Hold me; Lets Run Away! (Completed)

Need to Let go!

Yn: Yoongi stop!
He halted his steps as he was going to walk past the hospital's garden. Good thing we stopped far from that gross smell of hospital.
Yn: You already know that you have a lot to tell me, stop running away!
Yoongi: No, there's nothing!
He murmured it but because of the silence, I could here it...
I again took a step but I came in front of him making him stop in his pace. Now he looked a little mad but thats nothing compared to the anger I have been suppressing within me.
Yn: You left me! AND I deserve an explanation.
Yoongi: I don't have one! And even if I do, I am not interested to share it with you. Afterall, you are nothing but a pathetic girl who needs me for some moral support!
He said it. And my heart was crushed beneath my chest. I took it all in.
Yn: Did you ever loved me?
I asked him, pleading him with my eyes for the answer to be yes.
Yoongi: No..
Yn: Oh... Ok
I stepped aside letting him go. He looked at me for a brief moment but I avoided eye contact and went from there sitting on the park bench.
I put my face in my palm and started sobbing. Why does the pain never goes? The pain of him leaving me, the pain of him getting married, the pain of him coming back after years and the pain of him never loving me and the pain of me..... always loving him...
Somewhere in the corner of my heart, I wish he comes to me and tell me that yes it's not possible now but I had loved you...

I am at my home, laying down on my bed and watching the ceilings as it is the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen when my mom barged in my room...
Mrs Shin: You won't believe who is here!!!
Yn: Someone, I... don't wanna meet???
She gave me a duh look and pulled my arms in order to follow... I released a deep sigh knowing that this lady is never gonna listen to me...
My steps fumbled once I saw the person standing near the door. When I don't wanna see him, why he always appears?
Mrs Shen: He came here to meet a specific someone...
She said and winked, oh, my mom never understands..
Mrs Shen: You both talk, I will bring snackes for you...
She happily jogged to the kitchen. She is happy... for me, but... I am not. This is gonna hurt me. I can't keep colliding with him now. As I know that there is no point in waiting and maybe you have also heard that waiting for someone else's man is as sinful as a real crime!
While these thoughts lingering, I tried to muster myself up to my room but before that, a cold hand grabbed my wrist, stopping me.
Yoongi; We need to talk.
Yn: No, we don't!
Yoongi: Yes we do! Come on...
I kept staring at my hands in his even though I know I shouldn't while he dragged me to my room and shut the door close. The sound that it made also made me turmoil.
Yn: What the heck is your problem? Sometimes, you don't want me in your life and act like I should never have existed then at the very next brief moment, you act like I am important. Please. Just don't do this to me. Stay away at once. Tell me clearly and get away, you and I both know that I am not that strong person and I can't take it. I am very tired of waiting for you and now that it's not working. Don't I deserve some rest? Can't I gift myself some rest!

I broked. I was crying a mess and he was looking at me even though not much of saying anything for a brief moment but when he finally opened in mouth, his words painted a pure shock on my face.
Yoongi: no.
Yn: What?
He looked at me and that's when I got to know that he is also crying, his tears are coming out but his voice and expression is cold.
Yoongi: Love me!
Again a silence spread sound.
Yoongi: Just love me, please. I beg you to love me. I can even pay you to love me but please dont stop. I know I am sounding very bad right now but I can't help it. Actually, I can't afford to lose your love. I don't have anything but that..
Yn: Y.. Yoongi??
He grabbed my waist pressing his one thumb on my sides and other circulating my navel under my shirt and put his head on my bare shoulder as my shirt was an off shoulder one....
Yoongi: I loved you. From the time we were kids to the time in the ship or even to the last day we were together, nothing was faked! You love me, that's the biggest pleasure of mine. That's the best I can ask for but maybe I am not that deserving. See, I want you so bad! Like you are my medicine but... I can't have you!!
His cries soon intensified and he lost control...
Yn: If that's what you want... Then I will do it!
I knew my words bring joy to him. But...
Yn: But I also have a request...
Yoongi: Wh-What is it?
Yn: Let go...
Yoongi: What?
Our voice came like the softest thing ever existed... I kept my hands on his biceps and my forehead on his shoulder. Crying, silently.
Yn: I will always love you. Will never complain if I had you when I needed you or not. It's fine if you forget me, I will never! So just let me go, don't give me this much pain for just loving someone because as far as I know I did nothing to deserve this.
We cried. But after that his arms around me loosen and he let me go.