A welcomed familiarity, though I doubt it's very secure.
I long for a mountain to burrow deep into, no human was ever mad enough to create a separate entrance into my Domaine. Here, all they needed was a strong arm and pick axe to help themselves to the inside of my abode. It sends an uneasy twist to my gut. What am I afraid of, really? How could any human pose a threat to me? I chuckle at that impossibility. Nevertheless, the lack of a sense of security is going to put a damper in my rest.
I hear Fai sitting in her room, trying to think of what her life was like before I'd come into it. Or rather, trying to think similar thoughts to what she used to? She misses the simplicity of her old life.
'Fai.' I call out.
Her heart skips a beat, and glances at her door.
'I'm not coming over tonight, I'm going to go to sleep for awhile.' I deliberate for a fraction of a second, 'Will you take care of yourself in the meantime?'
Her vision is blured with how rapidly she's blinking, she finally settles on squeezing her eyes shut.
'It's insulting that you need to ask.' Comes her reply.
I chuckle, stepping into my room and closing the door behind me.
'The last time I tried to sleep, you were beset apon by a leviathan.' Wait, that, no, it was when the kid had tried to sleep. I am getting our memories mixed up. Wonderful.
'That was a special case,' her mental voice is petulant, 'Giant Sea Creatures don't come out of the ocean depths every day.'
My reply is delayed, I want her to think that I had to think it over.
'It might not be every day, but how many dragon kind have you met this year? 3? Any number that isn't zero is peculiar, isn't it?'
'I thought you were going to bed?'
I let out a guffaw, striping my clothes off to sleep in my original form. Ahhh, it does hurt to move. How long had the kid been in human form? This can't be healthy.
'I'll sleep better knowing you aren't welcoming another horror beyond your ken into your home.' My voice is mimicking sincerity, 'You can't die without permission now, and I'd hate to wake up to learn that you had been dissolving and healing in some great beasts belly for the last couple weeks.'
'Weeks?! How long do you sleep for?!' Her voice is panicked, trying not to imagine what my scenario would be like.
'As long as it needs to be, I think my record was half a year once.' I let her stew in the fear, but the longer she sits with her own imagination, the more guilty I feel. 'That was a joke.'
A sigh escapes me, conceding defeat,
'Your suffering would wake me. If you so much as stub a toe, I'll know.'
My words both comfort and frighten her. On one end is not suffering, and the other is that we are so entangled that I'd know so much about her.
'Don't flatter yourself,' I interject, 'I don't care enough about you to keep tabs.'
Even as I say it, I know it's not true. I do care, and the reason I don't read her mind now is out of respect. Respect for the boundaries of her mind.
'Wow, uh, okay.' Her voice is unsure, 'Do you tell all your victims that, or am I at least special in that way?' Snarky, better.
'It's up to you if you want to be a victim, it's not everyday a human becomes a pseudo immortal.' I reply.
'Pseudo?' Ugh, another question. I just want to turn my brain off.
'Yes, pseudo. If I die, anyone that's linked to me does to.' I shift into my original form, but keep it small, about the size of a horse and curl up on the ground, 'That's to say it'll only be people whose souls I've already consumed and regurgitated.'
Fai frowns in disgust,
'Do you have to say it, like that?' She's still trying not to think about being digested and I've admitted to already have eaten her soul.
'Sorry,' I apologize, 'I never did eat your soul.' I clarify.
'But we are linked through a blood ritual that tied our souls together. Your blood isn't human, it's mine.'
"Oh goddesses." She laments in her room.
'This is a good thing,' I promise her, 'You aren't undead.'
Fai hesitates on a question, biting her lip.
'Would anything be different if I was?'
How much of my hand should I show? There's nothing she can do to hurt me with this information, so-
'You would have no free will, anything you would be able to do, would have to be something I'd given you permission to do.'
I close my eyes, 'The arrangement we have now is much more equal, more like a contract than a brand of ownership.' and yawn.
'Why did you do it?' Her voice cuts through my brain fog, 'Why did you bind yourself to me?'
There was a reason, wasn't there? My face scrunches up with the effort it's taking to think now.
'It was too unfair.' I offer, yes, I think I thought that. 'To see you dying like that, it felt wrong.'
'You did it because I was dying? When?' Panick is in her mental tone again.
My thoughts are sluggish,
'You were bleeding, after some human holiday.' I wince at the mental image of her wrists. The cuts were too clean.
'The day I woke up in bed, after falling asleep in the tub.' She realizes, 'I don't have any memory of the time in between.'
'Good... for you...' I put a hand over my eyes. I avoided visiting her place to keep from expiriancing this very scenario.
'Someone tried to kill me.'
'Welcome to the club.' I huff.
Her feet pad on the floor in her room, I hadn't noticed her getting up.
'My mother, oh goddesses.' She drops and hugs her knees.
'If you insist on thinking,' I snarl, 'Would you keep it to yourself?' I include my exhaustion in the message. It sinks into her chest from her head and knocks her onto her butt.
'Right, sorry, good... weeks?'
I send the sensation of approval towards her, and finally surrender to sleep.
DU LIEST GERADE
Inside the Fire
Aktuelle LiteraturAn ancient evil reborn, the answers he seeks to faded memories may unknowingly awaken old (genocidal) habits.
