BITTERSWEET TRAGEDY-DAISY JONES AND THE SIX

012: life after death

BILLY: Even though Aracely left, tour continued. It's not like she had a major role anyways.

EDDIE: It was difficult without her, we didn't play the same. Yet none of that mattered, all that was on my mind was finishing this stupid tour. That way I can go home to my girl.

KAREN: I didn't realize how hard it would be to see her go. I didn't think she was actually going to go through with it. I was too busy fooling around with Graham I didn't even know she was serious about leaving.

ARACELY: Leaving was the best decision for me and my family. I felt all the weight finally lifted off my shoulders. I was regaining my happiness that the band had stolen for me.

DAISY: If we are being honest, the rest of tour was a blur. I got married, then left him, then almost died. I realized that I needed to go to rehab. The thought I kept hearing in my head was Go for a little while just for a break. You don't have to stop forever. That was my plan. To go to rehab without planning to quit forever. It made perfect sense to me.

BILLY: I picked up the phone to call information to get the number for the rehab center I went to. But when I picked up the receiver, there was no dial tone. And someone on the other end was saying, "Hello?" I said, "Hello?" It was the concierge. He said, "I have an Artie Snyder on the phone for you." I told him to put it through but I was thinking, Why is my sound engineer calling me at the ass crack of dawn? I said, "Artie, what on earth...?"

DAISY: Teddy had a heart attack.

WARREN: A lot of people live through heart attacks. So when I found out, I thought...I didn't immediately realize that meant he was dead.

BILLY: Gone.

GRAHAM: Teddy Price isn't the kind of guy you think is going to die of a heart attack. Well, I mean, he ate like shit and drank a lot and didn't take great care of himself but... He just seemed too...powerful, maybe. Like if a heart attack came to town he was going to tell it to screw off and it would.

BILLY: It just knocked the wind right out of me. And my first thought when I got off the phone.

ARACELY: I've known Teddy since I was twenty, and now he was gone. Just like that, no warning or anything..just gone.

ROD: I got them all home to L.A. for the funeral.

WARREN: We'd all been devastated to lose Teddy. But, man, watching Yasmine, his girlfriend, break down in these awful tears at his grave...I just kept thinking that so little in life mattered. But how Yasmine felt about Teddy...that mattered.

ARACELY: I took Mara to the funeral, I know she was only a child, but I wanted her to know the man who changed my life. Who made my life better.

GRAHAM: Teddy was a lot of things to a lot of people. I'll never forget being at the memorial and seeing Billy holding Yasmine's hand, trying to make her feel all right. Because I knew he wasn't all right. Every man needs a man to look up to. For better or worse, I had Billy. Billy had Teddy. And Teddy was gone.

BILLY: Things had sort of spun out of control for me. I could barely make sense of anything. I couldn't process it. Teddy being gone. Teddy being...dead. I think I died inside, for a little while. I know that sounds kind of extreme. But that's what it felt like. It felt like my heart sort of turned to stone. Or...you know how people get cryogenically frozen? Like, they just put themselves on ice in the hopes that they can come back one day? That's what happened to my soul. On ice. I couldn't handle reality. Not sober. Not without a drink or a...I just checked out. I checked out of my life. I had no other way of coping but to die inside. Because if I tried to stay alive, to live during that period of time, it might actually have killed me.

DAISY: When Teddy died, that was it. I'd decided there was no sense in getting sober. I rationalized it.

EDDIE: I'd thought the best thing for all of us was to get back out on the road. We lost a cousin of mine in a car accident about ten or eleven years before, and my dad had said, "Work through pain." That's been my way ever since.

CAMILA: I said to him, "You need to get back on the road, Billy. We'll all go with you. But you need to get back out there. Sitting at home thinking is killing you."

ROD: At some point, you have to get back on the bus.

GRAHAM: You think that tragedy means that the world is over but you realize the world is never over. It's just never over. Nothing will end it. And I kept focusing on the fact that, with Karen and I, you know, life is just beginning.

KAREN: I was very thankful to Rod that he got us back out on the road. That he didn't let us capsize.

ARACELY: I said my goodbyes to Eddie as he got ready to go back on tour. I knew it wouldn't be the same, not after this huge loss.

KAREN: We were all dealing with the death of Teddy, that I wasn't even aware I was pregnant. When I found out it felt like my life stopped. I told Graham I'd decided to have an abortion. And he said I was crazy. And I told him I wasn't. And he asked me not to do it. I said, "Are you going to quit this band to raise this baby?" And he didn't respond. And that was it.

GRAHAM: I thought we were still discussing it.

KAREN: Graham and I weren't anything serious, and I never expected him to leave the band to raise a child. We weren't like Billy or Aracely.

WARREN: We were on the bus heading into Chicago and Eddie seemed conflicted about something. I said, "Talk if you want to talk." I don't like it when people try to force you to ask them what's going on. He said, "I haven't told anybody this but..." He was going to leave the band.

EDDIE: I was not listening to anything he said. Warren said I should talk to Billy, get Billy to talk some sense into me. As if I was going to listen to Billy.

KAREN: When we arrived in Chicago, Camila came with me to the abortion clinic. She asked me if I thought I was making a mistake. But I knew, this wasn't a mistake. I couldn't be a mother.

CAMILA: It's not my place to say what happened that day. All I will say is that you show up for your friends on their hardest days. And you hold their hand through the roughest parts. Life is about who is holding your hand and, I think, whose hand you commit to holding.

KAREN: As we were all leaving the hotel, heading out to Chicago, I saw Graham get in the elevator alone, and I thought about taking the stairs. But I didn't. I got in the elevator with him. Just the two of us. And as the elevator started going down, he said, "Are you okay? Camila said you weren't feeling well." And I said, "I'm not pregnant anymore." He turned to me with this look on his face like, I never thought you'd do this to me. The elevator doors opened and we both just stood there. Not saying a word. They closed. And we took the elevator all the way to the top. And then all the way back down. Right before we got to the lobby again, Graham hit the button for the second floor. And he got off.

GRAHAM: I walked up and down the hallway of that hotel, over and over and over and over. At the end of the hallway there was a window, and I put my head on it. My forehead. And I looked down at all of the people below me. I was only a few floors up from them. I watched them walking from place to place, and I felt jealous of every single one of them. That they weren't me right then. I wanted to switch places with every man down there.