A New Beginning

Chapter 10

Hi everyone! Here is the last chapter of this book! So sorry it took me so much time to post it! I hope you'll like it.

ATHENA PARKS

-Sweetheart? Called out my mother.

I suddenly realised that I was sitting next to my mother in the dining room, sipping a cup of tea. I was overthinking the last day at Stanford again. After one week, he hadn't called yet...that was the only thing in my mind. I must have been lost in my thoughts again because it wasn't the first time my mom had called out to me.

-What's wrong? She asked worriedly.

-Nothing. I'm fine. I said flashing one of my fake smiles.

To my disappointment, she could see straight through that one. I guess it wasn't as convincing as I thought.

-It's nothing mom...I'm messed up again...you know me. I chuckled sarcastically.

-Do you want to talk about it?

-Not really...

-What are you doing here, sweetie? She asked more seriously.

-What do you mean? You don't want me here? I joked.

-You know that's not what I meant Athena. Your father and I are always happy to have you here. But why now? You didn't come back for Christmas or New Year's...neither for the spring break. What changed?

-I missed you both! That's all. I replied, smiling innocently.

-What happened? She asked again gently, her hand on mine.

-It's complicated...I made it complicated rather, as usual...but it's nothing serious.

-You know...you went away to escape here...come on sweetie, your father and I are not blind. She added laughing at my shocked expression. And now you came here, to escape Stanford...have you ever thought that if you just keep holding on for just a while longer, you might find something much more valuable which might be worth staying for?

-I know...Thanks mom, I smiled. But I'm fine, really. I don't need advice. I got up and kissed her cheek before making my way to the roof.

I sat there for a while, staring at the tall buildings...gosh, I hated it here. Too noisy. I have lived here my entire life but I was a countryside person...I had absolutely no idea how that happened. Sure, the view was breathtaking, I loved it...I could see the sun set so well from the top. The sky, having different shades of orange and purple. I loved it. The orange clouds were wavy, leading to the giant ball of fire in the middle of the horizon.

I instantly had a flashback of everything that happened, of my thoughts, of James' expression when I left, the way he hugged me...Tears trickled down my cheeks...I was crying, again. The bathroom wasn't enough, I suppose. I couldn't breathe, I felt as if I was suffocating as my brain asked the same questions over and over again. My head was so close to exploding. I wanted everything to end, I didn't want to go down and face my parents, I didn't want to go back to Stanford and face James. I didn't want to do anything. I wanted time to stop, I wanted everything to freeze. I didn't want to move on, to grow up, to evolve...I wanted to stay just the way I was right now. I wanted to stay on this roof and watch the sunset.

I didn't want to think about anything else or try to find answers to my questions. I wanted to be a nobody, but I was a nobody, wasn't I? I was not courageous enough to face my problems yet, it might have seemed lazy not to do anything but to be honest, it was nothing close to laziness. I wished I could just sit tight, and enjoy the last three weeks with my family. However, with James' coming hatred and lost friendship in my head, I knew that it wasn't going to be easy. Because one way or the other, he was going to find out soon, wasn't he? All this time I have spent avoiding him, wishing that he would just go away, it was only now that I realised how necessary and vital he was to my survival on this earth. Without him, I was lost. He was my balance and...I lost him.

I didn't want anybody's help to solve the issue, I wanted to do this on my own, like a mature adult. If I had to lose him someday, I didn't want things to end over a fight. I knew why I was mad...I missed him. I was jealous. He spent most of his time with Bree and I had started feeling that my existence was useless to him. He didn't need me as long as he had Bree, did he? I was irritated by that fact. Right now,at this moment, I didn't care whether he needed me or not, all I cared about was that without him, my world crumbled into pieces. I knew that for sure now. If it might have seemed selfish...it was.

I closed my eyes, unwilling to think anymore and trying to savour the light breeze on my cheeks flowing in my hair. The air up on the roof was different, it was city air, not nature air. Some might say that it even had a taste of smoke, I was among one of the first people to agree on that...mostly because I was the one who invented it and that I was the only one thinking that the air was different...I realised, for the first time since I got to Stanford, that I was alone. I was feeling the same way as I was when I was a kid. Alone in this world, as if I came from another century or planet, even from a different galaxy if you think that I didn't belong here...maybe I didn't belong here...I felt lonely, my friends whom I have met for only one year completed me in some inexplicable way. I didn't want to lose them all, I was certain that they would all side next to James and Bree though...even Mackenzie, when the predicted day would come.

No one in my life had sided next to me, that's probably why I always considered myself as a lone wolf. It wasn't a monstrous thing...to be a lone wolf. I liked it, at times. I was used to it, heck, I had no other choice my entire life than to be used to it. I never craved human connections...except James'. He was my weakness and also my strength. My dream but also my nightmare. He had the power of breaking my heart into pieces but also to mend them. It might have seemed crazy to be already so devoted...I thought so too, which was why I had to do everything in my power to be back to normal when I got back next year.

"Anything's possible when you've got enough nerves." I said to myself as I remembered one of Ginny Weasley's quotes from Harry Potter. Yes, anything was possible...I just had to work for it and concentrate. Next year was going to be awesome. "It's gonna be legen-...wait for it- ...and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is dairy. Legendary!" I said to myself again as I laughed at the quote from "How I met your mother". It was going to be awesome, trust me on that...

You just had to wait for it.

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Until next time!